You Hurt My Feelings (2023 film)

Beth is a successful memoirist and teacher, who has recently written her first fiction novel. She is in a loving marriage with Don (Tobias Menzies), a therapist. Don struggles with feeling self-conscious over aging and struggles with his patients, many of whose problems he is not engaged with.

Beth's agent tells her that her novel needs multiple revisions causing her to doubt her work. She is reassured by Don, who has read a draft of the work and suggests she seek out other representation with someone who is more enthusiastic about her.

While out shopping for socks, Don confesses to Mark, Beth's brother-in-law, that he does not like Beth's novel but feels he cannot be honest with Beth, a conversation which Beth inadvertently overhears, when Beth and her sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins) enter the store to greet their husbands. Beth's faith in their relationship is shaken. Her sister, Sarah, Mark's wife, tries to reassure her that she occasionally has to lie to her husband, an actor, about his performances. This does not reassure Beth.

Beth continues to struggle and acts out towards Don. At Mark's birthday dinner, she finally reveals to Don that she overheard what he said. Though he tries to tell Beth she was missing context, he eventually reveals that he does not like her book but did not want to discourage her as it was only his opinion.

When Eliot, Beth and Don's son, accuses Beth of putting pressure on him to be extraordinary, Don and Beth finally talk out their differences. They talk about white lies they have told each other and Beth realizes that part of the way she reacts is due to the verbal abuse her controlling father put her through as a child. She seeks out a new agent who is enthusiastic about her work.

One year later, Beth's novel is published. Don and Beth, now reconciled, celebrate their anniversary. Don decides to go through a major change which is under eye surgery and Beth lies to him and tell him he's going to look great.

• Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Beth, a novelist who also teaches writing classes
• Tobias Menzies as Don, a therapist and Beth's husband
• Michaela Watkins as Sarah, Beth's sister
• Arian Moayed as Mark, Sarah's husband
• Owen Teague as Eliot, Beth and Don's son
• Jeannie Berlin as Georgia, Beth and Sarah's mother
• Amber Tamblyn as Carolyn
• David Cross as Jonathan
• Zach Cherry as Jim
• Sarah Steele as Frankie
• LaTanya Richardson Jackson as Sylvia
• Sunita Mani as Dr. Allen
• Deniz Akdeniz as Vince
• Clara Wong as Ali[4]

In October 2021, it was announced Julia Louis-Dreyfus would star in and produce the film, then titled Beth and Don, with Nicole Holofcener directing from a screenplay she wrote.[5] In May 2022, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, Owen Teague, Jeannie Berlin, David Cross and Amber Tamblyn joined the cast of the film.[6]

Principal photography began in May 2022, in New York City.[7] Cinematographer Jeffrey Waldron said, "I worked to build a natural, inviting New York look that didn't distract from the unfolding story, but brought cinematic punctuation to its important human moments". To achieve this, he used an Arri Alexa Mini camera with custom-adjusted Panavision Primo lenses. In order to make the film feel "filmic, human and handmade", he further softened and reduced contrast in prep with the help of a custom film emulation LUT.[8]

A24 picked up the U.S. distribution rights at the 2021 American Film Market.[9] The film premiered on January 22, 2023, at the Sundance Film Festival.[10] It was released theatrically on May 26, 2023.[11]

• Official website
• You Hurt My Feelings at IMDb 
• You Hurt My Feelings at Rotten Tomatoes