Cunnilingus in Halacha

Talmud Bavli (Nedarim p. 20b) quotes the majority of rabbis (who disagree with the fringe view of Yohanan Ben Dahabai) who are lenient by stating that "all that man desires to do with his wife he may" (provided she agrees[1]). The Talmud goes on to bring a parable of a man who makes a meat or fish purchase, that he may cook his purchase in any way he desires.

In a varying text of kallah rabthi as printed in "battei medrashoth"[2] Rabbi Werthheimer notes the significance of the Talmud quoting both meat and fish in its parable;

Since the Torah forbids cooking one's meat in milk, a parable quoting just meat would not suffice as meat has this restrictive element whereas fish has a lesser restrictive element, thus implying that man has an enhanced level of (sexual) freedom with his wife.

The Rambam takes a somewhat lenient approach that permits oral-vulvar stimulation but at the same time discourages its actual practice[3]

The Sifthei Kohen (vol. 2 p. 244) commentary to the Torah points out that the kohen personality is to be extra-scrupulous with oral-vulvar stimulation of his wife when producing offspring, as per Rabbi Yochanan's ben Dhabai's warning that it may cause a physical blemish were his wife to conceive; as a kohen is bounded by the Torah rules of kohanic disqualifications, and may be disqualified from specific Bet HaMikdash services if he has a physical blemish.

Shulchan Aruch (Orach Hayyim ch. 240) takes a stringent view of oral-vulvar stimulation by stating that the transgressor violates the spirit of the Torah verses of והצנע לכת ("Thou shalt walk humbly" -Micah 6:8) and בעבור תהיה יראתו על פניכם לבלתי תחטאו ("So that fear (of God) should be on your faces so that you should not sin" -Exodus 9:16) and of בל תשקצו את נפשותיכם ("Thou should not make your soul despicable" -Leviticus 20:25).

The Remah"s glosses to Shulchan Aruch (Even HaEzer ch. 25) take a more lenient on oral-vulvar stimulation as does Rabbi Yoel Sirkus (the "Bach") who permit it in accordance with halacha, but nonetheless discourage its practice.

Rabbi A. Arbel in his work "Ba'athi Legani" points out that the Rambam disagrees that oral-vulvar stimulation violates the spirit of the verse of בל תשקצו, as the average person – during sexual excitement – is not disgusted at the notion of orally stimulating the vulva.

A similar point of view is written by Rabbi Shlomo Blumenkrantz[4] who states that the Remah, Chelkath Mechokek and the Aruch HaShulchan all agree that one may do with his wife as one desires – including oral-vulvar stimulation – as this is not punishable according to bare-basic halacha. However, his brother, Rabbi Avrohom Blumenkrantz, author of Gefen Porioh, explicitly forbids oral sex.[5]

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