The Bradshaws

Audrey is the stereotypical housewife. She likes entering competitions and winning holidays to Venus[3] and Torimonalisus (she mispronounced Venice and Torremolinos). Audrey is considerably less intelligent than Alf and often shows this through complete lack of common knowledge. For example, she seems to think that the coalman and Michael Morris's Mam are just 'friends', even though the other characters find it obvious that they are having an affair [3] (see Minor Characters). Audrey (seemingly) cooks very badly. When she made steak and kidney pudding for Billy and Alf's tea she left it boiling dry resulting in burnt pastry (which tasted like cardboard according to Alf).[3]

Audrey has a sister called Pamela, whom Alf hates. She always has a best trifle dish and wears an apron.

Alf is the family patriarch and a 'male shoulderless pig' (according to Audrey), he eats corned dog (which he calls it whereas Audrey refers to it by its actual name). The only times where he is obviously nice to Billy is when he is drunk; he smokes and gets Billy to fetch him either: a box of matches (swan vestas), corned beef and much more. His face is never seen and appears to be quite a huge man who has very little money, he sarcastically calls Audrey mock affectionate names such as "sweet little thistle" and hated Poshy/Oswald (see below for more detail).

William "Billy" Bradshaw is perhaps the most popular character in the series. He loves both his parents (though Alf can be very mean to him on occasions), Billy, like Michael, is a puppet who acts as a son to two adults, Billy enjoys going to the flicks and would like a pet of some sort, either a dog, zebra or "Zedgie" (an imaginary animal that Alf made up). Billy is Michael's best friend, Michael is allowed bubble gum, which makes Billy jealous and envious, Billy often tries to get some bubble gum, however his parents refuse to give him some.

Poshy or Oswald was Billy's kitten, Audrey and Billy both originally referred him to a he at first, But after Audrey took the cat down to a woman's house. It was then realised Poshy/Oswald was now a girl, she only appears in three episodes. In the episode 'Open Wide', Poshy escaped from the Bradshaws home and ran to (possibly) Winefred Dutton's and never appeared again, Billy and Audrey were both worried. Alf in a selfish way, was pleased that Poshy had run away. In the TV version of Postman's Knock, Poshy did make a cameo appearance at the end where while Alf was making a depressed Audrey a brew, he saw through the window Oswald with a scruffy tom cat, sitting on the wall. He then jokingly said Hey up! Oswald's found his dad.

The Dog is nameless, it is not a major character in the series but is still used in the house. The dog appears to be a brindle Bull Terrier, the dog usually wears Alf's hats, seeing that he puts them on it; it turns its head to see what goes in the house and appears to "threaten" Poshy, the kitten.

Michael Morris is Billy Bradshaw's best friend, he wears a pair of Clinic Glasses for his lazy eye(or as Alf calls it 'friendly eyes' because they keep looking at each other). Michael is based on a school friend of Buzz Hawkins (who was also called Michael Morris).[4]

Betty Morris is the mother of Michael Morris. She is having an affair with the coal man [3] (although Audrey refuses to believe this). Betty and Audrey often love to go out for a game of housey housey (bingo).

Mr Morris is the Father of Michael Morris (although Michael's real father is the Coalman), Mr Morris is tight-fisted and bald, he has stolen Alf's tools several times.

Uncle Walter is Audrey's Uncle, he got a Gunshot to a 'sensitive' area in The Great War and now drags his leg, he used to go by the stage name Bert Scroginbottom he played the banjolele and wrote his own songs. He was destined for stardom but he accidentally left his kitbag in the NAAFI with all his songs inside and it was stolen by a buck-toothed private named Formby.[5]

Auntie Pamela is Audrey's sister. She is constantly knitting tank tops for Billy and Alf although they never fit properly. As a matter of fact, Alf wears one that she knitted for Billy. Pamela also makes knitted swimming trunks for Billy. Although Pamela and Alf are often trying new ways to annoy each other, there is a rumour that they like each other. In one episode she keeps calling Alf Alfred.

God features in many episodes. According to Alf (who should not be believed as he is an agnostic) the moon is a hole in the sky for God to spy on people and the sun is his reading light. He turns it on for filling in his diary.[3] God seems to show a strong dislike for Alf, as shown by the numerous times that bad things happen to him. This may be because Alf kept some rude magazines that Audrey told Alf to bin.[3]

Whinifred is Billy's crush as he in love letters he is whinging coz he did not get one off her an he refuses to give him the one he got her in the episode love letters

Kevin Kevin is a boy that moves near the bardshaws house he kicked all in the shin coz he kept winding him up