How to Get a Guy to Notice You on Social Media

Co-authored by Imad Jbara and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: September 30, 2021 References

Social media is a great way to get a guy's attention, but it can also be a little tricky! You don't want to be too obvious, and you may struggle to determine what kind of posts will really get him to notice you. Luckily, there's a lot of different ways to get a guy's attention online while still being true to yourself.

1

Be yourself online to stand out.

Show off all of your unique quirks. Being different from everyone else is a surefire way to get a guy's attention. Share things related to your personal interests, like bands you like, visual artists you admire, and books you're reading.^{[1]
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Research source} Don't worry about looking perfect or staging the most beautiful selfies. You don't have to look a certain way to get a guy's attention.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University
Go to source} Be true to yourself and make your social media reflect your passions and interests.^{[3]
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- Try not to compare yourself to other people on social media sites. Just because one person is doing something, doesn't mean you have to. You want the guy to like you for you.^{[4]
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- Don't feel pressure to post revealing photos of yourself if you don't want to. There are a lot of ways to get a guy's attention. Prioritize the methods that make you feel good, too.^{[5]
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2

Set up an interesting profile.

Pick a good photo of yourself that clearly shows your face. You want to give a great first impression when he clicks on your profile.^{[6]
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Research source} Add one or two lines to your bio that reveals a key element of your personality. Check out these examples below:
- Mention your interests: “I love coffee and the cello. But I make great coffee and bad cellos.”
- Pick a quote that aligns with your values: ‘‘‘Lift as you climb.’” Or “‘Do or do not. There is no try.’”
- Use a few nouns to talk about who you are: “South High Class of ‘23. Snake owner. Aspiring skier.”
- Say something totally random: “Find me in the cereal aisle of your nearest grocery store.”

3

Share photos of yourself doing fun things.

This shows that you live a vibrant life. Choose photos friends took of you on a recent hiking trip or at an event you attended. You want to choose photos of yourself that can show him your interests, like playing music or surfing on the coast. This can get his attention by showing him all the cool things you do, and it can also work well to give him something to ask about if he's looking to talk to you.^{[7]
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- If you hiked to a waterfall this weekend, ask your friend to take a picture of you when you reach the top. It'll make you look adventurous and fun.

4

Vary your posts to keep things interesting.

Share music, interesting pictures, and info about worthy causes. Draw attention to all kinds of things that you like. If you posted a picture of yourself with your puppy a few days ago, maybe pick something else to share later that week. Post a landscape photo that you took on your latest road trip or a picture of your artwork. Your wide-ranging interests and hobbies will really intrigue him.^{[8]
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5

Post solo shots.

Avoid just posting photos with you and a big group of friends. This can make it hard for the guy to distinguish you from the crowd. Make sure your social media looks like yours. Post solo shots most of the time, and save photos of you and your best friends for special occasions.^{[9]
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- Avoid posting a lot of selfies. Photos that others took of you are a little more candid and can reveal a lot more about you. This will pique his interest much more than a selfie.^{[10]
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6

Be playful with your style.

Choose eye-catching clothes that make you feel confident. Experiment with a fun, new lipstick if you like wearing makeup. Get some statement heels or a colorful pair of sneakers you've been eyeing for a while. Pick clothes that make you feel good about yourself.^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source
Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University
Go to source} Your confident smile in your photos will shine through social media and hopefully get a like (or maybe even a DM) from the guy you're interested in.^{[12]
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- Wear things that make you feel confident, not what works for other people. If you've got a sequin dress that looks great but just doesn't fit with your style, choose a breezy floral dress or a cute pair of pants instead.

7

Emphasize the positive.

It's best to stay offline when you're feeling upset. Save rants about your bad day for private conversations with friends. Share things like life updates with a hopeful spin. Social media is also a great tool to highlight current events or worthy social causes. If there's a cause you care about, go ahead and share your perspective online. These posts help your community, which is a super positive thing.^{[13]
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- A positive perspective helps you appear more friendly to the guy that you're interested in, which will make you way more (virtually) approachable.
- You don't have to pretend that everything is perfect when it isn't. Just avoid gossiping, talking negatively about other people, or sharing personal details you may regret divulging when you're feeling a little better.

8

Comment on his posts from time to time.

Drop a like and comment if he has a lot of followers.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Avoid commenting on selfies, gym photos, and posed photos where he’s alone. That might send too strong of a message that you like him. Instead, get him to notice you by commenting something clever or funny on photos of his pets, funny outings with his friends, vacations, etc.^{[15]
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- Keep it lowkey by leaving a couple of emojis: “That hike looks 😅⛰️”
- Point out things you have in common: “Didn’t realize there was another Hufflepuff at our school lmao.”
- Bring up shared experiences: “I was just there. Haven’t tried their chai yet.”

9

Reply to his story.

Try this strategy as a casual way to slide into his DMs. When he posts a cool or funny story, message a short comment or question.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} It doesn’t have to be anything super clever, but if he responds, it’s a good sign he’s interested in you!^{[17]
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- Respond to a photo of food with: “That looks amazing. Please tell me where I can get sushi/burritos/pasta/etc. like that.”
- Reply to a story with a mutual friend in it: “How do you know Trevor?!”
- Tease him a little if he shows off a skill: “So when are you going pro?”

10

Follow and engage with his interests.

Learn more about him and get him to notice you at the same time. Check who he’s following to see if he’s into specific sports, celebrities, or topics. Follow those people or topics and turn on notifications so you’ll know when those bands/celebrities/teams post something new. Then, quickly like or comment on those posts (ideally before your crush sees the post himself). That way, when he scrolls through his feed on a social media platform like Instagram, he’ll be able to see that you liked the post and might think “Woah, I didn’t know they liked that, too!”
- Try to only follow content you might be interested in, too. Don’t pretend you love a certain band or soccer player if you don’t really care about that type of music or that sport.

11

Keep living your life in the real world.

It's best to avoid sharing every moment of your life on social media. Focusing too much on sites like Instagram or Twitter can take you out of the present moment and distract you from your real-life hobbies and connections.^{[18]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} Limit your posts to 1-2 times a day or even to every couple of days. This leaves the guy wanting more and shows him that you have a busy, full life offline.^{[19]
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- Make all of your posts have a reason behind them, like wanting to share the best shots of your vacation or revealing important life updates (graduations, promotions, etc.).

12

Delete photos of you and your ex on social media.

Otherwise, the guy you like may think you're taken. It may be tough to part with these memories, but consider deleting the pictures (at least just off of your social media accounts) so that a new guy can enter the picture. If you'd really rather not delete them, you can archive them instead so that they are hidden from public view on your profile.^{[20]
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- Try not to worry about how this would make your ex feel. This is your social media and you're allowed to do what you want.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you break the ice on social media?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try replying to one of his social media stories! For instance, if he posts a picture of himself outside, you could strike up a conversation about nature and the outdoors.
Question

How do you get a guy's attention on Instagram?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Just liking his photos and commenting on his pictures is a great starting point. You can always try sliding into his DMs, too!