God Hates Astronauts

• Star Fighter/Star Grass (Bill) - The male lead of the series, the indestructible leader of the Power Persons Five (PP5), Star Fighter's the son of the Cosmicnaut, the greatest warrior from the 12th Galaxy. Star Fighter can fly, shoot energy blasts, and is indestructible. During a fight with John L. Sullivan and his bears, Sullivan punches Star Fighter's head until it is a giant sack filled with gore. The resulting disfigurement strains Star Fighter's marriage with Starrior. When Starrior starts an affair with Texas Tom, whom she met in Montel's couples-counseling group, Star Fighter teams up with Blue Grass, the floating ghost of a cow's head (who haunts Texas Tom), to confront the lovers. Star Fighter's head sack is destroyed during the encounter, so he cuts off the remaining skin and replaces it with Blue Grass.[3] Together, they become Star Grass, the cosmic ghost. Star Grass is crass, selfish, and violent. After Gnarled Winslow kills Super Sullivan, NASA gives Star Grass unlimited funding and full control of the PP5.[6]
• Starrior (Shelley) - The female lead of the series, she's a waitress at a roadside diner until she marries Star Fighter and he gives her a cosmic ring, which gives her the ability to shoot stars. When Star Fighter's head is destroyed by John L. Sullivan, she has a brief affair with Texas Tom. She and Star Grass (the former Star Fighter) reconcile after he saves her from Super Sullivan, and she discovers she's pregnant with Star Fighter's daughter.[3]
• The Impossible (Janet) - Because she put on a magical mask at a carnival mask shop, Janet has gained the ability to do impossible things.[3]
• The Anti-Mugger (Dave) - The Anti-Mugger has no super-powers, just the commitment to stop all muggers and muggings. He refuses Star Grass's order to attack Starrior during the fight at PP5 Headquarters. In protest, the Anti-Mugger quits the PP5. In the second battle against Sullivan, Anti-Mugger is accidentally irradiated by Star Grass, and a third arm grows from his chest.[3] Now he works in a supermarket and lives in an apartment with Craymok and Dr. Professor.[6]
• Craymok - A monster created when circus performers and lovers Clayton 'Da Strong and Mocking Seal (an actual seal) are fused together by a magic hag. He has "primal ape strength and rechargeable laser eyes of some kind."[3] He leaves the PP5 when the Anti-Mugger is fired.[6]

• Gnarled Winslow - When Owl-Kaida rips the arms off former Chicago cop Karuhl Winslow, Texas Tom rushes him to the nearest doctor, a veterinarian, who grafts gorilla arms to the bleeding stumps. Thereafter, Karuhl takes the name Gnarled Winslow. He's a member of Starrior and Texas Tom's team during the fight against Star Grass and the Star Bears at PP5 Headquarters. Later, after he kills Super Sullivan, Gnarled is hired by NASA as a new team member.[3] They give him robot arms.[6]
• Dr. Professor - A NASA employee and friend of Sir Hippothesis since the 1970s, he leads the PP5 until Star Grass is put in charge following Super Sullivan's defeat. In appearance, he is a humanoid rhinoceros as a result of genetic experimentation by the aliens of Spogon Two.[3]
• Sir Hippothesis - A human-hippopotamus hybrid created by Louis Pasteur in 1955, he conquered parts of the world with an army of jungle animals, and is now the head of NASA.[3]
• Time Giraffe - He's a humanoid giraffe in a high-tech suit. He handles Star Grass and Starrior's technical needs and provides them with babysitters.[6]

• King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger - The primary antagonist of the first Image Comics arc, he is a humanoid tiger who eats cheeseburgers, and is the conquering ruler of Planet Crabulon, a planet populated by humanoid crabs.[3] He is prone to fights of violence. Since the 1970s, he has had a treaty with Earth restricting terrestrial space exploration.[6] Along with a resident of Crabulon, King Tiger makes a cameo appearance in The Manhattan Projects #21 drawn by guest artist Ryan Browne.
• Admiral Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger - Sent into deep space recon by his father, King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger, he is killed when an astronaut farmer from Earth in a makeshift spacecraft collides with his ship.[3]
• Pandor - He is a humanoid panda, and royal advisor to King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger.[3]

• 3-D Cowboy - The series's narrator starting with the first Image Comics issue, his presence is as yet unexplained within continuity. In appearance, he resembles a small ghost with a cowboy hat, and is drawn as an anaglyph 3D image. He is invisible to the other characters but occasionally interacts with them physically.[6]
• Starlina - She's the super-powered infant daughter of Star Grass and Starrior.[6]
• Texas Tom - He's Starrior's former lover and Gnarled's friend.[6]
• Crazy Train (Becky) - Becky is a mild-mannered law student, and Karuhl Winslow's mistress, until a purple dildo thrown from a skyscraper hits her in the head, sending her into a coma. Becky later awakens bloodthirsty and reckless as the sword-fighter Crazy Train. During the fight against Star Grass and the Star Bears at PP5 Headquarters, she accidentally kills herself with her own swords.[3] Now she's a ghost.[6]
• John L. Sullivan - The primary antagonist of the first story arc, former boxing champion of the world, Bostonian John L. Sullivan is kidnapped by aliens from Planet Sporgon, but manages to kill their leader, then capture their ship and use it to recruit an army of bears. He plans to conquer Earth with his fighting bears and to reclaim the title of heavyweight boxing champ. He has fought and been killed by the PP5 three times. During the first fight, he destroys Star Fighter's head, then the Impossible breaks his neck. His army of fighting bears, using magic, resurrects him as a zombie, and he attacks PP5 Headquarters. Star Grass blows him up. His mustache flies into orbit and transforms an astronaut into Super Sullivan, a giant winged and horned monster. Super Sullivan is shot and killed by Gnarled Winslow.[3]

The Image series holds an average score of 8.3 out of 10 at the review aggregator website Comic Book Roundup.[7]

ComicsAlliance stated that "other than being held together with two staples and having the words in more or less the right order, [God Hates Astronauts is] weird in every way, with something freshly bizarre on every single page," and compared it to the work of "the Farrelly Brothers in their prime", but emphasized that in addition to "how over-the-top goofy it is", the comic's success is also the result of "a level of craftsmanship (...) that's almost impossible to ignore."[8] Comic Book Resources lauded it as "absolutely crazy in the best ways possible", with writing that was "reminiscent of the works of Pendleton Ward or David Lynch."[9]

On August 30, 2013 Half Acre Beer Company in Chicago released Beer Hates Astronauts, an IPA brewed with Citra hops and Vienna malt, with a label designed by Ryan Browne.[10] Beer Hates Astronauts has been very well received, currently holding a 98 rating on review aggregator sites Beeradvocate and ratebeer.[11][12]