Mad TV (season 5)

Aries Spears invites an audience member to perform a sketch with him onstage; Melanie Griffith (Sullivan) and Antonio Banderas (Kilbane) are interviewed; Lida (Sullivan) and Melina (Wilson) accost Ricky Martin (Ascencio) in his apartment; a parody of Martial Law; Dateline NBC examines a new black teen drama modeled on Dawson's Creek; the Gap troll (Borstein) initiates a new trainee (Sasso); on Buenos Dias, San Diego, hosts and guests speak a mixture of Spanish and English.

Bill Clinton (Sasso) sings about his many trysts in a send-up of the one-hit wonder song "Mambo No. 5"; Spishak promotes a board game; an alien (Kilbane) runs for President; Marvin Tikvah (McDonald) meets an old flame (Collins); Kenny Rogers (Sasso) and Dolly Parton (Borstein) star in a Broadway version of Grease; the background singers for the Time of Your Life theme song reveal that Jennifer Love Hewitt (Totman) made a bad career choice leaving Party of Five; behind the scenes of her new show, Tactical Intelligence Team, Pamela Anderson (Collins) acts like a prima donna.

Featuring: Brooke Totman

Regis Philbin hosts a special political edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire; Tommy Hilfiger (Kilbane) offers Tovah (Wilson) and Belma (Spears) plus-sized clothing on Reality Check; David James Elliott appears on an episode of Reading Caboose; Stuart Larkin (McDonald) goes to the pet shop; a murderer (McDonald) poses as a mannequin; a man (Ascencio) has a dinner date with himself. Q-Tip performs "Vivrant Thing".

Featuring: Nelson Ascencio

Two talk-show hosts (Borstein, Wilson) talk about a foundation for single unwed mothers; Rusty Miller (McDonald) plays arcade trivia with his soon-to-be girlfriend (Collins); Seth Green plays a boss who terrorizes employees with the help of his equally deranged mother (Borstein); Tyra Banks plays one of many club members who use the names of Disney characters as nicknames; while on an alien planet, the son of Dolemite (Spears) calls upon legendary funk group Earth Wind & Fire to stop the forces of earth, wind, and fire. Earth, Wind & Fire perform "September".

Featuring: Brooke Totman

FOX's newest sitcom has Malcolm X (Spears) as the sane man in a trashily casual family; Paul Timberman (Sasso) suffers bloody mishaps while plugging the Wondertool 2000; Lorraine Swanson (Collins) bothers an employee (McDonald) at an all-you-can-eat bar; Michael McDonald and Nicole Sullivan audition for the crime drama Law & Order; a redneck (McDonald) makes an ass of himself at a bar; Tony Shalhoub appears as a cab driver and performs a musical number with Ms. Swan (Borstein); George Carlin appears in a Touched by an Angel parody for those who don't believe in God. The Cure perform "Maybe Someday" and "In Between Days".

Now you can enjoy the atmosphere of movie theaters in your own home courtesy of Spishak Industries; Steven Seagal (Sasso) stars in a movie with an entire scene filmed in letterbox format; Charlton Heston (Kilbane) is a guest on Reality Check; a parody of Girl, Interrupted; lost footage from The Wizard of Oz has Dorothy, The Scarecrow, The Tin Man, and The Cowardly Lion joined by a one-legged slave (Spears); Elvis Presley (Sasso) stars in a musical version of Planet of the Apes; Master P (Spears) and Mystikal (Wilson) play the leads in a remake of Casablanca. Marc Anthony performs "You Sang to Me" and "I Need to Know".

Featuring: Brooke Totman

Celine Dion (Collins) announces her replacement (Borstein) during a farewell tour; William Shatner (Sasso) promotes his own sperm bank; Elvis Presley (Sasso) reminisces with his bandmates (Kilbane, McDonald); the Stick Chicks confront a plutonium thief (Sasso); a Turkish man (Kilbane) posts a personal ad; a woman (Sullivan) interrupts a funeral with incessant phone calls; a crime drama focuses on two cops, one entirely covered in white (Borstein) and another covered in black (Spears). Creed performs "Higher".

Featuring: Nelson Ascencio

Celebrities list their favorite one-hit wonders; Jewel (Collins) hosts her own show; Jack Nicholson (Kilbane), Prince (LaMarr), and Steven Seagal (Sasso) will not let Eddie Murphy (Spears) join their slumber party; a Scotsman (Sasso) reveals antiques' past uses at an Antiques Roadshow; a nerd (Totman) is ecstatic to meet Shania Twain (Collins); during a wedding reception, a woman (Totman) makes out publicly with her lover (Sasso); Allison (Borstein) sings before being promoted to chairwoman; Bunifa (Wilson) goes to trial before Paternity Court.

Featuring: Brooke Totman

The Sopranos are contestants on Family Feud and frequently act impolite; scaredy-cat Mickey's laugh causes another patient (Borstein) to have a heart attack; Lida (Sullivan) and Melina (Wilson) roller-skate into a gym with several buff members; Stuart Larkin (McDonald) joins his mother Doreen (Collins) and her coworker Linda (Sullivan) at work; Mrs. Frizzle and Phoebe from The Magic School Bus receive hostile comments from callers while hosting their own talk show. Goo Goo Dolls perform "Broadway".

Mad TV executive producer Andy Kessler (Kilbane) hires Susan Sarandon as a cast member; Rusty Miller (McDonald) loses his virginity to a hooker (Sarandon); reporter Sam Donaldson (Kilbane) shows home movies and footage of murder attempts of the Zapruder family on This Week; Ms. Swan (Borstein) pitches Swan: The Homecoming to director Garry Marshall; James Brown (Spears) listens to bedtime stories by his mother (Wilson); Lorraine Swanson (Collins) shops for a bed.

Cocoa Latite (Wilson) promotes a breakfast cereal made of afro hair; a modern-day parody of Laverne & Shirley; Aries Spears hosts his own show where he questions Will Sasso and Tony Shalhoub about their love lives; Britney Spears (Sullivan) shoots a video; Catherine O'Hara plays a divorcee on a blind date at a karaoke bar; George Carlin disputes the veracity of the Apollo 13 landing on this installment of Reading Caboose; Judith (Sullivan) and Clyde (McDonald) attend a diving meet and get into arguments with parents.