List of Desmond's episodes
This is a list of episodes of the UK sitcom Desmond's.
Series 1 (5 January - 9 February 1989)
Series One aired on Thursdays at 8:30pm.
| Series # | Title | Written by | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | French Lessons (5 January 89) | Trix Worrell | Desmond thinks Shirley is playing away when she begins to brag about her French Teacher |
| 2 | The Offer (12 January 89) | Trix Worrell | Desmond considers selling the shop to retire in Guyana early, when a smooth-talking businessman enters the shop. Deciding to apply for a loan to do up the shop instead, Desmond visits the bank only to find his eldest son Michael is the one who'll make the decision. |
| 3 | Expansion Plans (19 January 89) | Trix Worrell | Michael decides that the shop needs more employees and he introduces Tony, who gets the job as Desmond's assistant |
| 4 | Hello, Auntie Susu (26 January 89) | Trix Worrell | Shirley's obnoxious older sister arrives but begins to annoy everyone when she takes without asking and does things how she wants in her sister's house |
| 5 | A Surprise For Porkpie (2 February 89) | Trix Worrell | Porkpie disappoints everyone when he doesn't celebrate Shirley's birthday, because he needs a TV licence. |
| 6 | Sad News (9 February 89) | Trix Worrell | Gloria is going on a date with a gay politician, while Desmond and Shirley get news that their old friend and former band member of The Georgetown Dreamers, Sweetsticks, has died. |
Series 2 (22 January - 16 April 1990)
Series Two aired on Mondays at 8:30pm.
| Series # | Title | Written by | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | The Treatment (22 January 90) | Trix Worrell | Desmond is taken into hospital with an illness but he is scared thinking he could die. |
| 8 | Hold De Front Page {Part 1} (29 January 90) | Trix Worrell | Old gossip Beverly arrives with a funny feeling then the barbershop is held up by two struggling teens, armed with guns |
| 9 | Hold De Front Page {Part 2} (5 February 90) | Trix Worrell | The barbershop is still under siege and the teens are armed with guns but they soon surrender when a public appeal from their parents is aired on the news. |
| 10 | Veronica (12 February 90) | Trix Worrell | Sean has fallen in love with his study partner Veronica, And everyone is interested in what may happen, But Veronica won't shut up about Lee. |
| 11 | A Microwave, Five Men and a Nappy (19 February 90) | Trix Worrell | Shirley and Gloria are away for the weekend and a struggling mother leaves her baby with Desmond, Michael, Tony, Porkpie and Matthew. This could mean trouble. |
| 12 | Reunion (26 February 90) | Trix Worrell | Michael is invited to a college reunion with his college mates and he is the only one that has not achieved his dream that they all wrote on a letter when they left college. |
| 13 | Porkpies (5 March 90) | Trix Worrell | Matthew is panicking now that his bossy obnoxious sister, Florence and her husband are arriving from Africa and since Matthew told them that he has business partners, Tony and Lee suddenly get a new job. |
| 14 | For Love Or Money (12 March 90) | Trix Worrell | Desmond, Porkpie, Vince and Burt enter a music competition as The Georgetown Dreamers. Could this work out ? |
| 15 | Stop The World, I Want To Get Off (19 March 90) | Trix Worrell | Shirley's upset and goes out for the day and meets a poor lady, which they make friends but Desmond is too pre-occupied with a dominoes contest to realise Shirley's emotions. |
| 16 | Here Comes De Sun (26 March 90) | Trix Worrell | Porkpie starts a protest against the Channel Tunnel and Gloria fails her exams and tries to hide it from Desmond. After seeing an old friend as a model, Gloria then decides that she would like to do the same, but it isn't all it seems. |
| 17 | Kung You (2 April 90) | Trix Worrell | Beverly is mugged and Shirley doesn't feel safe, So she takes up Self Defence lessons. |
| 18 | Auntie Susu (9 April 90) | Trix Worrell | Auntie Susu returns but this time she is engaged to an 18 years old hunk, William AKA Her Little Willy. And Porkpie is determined to stop the wedding. |
| 19 | Thirty Year Itch (16 April 90) | Trix Worrell | Michael shows off his new girlfriend and it's Desmond and Shirley's wedding anniversary. |
Series 3 (28 October 1991 - 3 February 1992)
Series Three aired on Mondays at 8:30pm.
| Series # | Title | Written by | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 20 | The Head Hunter (28 October 91) | Carol Williams | A lady arrives offering Shirley a job, but she then betrays her by making a pass at Desmond. |
| 21 | The Peckham Pimpernel (4 November 91) | Trix Worrell | An old friend, Neville, turns up informing everyone is now a detective, but someone gives him his first case to solve by vandalising the shop and Neville works out it is one of the regulars in the shop, but who did it? |
| 22 | A Day In The Life (11 November 91) | Trix Worrell | After the siege, London Calling man, Leroy Smart, tells the Ambrose family he would like to do a documentary, which upsets everyone when he tells them this will feature only the Ambrose family and no one else. |
| 23 | Smokeless Fuming (18 November 91) | Trix Worrell | Sean gets a new teacher at school who insists they call her by her first name and Sean suddenly develops a large crush on her |
| 24 | Relative Strangers (25 November 91) | Trix Worrell | Porkpie's long-lost daughter, Denise, turns up out of the blue and when Michael takes her out sight-seeing Porkpie worries that something will happen between them instantly causing sparks to fly between Porkpie, Desmond and Shirley. |
| 25 | Vanity Merchants (2 December 91) | Carol Williams | Gloria and Louise decide to set up their own men's beauty business but when Michael doesn't give them money from the bank to help fund it, that makes them more determined to prove themselves. |
| 26 | The Waiting Game (9 December 91) | Trix Worrell | Desmond and Shirley are waiting to go to a dinner and dance but Porkpie is late, Desmond changes his tie a million times and Louise fears she may be pregnant. |
| 27 | Driving Me Crazy (16 December 91) | Carol Williams | Desmond decides to retake his driving test but this puts everyone in a cast or a coffin. |
| 28 | Daydreams (6 January 92) | Joan Hooley | Desmond catches Shirley looking at house brochures, and despite her assurances that she was just allowing herself a little daydream, insists that they will not move until they retire to Guyana. |
| 29 | Dobbin (13 January 92) | Paul McKenzie and Laurence Goldbourne | Everyone tries to persuade Desmond to give a speech to re-open the children's playground after a child gets hit by a car. Shirley accidentally sells Michael's old toy horse, Dobbin, which makes him accuse Shirley of being a bad parent. |
| 30 | The Prodigal (20 January 92) | Annie Bruce | Michael's flat is being redecorated and shirley makes him stay at the shop which makes everyone annoyed. Desmond complains at every morning never being able to get in his bathroom. |
| 31 | Too Young (27 January 92) | Trix Worrell | Desmond can't sleep at nights so he goes to see Dr. Patricia who prescribes exercise. Desmond gets a tracksuit and trainers that cost about £200 and starts behaving young. When Shirley has a go at him, he goes out and gets drunk. Michael has been ordered to go and keep and eye on him but fails. Desmond gets in a fight with a policeman and Michael tries to split them up but this leads to them both being thrown in a prison cell to cool off. |
| 32 | The Roots Tradition (3 February 92) | Trix Worrell | Michael is fed up with the shop not being run efficiently so he takes control. Shirley and Desmond get worried that he's not appreciating his roots but focusing too much on money. |
Series 4 (5 October - 28 December 1992)
Series Four aired on Mondays at 8:30pm.
| Season # | Title | Written by | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 33 | All Things Bright (5 October 92) | Joan Hooley | Shirley helps out at the church for a Sunday school but she has to take troublesome kids on an outing. One kid spoils it. |
| 34 | Flats, Lies And Videotape (12 October 92) | Paul McKenzie & Laurence Goldbourne | Gloria decides she isn't staying with her bossy parents when Porkpie interferes, but Lee's "You've Been Framed Video" brings them all together again. |
| 35 | Growing Pains (19 October 92) | Trix Worrell | Lee begins to wonder about his parents and can't make up his mind whether or not to find his mother. |
| 36 | Lee's Journey (26 October 92) | Trix Worrell | Lee arrives in Liverpool looking for his mum but she is in Peckham looking for him. And Lee's father is revealed. |
| 37 | Calypso (2 November 92) | Annie Bruce | An old love rival of Desmond's arrives after thought to be dead, Could this be the end of Shirley and Desmond's marriage? |
| 38 | The Kid (9 November 92) | Trix Worrell | Shirley's little friend Daisy stays with the Ambroses for the weekend causing trouble for everyone. But she's not as stupid as she looks after she completes a crossword that no-one else can finish. |
| 39 | Too Red Eye (16 November 92) | Alrick Riley | Desmond tries to outbid his old rival, could Desmond win? |
| 40 | Susu Again (23 November 92) | Trix Worrell | Susu arrives in London and Porkpie is bitten by the love bug, But Susu leaves London engaged to Porkpie. |
| 41 | Can't Buy Me Love (30 November 92) | Annie Bruce | Michael proves he still has a social life and a bit of spice left in him and he falls for a nightclub owner, Rochelle. |
| 42 | Art Attack (7 December 92) | Carol Williams | Gloria falls in love with an artist and Desmond falls in love with art. |
| 43 | Go with the Flo (14 December 92) | Carol Williams | Florence, Matthew's sister, arrives again and is determined that when she heads back to The Gambia Matthew will be going with her to take over the family business. |
| 44 | My Two Sons (21 December 92) | Paul McKenzie and Laurence Goldbourne | Michael is put in charge off redundancies at the bank but he takes it too far. And Sean gets the shop big business. |
| 45 | The Godmother (28 December 92) | Trix Worrell | Beverley has a dream about Michael but when he announces he's engaged to Patricia, Beverley says it's not to be. |
Series 5 (27 September - 20 December 1993)
Series Five aired on Mondays at 8:30pm. Series 5 also saw the start of a new theme tune, with remixed instrumentation and an updated opening sequence.
| Series # | Title | Written by | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 46 | A Class Act (27 September 93) | Annie Bruce | Matthew is organising a concert for an African charity but his top of the bill has let him down. Does Desmond have the answer? |
| 47 | Shimmer And Shine (4 October 93 | Joan Hooley | Desmond is trying to get a customer to enter a hair competition called shimmer and shine. But who will represent Desmond's Salon? |
| 48 | Halcyon Daze (11 October 93) | Trix Worrell | It's Sean's first day at University but is he ready top swap freedom for books? |
| 49 | Lollipop Man (18 October 93) | Alrick Riley | Porkpie has a new job as a lollipop man, and is proud of his position. After a rough day when he accidentally causes a traffic hold up, Porkpie begins to get doubts but later proves himself during a crisis. |
| 50 | Pardnership (25 October 93) | Paul McKenzie and Laurence Goldbourne | Everyone is annoyed when Beverley loses some money belonging to Desmond but this leads to other thinking Beverley has conned them. |
| 51 | Fairy Tales (1 November 93) | Carol Williams | Gloria is angry with a magazine ad but her feisty attitude gives her a job at the magazine firm but she can't decide what to do her ad on. So enter Fairy-godmothers, Porkpie and Matthew. |
| 52 | Love Match (8 November 93) | Paul McKenzie & Laurence Goldbourne | Matthew is in love and wants to get married. Again. |
| 53 | Coughs and Sneezes (15 November 93) | Alrick Riley | Desmond has a cold that is driving the customers away so when he is ordered to stay in bed Tony takes over the shop which has drastic consequences. |
| 54 | Kiss of the Spiderman (22 November 93) | Panji Anoff | Spider persuades Desmond that he could get more customers but its all young teens, which doesn't please Desmond as the peace and quiet is short-lived because of the offensive lyrics in his ragga-rap songs. |
| 55 | Two Lads and a Lady (29 November 93) | Carol Williams | Michael brings home a girlfriend called Melissa but she doesn't bank on Shirley recognising her as Lee's girlfriend, Mel. |
| 56 | Shirley's Sermon (6 December 93) | Joan Hooley | Shirley organises a trip for some kids at the local church but the trip goes wrong when one kid decides to play around with Shirley. |
| 57 | A Matter of Life and Death (13 December 93) | Annie Bruce | Lee has a Mini-accident on his Motorbike but doctors pick up a shadow on his brain and they tell him to fear the worst. |
| 58 | The Patter of Little Feet (20 December 93) | Trix Worrell | Desmond tries to cope with the fact Gloria and Alex are sleeping together. Michael finds his high-flying university friends have all settled down with families and starts to see Mandy in a new light. |
Series 6 (26 September – 19 December 1994)
The sixth and final series aired on Mondays at 8:30pm. Series 6 was the final series prior to the death of actor Norman Beaton who died six days before the final episode was transmitted.
| Series # | Title | Written by | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 59 | Do Me a Favour (26 September 94) | Carol Williams | After Tony has left, Desmond hires a new stylist, Ricky. But he's not as qualified as everyone else had hoped. |
| 60 | Hatchet Job (3 October 94) | Annie Bruce | There are lots of arguments as Porkpie loses a few pages of his memoirs and they are insulting to a man named Desmond but is it the same Desmond who has been his friend for years? Michael and Mandy's new relationship is flourishing until Mandy hears that Michael is planning to sack her. |
| 61 | Georgetown Dreaming (10 October 94) | Panji Anoff | Shirley and Desmond look at the good and bad points of what life would have been like if they had moved back to Guyana. |
| 62 | Demon Barber II (Turbo) (17 October 94) | Laurence Goldbourne | Sean is fed up with Desmond's bossy attitude so he and Spider agree to sell a new video game named The Demon Barber, but Desmond soon finds out it's based on him. |
| 63 | Love Letters (24 October 94) | Joan Hooley | Beverley leaves Cuthbert after she finds some love letters from him. |
| 64 | Planning Permission (31 October 94) | Paul McKenzie | Desmond announces over dinner the plans for the house when he moves back to Guyana but Shirley wants to stay in England, so because he doesn't discuss it with her she stops speaking to him. |
| 65 | The Speech (7 November 94) | Paulette Randall | Desmond has to make a speech for a hairdressing conference but he leaves it behind at the shop and Gloria has posted it with some letters so it's down to the others to re-write a new speech. |
| 66 | Judgment Day (14 November 94) | Patricia Elcock | An American preacher sues Desmond for a bad haircut that happened around 20 years ago. So Lee has to try to change the mind of his lawyer niece but taking her out for dates. |
| 67 | The Return Of Hyacinth Green (21 November 94) | Paul McKenzie | The same old love flame of Porkpie which ruined his first marriage returns and they're at it again but Shirley warns Porkpie and Hyacinth they if they hurt Susu they will pay. Has Hyacinth ruined Porkpie's future again? |
| 68 | Heavy Traffic (28 November 94) | Annie Bruce | Lee falls in love with a sexy aromatherapist who fails to tell him she is also a part-time traffic warden. |
| 69 | When the Cat's Away (5 December 94) | Annie Bruce | Whilst Desmond is away, the shop starts struggling. So Shirley has to call in an enemy of Desmond's but he makes a pass at Shirley so she plots a way to get him out of the shop by telling him he could be under threat from another client. |
| 70 | A Sign Of The Times (12 December 94) | Michael Ellis | Desmond is suffering from executive stress and he gets a new neon sign but since Lee is setting up the sign Desmond isn't going to get much rest. Lee causes a mild electrocution to anyone holding metal at the time, he also causes a power cut and at the end of the episode some of the letters go out so the sign reads DE*MON* instead of Desmond's. |
| 71 | O Little Town Of Peckham (60 Minute Special) (19 December 94) | Carol Williams | It's Christmas and as Gloria is spending it with Alex while Michael and Mandy are spending it with her parents, Shirley and Desmond visit the sick children at the hospital with Porkpie as Santa and Lee as Boom Boom Sally (a woman). |
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