Steampipe Alley

Playing up his comedic persona, Cantone would portray a variety of characters, including:

• Julia Children, a parody of TV chef Julia Child, who gave recipes for snacks that kids could make at home.
• Joe Rivers, supposedly the brother of comedian Joan Rivers.
• Poochano Pavarachi, a parody of Italian tenor Luciano Pavarotti, who sang about his bean-induced flatulence problem and presided over the Out of Gas segment (see below).
• Ciao Aldo, who appeared in mock commercials to promote a line of fragrances that smelled like pasta.
• Ted Ringer, a stereotypically shady used car salesman who appeared in mock commercials delivering a pitch for the deals available on his "Used and Abused Car Lot".
• Frankie D, a parody of Frank Sinatra, who was a teacher that gave lessons to his "class" via song.
• Richie Morales, a neighborhood kid who appeared in the "Something to Think About" segment (see below).
• Sammy Sammy, Jr., a parody of Sammy Davis Jr. who presided over the "Eye In the Pie" segment (see below).
• Rex Can Read, a parody of film critic Rex Reed, who co-hosted the "At the Alley" segment (see below).
• Angelo Antonelli, a stereotypical Italian-American sewer worker who presided over the "Three Sewer Monte" segment (see below).

A wide variety of games and sketches were featured, including:[3][4]

• Three Sewer Monte - Angelo Antonelli (who always pronounced the "three" in the game's title as "tree") chose a member of the audience to pull the string on one of three pipes hanging overhead. If the right one was chosen, it was worth a prize; otherwise, the audience member would have "spiders primavera" (a mix of rubber spiders and spaghetti) dumped on their head.
• The Dream Date Game - A parody of The Dating Game, in which a bachelorette asked questions of three potential bachelors (one of whom was always Cantone in disguise).
• Where In the World? - Kids attempted to identify world landmarks to win prizes.
• Steampipe Theatre - Cantone (as "Cecil B. DeMario") would serve as acting coach to a group of kids as they attempted to re-enact scenes from a well known film or play.
• Cream the Teach - Two kids from a local school were given 30 seconds to throw pies at one of their teachers (whose head was stuck through a prop wall); if they managed to land one directly in the teacher's face, they won a prize for their school.
• Something to Think About - In one of the show's few semi-serious segments, neighborhood kid Richie Morales would relate a story to the audience, typically involving himself and his friends, intended to offer genuine advice on handling real-life situations.
• Eye In the Pie - A kid contestant was given 30 seconds to find Sammy Sammy, Jr's glass eye inside a pie in order to win a prize. For the show's Thanksgiving episodes, this segment became Eye In the Stuffing, with the search taking place inside a bowl of stuffing.
• Out of Gas - Italian tenor Poochano Pavarachi would lead a group of kids in a flatulence-themed Musical chairs variant, where all the chairs were equipped with whoopee cushions; the sole survivor would win a prize.
• The National Gallery of Excuses - Cantone would read various excuses for childhood offenses (not finishing homework, etc.), as sent in by home viewers; those whose excuses were read on-air received a prize.
• At the Alley - A takeoff of TV's At the Movies, snooty critic Rex Can Read would offer a scathing review of a well-known nursery rhyme or fairy tale, which was typically at odds with that of his more agreeable fellow critic, young Bill Getsharassed (a parody of Bill Harris).
• Mystery Guest - Based on the long-running panel game What's My Line?, a blindfolded panel of three audience members attempted to guess the identity of a celebrity by asking "yes" or "no" questions, with each kid allowed to keep asking questions until getting a "no" answer or successfully identifying the guest; doing so was worth a prize. Among the Mystery Guests who appeared in this segment were Morris the Cat, Brice Beckham, and fellow WWOR host Morton Downey Jr.
• Brain Drain - The last segment of each show; inspired by the popular kids' game show Double Dare, two kids competed in a rapid-fire 60-second question round, and the player with the high score won a prize and went on to run an obstacle course for the chance at the day's grand prize.

• Steampipe Alley Opening Sequence
• Steampipe Alley at IMDb