Dating preferences

Currently, the body of research regarding ideal preferences, specifically whether preferences for certain traits in an individual translate to relationship formation with individuals who match those preferences, is marked by controversy and debate.

Ideal preference in a potential dating partner can manifest in many different ways. For example, people have been found to prefer partners who are emotionally mature, open to feedback and new experiences, honest, respectful, sensitive, independent, empathetic, physically affectionate, and humorous.[1] However, the body of research regarding ideal preferences, specifically whether preferences for certain traits in an individual translate to relationship formation with individuals who match those preferences, is marked by controversy and debate.

One side of the research asserts that ideal partner preference can predict the types of individuals a person seeks when forming new relationships. In a study led by Lorne Campbell, one of the researchers in support of the link between ideal preference and relationship formation, it was found that when a person's ideal preference aligns with a potential partner's self-perception, it predicts relationship formation. The study found this correlation even when controlling for qualities that are often seen as stereotypically sought after by most individuals, showing that the link was attributed to the alignment of ideal preference and self-perception.[2] Additionally, studies on the impact of music preferences provide support to this assertion. Research has found that when people share preferences for similar music, they are likely to experience social attraction towards one another because musical preference can be linked to a person's values.[3] This is built on research that has shown people's music preference can predict aspects of their personality, such as their openness, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and extraversion.[4] Though this research is not specifically related to romantic relationships, it provides further evidence of the link between preferences and relationships.

The other side of the debate, which asserts ideal partner preference does not link to relationship formation, includes researchers Eastwick and Finkel. One piece of their research, in which they studied people's judgments of the characteristics of potential romantic partners, found that the preferences people report on the dimensions of physical attractiveness, earning prospects, and personability for potential partners do not align with the characteristics of the people they genuinely seek when forming new relationships. Although they were unable to identify a mechanism to explain why this is the case, the direction of their results were clearly contrasting the notion of a linkage between ideal preference and relationship formation.[5][6] In another study of theirs, it was found that if there was a difference between ideal preferences and potential partner traits in face-to-face meeting contexts, it did not predict worse relationship satisfaction than contexts where ideal preferences and potential partner traits align.[7] In addition, it was found that although people believe they will prefer an individual whose characteristics match personal preferences, after having brief interactions with those individuals, that initial perception of attraction would fade.[8] Similar to the work of Eastwick and Finkel, researchers Selterman and Gideon found that when evaluating the link between people's impression of a potential partner's qualities, such as physical attraction, career prospects, ambition, friendliness, responsiveness, charisma, etc., and their attraction towards those people, these preferences did not predict attraction.[9]

In a response to this opposition, Campbell and colleagues conducted a meta-analysis of the body of ideal preferences research to determine the cause of the discrepancy between their and opposing claims. In this review, it was discovered that less than 5% of the studies used by Eastwick and Finkel focused on the link between ideal preferences and initial relationship formation, while the remaining majority of studies evaluate general attraction and processes later in people's relationships. As a result, a call for more studies specifically investigating the link between ideal preferences and relationship formation was made for the benefit of ideal preferences research as well as general relationships research.[10]

One designation of the research on dating preferences is the preferences of race, which still plays a role in selecting a dating partner.[11] One study investigated the preference for dating members of different races among members of each race, attempting to identify trends that may provide insights into why members of certain races may prefer members of their own or other races. Differences in dating preferences across races was found to exist, with Whites having the strongest ingroup dating preference among the races, and a stronger preference for Hispanics over Asians and Blacks, Asians and Hispanics having a strong preference for Whites over any other race, including members of their own race, and Blacks preferring ingroup dating the most and asians. The study explained that preference for Whites can be explained by social dominance theory, which claims that people want to improve their social standing, and will prefer relationships with members of the socially dominant race as a means of improving their standing. This may explain why for Hispanics and Asians, there was a stronger preference for Whites than their own race, which counteracts the similarity hypothesis, claiming people will prefer those who are similar to them.[12]

This concept of similarity hypothesis arises in a study concerning attraction to people whose race is that of their opposite-sex parent in biracial individuals, a hypothesis that comes from psychoanalytic theory. The study found that relationships for biracial individuals did not support the psychoanalytic perspective of attraction, but there was a significant preference for individuals whose race matched at least one of their parents, providing support for the similarity hypothesis. Additionally, preference for individuals whose ethnicity matched their parents was weaker for those with a diverse dating background, demonstrating that same-race preference may be a matter of experience rather than intrinsic preference.[13] Factors that influence the likelihood of preference for dating members of other races have been investigated, particularly social approval, social identity, and previous experience. Social approval refers to the perceived attitudes towards out-group dating of support networks, especially friends, family, and community, which was found to positively predict the formation of outgroup romantic relationships. Social identity refers to an individual's sense of belongingness, and a security in that identity, which was found to decrease the likelihood of dating other races. Previous experience, which included personal experience and experiences of people close to the individual, contributed to more open-minded attitudes toward other races, and increased the likelihood of dating members of other races.[14] At this time, the mechanisms to explain why these phenomena exist has not been clearly defined by researchers. Therefore, the reasons explaining the phenomena are merely speculative based on relatedness to existing theories that govern social interactions.[15]

Various studies have specifically evaluated the implications of racial dating preferences among Asian-American individuals. In a study investigating the dating preference tendencies of Asian-American high school students, it was found that among the students, strength of one's own racial identity as well as closeness with family negatively predicted a preference for dating members of other races. These findings coincide with the similarity hypothesis, additionally demonstrating that the similarity hypothesis especially holds when individuals have strong, positive feelings towards their own race and strong relationships with other members of their same race, especially family members. In addition, the study found that a perception of racial discrimination against Asian-Americans predicted that individuals would prefer dating members of different races.[16] In a study on the dating preferences of queer Asian American men, the dimension of internalized racism was evaluated in its role in racial preferences for these individuals. Queer men and heterosexual women have been found to have a preference for dating White men, which the study found to be the case as a result of internalized racism. They also found that self-efficacy contributed to greater preference for same-race dating, paralleling the findings of the aforementioned study.[17]

Weight bias, or the social stigma of obesity describes the collection of negative attitudes towards individuals who are overweight, whose implications on dating has been found in research.[18] In a study on dating and hiring preferences on the basis of weight, around 1000 participants across were asked to report on their preference of individuals after being shown pictures of thinner and heavier individuals. The sexual preference of participants ranged from lesbian women, gay men, bisexual women, heterosexual men, and heterosexual women. This study found that there was a significant relationship between weight and dating preference, which varied across sexual preference. The bias towards thinner partners was found to be strongest for heterosexual participants and gay men, and weakest for lesbian and bisexual women. These findings demonstrate that although weight bias impacts heterosexual individuals and gay men, this effect does not appear among sexual minority women.[19]

The desire to have children, as well as already having children, impacts dating preference among individuals. Research has particularly found the impact that having and wanting children has on men's preferences for potential dating partners.[20] In a study on the impact of having or wanting children in the online dating scene, wanting and having children was found to have an impact on men's preferences for potential woman partners. Men who did not have children, or those who wanted them had a preference for younger women to a significantly greater extent than men who had children or did not want them. Generally, the study found that whether or not a men had or did not have children had more of an impact than whether they wanted to didn't want children.[21] Furthermore, in a study on the impact of having children in lesbian woman dating preferences, it was found that the exclusion of potential partners with children was dependent on race. Based on a combination of factors, including having children, excluding women with children, and others, White women were found to be the most exclusionary of potential partners with children, followed by Hispanic, followed by Black, followed by Asian.[22]

Research related to dating preferences for those who have encountered psychologically abusive relationships has demonstrated that negative experiences in relationships can cause people to prefer traits in individuals that are harmful to themselves, which can also be found in research on the Dark Triad of personality. Additionally, it has been shown that even when people leave relationships that are harmful for them, they will find themselves in future relationships that are equally as harmful.[23] In a study on psychological abuse and preferences for potential partners, it was found that women who have been the recipient of psychological abuse in a previous relationship are more likely to seek romantic relationships in which their partner exhibits characteristics of one who is psychologically abusive, such as impulsiveness and jealousy. Another finding from the study was related to the partner pursuits of perpetrators of psychological abuse, where for men who have psychologically abused a recent romantic partner, they prefer seeking romantic relationships with anxiously attached women, who are more likely to be victims of psychological abuse.[24]