Mary Griffith (activist)

Mary Griffith (October 13, 1934 – February 7, 2020) was an American LGBT rights activist whose son, Bobby, died by suicide due to her religious intolerance.[1] Following his suicide, Griffith became a longstanding LGBT rights activist.

Mary Griffith
BornOctober 13, 1934
Died (aged 85)
Walnut Creek, California, U.S.
NationalityAmerican
Occupation(s)Teacher, activist

Bobby Griffith

Robert 'Bobby' Warren Griffith (1963–1983) was Mary Griffith's son. Bobby died when he threw himself off a bridge in Portland, Oregon, aged 20. Bobby realised he was gay in high school, and felt substantial shame over this. Writing in his diary, Bobby said: "I can't ever let anyone find out that I’m not straight. It would be so humiliating. My friends would hate me. They might even want to beat me up. And my family? I've overheard them. They've said they hate gays, and even God hates gays, too. Gays are bad, and God sends bad boys to hell. It really scares me when they are talking about me."[2]

After his coming out, Mary sent him to counselling at the Walnut Creek Presbyterian Church, and would put bible verses around the house in an attempt to stop sinning.[2] Bobby attempted suicide by overdosing on aspirin, and dropped out of Las Lomas High School two months before his graduation.[2] In 1983 Bobby moved to Portland with his boyfriend. Following a trip back to Walnut Creek, which Mary described Bobby as having "given up," he returned to Portland and threw himself off an over-pass, dying when his body made contact with the highway and an 18-wheel truck.[3]

A scholarship was set up in Bobby's name in 1990, administered by GLSEN, and closed in 2020.[4]

Activism

Following Bobby's suicide, Griffith reconsidered her opposition to homosexuality, and no longer believed that gay people would go to Hell.[5] Griffith became involved with PFLAG, eventually becoming the president of a San Francisco chapter.[6] Griffith also advocated for Gay Freedom Week, and for an increase in support for gay students in public schools.[7]

On December 6, 1995, Griffith testified before the United States Congress, where she asked the federal government to fund LGBT-education in schools.[8]

In 2019, Griffith wrote an article for The Advocate criticising the use of conversion therapy and asking religious conservatives to reconsider their position on homosexuality.[9]

Prayers for Bobby

Griffith's story was adapted into a book written by Leroy F. Aarons and published by HarperCollins in 1995, titled Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son.[10]

In 2009, a film, titled Prayers for Bobby, was produced. Griffith was played by Sigourney Weaver.[11] In response to the film, Griffith noted that "the movie comes very close to what happened."[12]

Personal life

Griffith was born to a highly devout Christian family, and after a minor incident with the police when she was a teenager, she became a fundamentalist. Later she largely abandoned her fundamentalist perspective. Describing her religious beliefs in 2009, she said that "It's humiliating just to go through the Bible and see the fairy tales I believed, like that business about mixing fabrics."[12] Griffith died in 2020, aged 85.[6]

References
  1. "LGBTQ Rights Crusader Mary Griffith Dies at 85". Variety. February 12, 2020. Archived from the original on February 13, 2020. Retrieved February 14, 2020.
  2. Saran, cj Cabungcal and Tanvi (November 10, 2017). "The Death and Legacy of Bobby Griffith". mysite. Archived from the original on November 2, 2021. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  3. "NONFICTION". Los Angeles Times. October 15, 1995. Archived from the original on November 2, 2021. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  4. "Bobby Griffith Memorial Scholarship". eQuality Scholarship Collaborative. Archived from the original on May 6, 2021. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  5. Limsky, Drew (July 3, 1995). "ACCEPTING A GAY SON TOO LATE". Washington Post. ISSN 0190-8286. Archived from the original on April 13, 2019. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  6. "Mary Griffith, Champion of LGBTQ rights, has passed away". PFLAG. February 13, 2020. Archived from the original on November 25, 2020. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  7. "Mary Griffith, Who Lost Her Gay Son to Suicide, Has Died". www.advocate.com. February 13, 2020. Archived from the original on August 6, 2021. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  8. "Congress' Lesson on Values: There's No Middle Ground". Los Angeles Times. December 7, 1995. Archived from the original on February 14, 2020.
  9. "A Prayer for Bobby on Coming Out Day". www.advocate.com. October 11, 2019. Archived from the original on April 25, 2021. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  10. Halterman, Jim. "Sigourney Weaver on Why 'Prayers for Bobby' Is the 'Hardest Part I've Ever Played Emotionally'". TV Insider. Archived from the original on October 19, 2021. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  11. Azzopardi, Chris (July 12, 2021). "12 Years Later: Sigourney Weaver Reflects on 'Prayers for Bobby'". Philadelphia Gay News. Archived from the original on August 14, 2021. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
  12. "Mary Griffith: Everyday Hero". www.advocate.com. January 14, 2009. Archived from the original on June 13, 2017. Retrieved November 2, 2021.
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