Narcissistic supply

Building on Freud's concept of narcissistic satisfaction[3] and on the work of his colleague the psychoanalyst Karl Abraham,[4] Fenichel highlighted the narcissistic need in early development for supplies to enable young children to maintain a sense of mental equilibrium.[5] He identified two main strategies for obtaining such narcissistic supplies—aggression and ingratiation—contrasting styles of approach which could later develop into the sadistic and the submissive respectively.[6]

A childhood loss of essential supplies was for Fenichel key to a depressive disposition, as well as to a tendency to seek compensatory narcissistic supplies thereafter.[7] Impulse neuroses, addictions including love addiction and gambling, were all seen by him as products of the struggle for supplies in later life.[8] Psychoanalyst Ernst Simmel (1920) had earlier considered neurotic gambling as an attempt to regain primitive love and attention in an adult context.[9]

Psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg considered the malignant narcissistic criminal to be coldly characterised by a disregard of others unless they could be idealised as sources of narcissistic supply.[10] Self psychologist Heinz Kohut saw those with narcissistic personality disorder as disintegrating mentally when cut off from a regular source of narcissistic supply.[11] Those providing supply to such figures may be treated as if they are a part of the narcissist, in an eclipse of all personal boundaries.[12]

In their adolescence, the narcissist internalises a "bad" recipient (usually their parent). They regard feelings that are socially discouraged towards this recipient, including types of aggression such as hatred and envy, among others. These perceptions reinforce the self-image of the narcissist as immoral and corrupt. They eventually create a feeling of self-worth that is dysfunctional. Their self-confidence and self-image become unrealistically low and distorted.[13] In an attempt to repress these "bad" feelings, the narcissist also suppresses all emotions. Their aggression is channeled into fantasies or outlets that are socially lawful like extreme sports, gambling, reckless driving, and shopping. The narcissist sees the environment as a place that is hostile, unstable, unfulfilling, morally wrong, and unpredictable.

Narcissists generally have no inherent sense of self-worth, so they rely on other people, via attention or narcissistic supply, to re-affirm their importance in order to feel good about themselves and maintain their self-esteem.[14] They then turn other people into operations or objects in such a way that others do not pose any emotional threat. This reactive pattern is pathological narcissism.

The narcissist projects a false self to elicit a constant stream of attention or narcissistic supply from others. The false self is an unreal façade or cover they show to the world that involves what the narcissist intends to be seen as - powerful, elegant, smart, wealthy, or well-connected.[15] The narcissist then 'collects' reactions to this projected false self from their environment, which may consist of their spouse, family, friends, colleagues, business partners, and peers. If the expected narcissistic supply (adulation, admiration, attention, fear, respect, applause, or affirmation) is not forthcoming – they are demanded or extorted by the narcissist.[14] Money, compliments, a media appearance, a sexual conquest are all merely different forms of the same thing to a narcissist - narcissistic supply.[16]

The attention they receive from the "supply source" is essential to the narcissist's survival, without it they would die (physically or metaphorically) because their fragile ego depends on it to handle their unstable self-esteem. There are distinctive forms of narcissistic supply to attain them with two separate sources. Scholars and researchers generally recognise two main kinds of narcissistic supply: primary, acquired through more publicly directed forms of attention, and secondary, generally acquired through attention attained through interpersonal relationships.[17]