I Can't Date Jesus

According to Arceneaux, "I wanted to write about my life with a mix of pathos and humor—the same way a lot of white male authors like David Sedaris and Augusten Burroughs get to write about their lives."[6]

In 2011 the writing process was complete, but Arceneaux did not publish it until 2018 because he needed an agent and publisher. Dystel, Goderich, & Bourret agent Jim McCarthy initially declined to represent Arceneaux but changed his mind after reading some of Arceneaux's essays. Rakesh Satyal of Altria became his editor; according to Arceneaux his supervision strengthened his book.[6]

Arceneaux had a conversation with his mother, who believed God opposes homosexuality, and his title is a reference to that conversation.[3] She stated that since she knew he had sex with another man, she was not confident that he was going to go to heaven.[5] He stated that the best response to a religious person who interprets his or her religion as being opposed to homosexuality is "I plan to have sex, so I can’t date Jesus."[7] He first finished the book and then selected its title.[5]

Michelle Raji of the Texas Observer stated that the book's construction as a "series of explanations" is similar to those of self-help books, making it "a logical extension of the polemic, confessional style he’s perfected online" as well as being "accessible to a larger audience".[8]

One essay discusses how he does not have an admiration for whiteness because his parents deliberately took him to African-American healthcare personnel, he attended primary and secondary schools that had mostly African-American and Hispanic and Latino students, and he attended a historically black university.[8]

In "The Place Is No Sanctuary" he discusses homophobia in black-owned barbershops, which are for non-gay blacks places to socialize.[8]

In "I See A Priest in You" he received a suggestion that he become a priest, but Arceneaux decides not to do this.[8]

"You Will Die Poor" discusses his life as a low income resident of Los Angeles.[8]

"The First, the Worst" and "Learning How to Ho and Date and Failing at Both" discuss his romantic life.[8]

In Chapter 15 the author states his dislike of President Donald Trump and his administration, as well as Arceneaux's coming out to his mother.[5]

In Vogue, Chloe Schama and Bridget Read noted Arceneaux's "hysterically funny, vulnerable" style, calling the collection "a triumph of self-exploration, tinged with but not overburdened by his reckoning with our current political moment...The result is a piece of personal and cultural storytelling that is as fun as it is illuminating."[9]

Savas Abadsidis of The Advocate stated that the book's humor is similar to that of David Sedaris.[10] According to Tre'vell Anderson of the Los Angeles Times, observers also compared the writing to that of Samantha Irby.[5]

Raji stated that the book "is an admirable attempt to reverse" a dynamic of mostly white-owned media stakeholders asking for racial ethnic minorities to "lead with his otherness, to write [one's] identity not just as a perspective but as a spectacle", and that I Can't Date Jesus has "a little more story and a little less spectacle."[8] According to Raji, "the high-wire act between fun and serious does not land" in about half of the essays, including the romance-related ones, but that the "standout essay on sexual racism and interracial dating redeems these false starts."[8] She also described the priest essay as a "standout".[8]

Publishers Weekly stated that the book's "confident voice and unapologetic sense of humor will appeal to fans of Roxane Gay."[1]

Kirkus Reviews described it as "A funny, fierce, and bold memoir in essays."[2]

• History of the African Americans in Houston
• LGBT culture in Houston
• Christianity in Houston

• I Can't Date Jesus - Simon and Schuster