buff the muffin

buff + muffin, for the rhyme in the participle ("buffin' the muffin").

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buff the muffin (third-person singular simple present buffs the muffin, present participle buffing the muffin, simple past and past participle buffed the muffin)

1. (slang, of a woman) To masturbate.
   • 1999, Ericka, in alt.jokes.limericks

     Dear Peter, I need your stuffin'

     Your bod, your rod, and handcuffin'

     While I wait for your ans-

     wer, I'll take off my pants,

     And start in on buffin' the muffin!

   • 2003, Paul Austin, in alt.peeves

     "Dear Miss Manners, myself and my three girlfriends are playing buff the muffin this weekend and we'd like to know who's supposed to peel and slice the cucumbers for salad afterwards?"

   • 2004, Christopher Moore, The Stupidest Angel

     “Molly?” Lena said. “You sound out of breath. Are you okay?”

     [...]

     “Oh, yeah, I’m fine, Lena. Just buffing the muffin. [...]”

• See also Thesaurus:masturbate