Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a colloquialism, loosely defined as manipulating someone so as to make them question their own reality.[1][2] The term derives from the title of the 1944 film Gaslight, though the term did not gain popular currency in English until the mid-2010s.[3]

The term may also be used to describe a person (a "gaslighter") who presents a false narrative to another group or person, thereby leading them to doubt their perceptions and become misled, disoriented or distressed. Oftentimes this is for the gaslighter's own benefit. Normally, this dynamic is possible only when the audience is vulnerable, such as in unequal power relationships, or fearful of the losses associated with challenging the false narrative.

Etymology

Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman, and Joseph Cotten in the 1944 film Gaslight

The term "gaslighting" derives from the title of the 1944 film Gaslight,[4][5][6] in which a husband uses trickery to convince his wife that she is mentally unwell so he can steal from her.[7] The title refers to the gaslight illumination of the house which seems to waver whenever the husband leaves his wife alone at home. The term "gaslighting" itself is not in the screenplay or mentioned in the movie. The 1944 film is a remake of the 1940 film of the same name, which in turn is based on the 1938 thriller play, set in the Victorian era, Gas Light.

Gaslighting was largely an obscure or esoteric term until the mid-2010s, when it broadly seeped into English lexicon.[3] According to the American Psychological Association, it "once referred to manipulation so extreme as to induce mental illness or to justify commitment of the gaslighted person to a psychiatric institution but is now used more generally".[1] The term is now defined in Merriam-Webster as "psychological manipulation" to make someone question their "perception of reality" leading to "dependenc[e] on the perpetrator".[2]

The New York Times first used the common gerund form, gaslighting, in Maureen Dowd's 1995 column. However, there were only nine additional uses in the following twenty years.[3] The American Dialect Society recognized the word gaslight as the "most useful" new word of the year in 2016.[8] Oxford University Press named gaslighting as a runner-up in their list of the most popular new words of 2018.[9]

General techniques of gaslighting

Gaslighters have many techniques they use to gaslight their victims such as obfuscation. Besides obfuscation, other methods used include:[10]

Withholding

Abuser pretends not to understand the victim.

Countering

Abuser will vehemently call into question a victim's memory in spite of the victim having remembered things correctly.

Blocking and diverting

Abuser again changes the conversation from the subject matter to questioning the victim's thoughts and controlling the conversation.

Trivializing

Abuser makes the victim believe his or her thoughts or needs aren't important.

Forgetting and denial

Abuser pretends to forget things that have really occurred; the abuser may deny or delay things like promises that have been made that are important to the victim. This denying or delaying, while everyone does it, in the gaslighter occurs on a regular basis in the absence of real external limitations. The gaslighter may make up or create artificial barriers to allow him/herself to deny or delay that which is important to the victim.

An example of this would be having hundreds of thousands in assets, but spending all disposable income before using the income on someone who is dependent on that income. Simultaneously verbally stating they wish to financially help the victim but for years saying they are 'out of money'. This may extend to sexual matters as well.

In psychiatry and psychology

"Gaslighting" is occasionally used in clinical literature but is considered a colloquialism by the American Psychological Association.[1][11]

The research paper "Gaslighting: A Marital Syndrome" (1988) includes clinical observations of the impact on wives after their reactions were mislabeled by their husbands and male therapists.[12] In a case study published in 1977, Lund and Gardiner reviewed a case of paranoid psychosis in an elderly female who was reported to have recurrent episodes, apparently induced by the staff of the institution where the patient was a resident.[13] Other experts have noted values and techniques of therapists can be harmful as well as helpful to clients (or indirectly to other people in a client's life).[14][15][16]

In the 1996 book Gaslighting, the Double Whammy, Interrogation and Other Methods of Covert Control in Psychotherapy and Analysis, Theo L. Dorpat, M.D. recommends non-directive and egalitarian attitudes and methods on the part of clinicians,[15]:225 and "treating patients as active collaborators and equal partners".[15]:246 He writes, "Therapists may contribute to the victim's distress through mislabeling the [victim's] reactions. [...] The gaslighting behaviors of the spouse provide a recipe for the so-called 'nervous breakdown' for some [victims, and] suicide in some of the worst situations."[15] Dorpat also cautions clinicians about the unintentional abuse of patients when using interrogation and other methods of covert control in Psychotherapy and Analysis, as these methods can subtly coerce patients rather than respect and genuinely help them.[15]:31–46

Some psychologists are not encouraged by this increased international awareness of the dangers of gaslighting, warning that overuse of the term could dilute its potency and downplay the serious health consequences of such abuse.[9]

In self-help and amateur psychology

Gaslighting is a term used in self-help and amateur psychology to describe a dynamic that can occur in personal relationships (romantic or parental) and in workplace relationships.[17][18] Gaslighting involves two parties; the "gaslighter", who persistently puts forth a false narrative, and the "gaslighted", who struggles to maintain their individual autonomy.[19][20] Typically, gaslighting is effective only when there is an unequal power dynamic or when the gaslighted has given the gaslighter their respect.[21]

Gaslighting is different from genuine relationship disagreement, which is both common and important in relationships. Gaslighting is distinct in that:

  • one partner is consistently listening and considering the other partner's perspective;
  • one partner is consistently negating the other's perception, insisting that they are wrong, or telling them that their emotional reaction is irrational or dysfunctional.

Gaslighting typically occurs over a long duration and not on a one-off basis.[22] Over time, the listening partner may exhibit symptoms often associated with anxiety disorders, depression, or low self-esteem. Gaslighting differs from genuine relationship disagreement in that one party is manipulating the perceptions of the other.[21]

Motivations

Gaslighting is a way to control the moment, stop conflict, ease anxiety, and feel in control. However, it often deflects responsibility and tears down the other person.[21] Some may gaslight their partners by denying events, including personal violence.[23]

Learned behavior

Gaslighting is a learned trait. A gaslighter is a student of social learning. They witness it, experience it themselves, or stumble upon it, and see that it works, both for self-regulation and coregulation.[21] Studies have shown that gaslighting is more prevalent in couples where one or both partners have maladaptive personality traits[24] such as traits associated with short-term mental illness (e.g., depression), substance induced illness (e.g., alcoholism), mood disorders (e.g., bipolar), anxiety disorders (e.g., PTSD), personality disorder (e.g., BPD, NPD, etc.), neurodevelopmental disorder (e.g., ADHD), or combination of the above (i.e., comorbidity) and are prone to and adept at convincing others to doubt their own perceptions.[25]

Habilitation

It can be difficult to extricate oneself from a gaslighting power dynamic:

  • Those who gaslight must attain greater emotional awareness and self-regulation,[21] or;
  • Those being gaslighted must learn that they don't need others to validate their reality and they need to gain self-reliance and confidence in defining their own reality.[26][21]

In medicine

"Medical gaslighting" is an informal term sometimes used to describe when a medical professional does not know how to resolve a patient's condition or want to get involved in a complex situation and downplays a patient’s concerns about their health or tries to persuade them that their symptoms are imaginary. Medical gaslighting is an exploitation of trust.[22]

Health facilities describe patients as Somatic.[13][14][16] This formula and procedure of hospital facilities creates a power dynamic in medicine which results in neglect of a patient's care.[18] Many patients will suffer from failure to continue to find treatment for symptoms.[27][24]

  1. Insider, "Patient's Say Doctors Deny Symptoms."[28]
  2. The Washington Post, "Women are sharing their 'medical gaslighting’ stories. Now what?"[29]
  3. Good Morning America Medical Alert, "Data shows women, people of color affected most by 'medical gaslighting.'"[30]
  4. U.S. News & World Report, "'Medical Gaslighting': Are You a Victim?[31]
  5. Medical Alert April 5, 2022 by CNBC titled "Millions of Americans affected by 'medical gaslighting' each year.[32]

In politics

Gaslighting is more likely to be effective when the gaslighter has a position of power.[28]

In the 2008 book State of Confusion: Political Manipulation and the Assault on the American Mind, the authors contend that the prevalence of gaslighting in American politics began with the age of modern communications:

To say gaslighting was started by... any extant group is not simply wrong, it also misses an important point. Gaslighting comes directly from blending modern communications, marketing, and advertising techniques with long-standing methods of propaganda. They were simply waiting to be discovered by those with sufficient ambition and psychological makeup to use them.[33]

The term has been used to describe the behavior of politicians and media personalities on both the left and the right sides of the political spectrum.[33] Some examples include:

  • "Gaslighting" has been used to describe Russia's global relations. While Russian operatives were active in Crimea in 2017, Russian officials continually denied their presence and manipulated the distrust of political groups in their favor.[34]
  • American journalists widely used the word "gaslighting" to describe the actions of Donald Trump during the 2016 US presidential election and his term as president.[35][36][37][38][39]
  • Columnist Maureen Dowd described the Bill Clinton administration's use of the technique in subjecting Newt Gingrich to small indignities intended to provoke him to make public complaints that "came across as hysterical" in 1995.[40]
  • "Gaslighting" has been used to describe state implemented psychological harassment techniques used in socialist East Germany during the 1970s and 80s. The techniques were used as part of the Stasi's (the state security service's) decomposition methods, which were designed to paralyze the ability of hostile-negative (politically incorrect or rebellious) people to operate without unjustifiably imprisoning them, which would have resulted in international condemnation.[41]
  • Comedian Jimmy Dore used "gaslighting" to describe why "The Squad" did not vote as a block on Medicare for All.[42]

Broader use

The word "gaslighting" is often used incorrectly to refer generally to conflicts and disagreements.[22][11][43] According to Robin Stern, PhD, co-founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, "Gaslighting is often used in an accusatory way when somebody may just be insistent on something, or somebody may be trying to influence you. That’s not what gaslighting is."[11]

Some mental health experts have expressed concern that the broader use of the term is diluting its usefulness and may make it more difficult to identify the specific type of abuse described in the original definition.[9][22][43]

One of the earliest uses of the term in television was in a 1974 episode of The Six Million Dollar Man. In the second season episode, "The Seven Million Dollar Man" Steve Austin accuses Oscar Goldman, Rudy Wells and nurse Carla Peterson of gaslighting him after all three try to convince him that an incident he saw did not happen.[44]

In 1994, the character Roz Doyle uses the phrase in "Fortysomething", an episode of the American television sitcom Frasier.[45]

In a 2000 interview, the writers of the song "Gaslighting Abbie" (Steely Dan album Two Against Nature) explain that the lyrics were inspired by a term they heard in New York City, "gaslighting", which they believed was derived from the 1944 movie Gaslight. "It is about a certain kind of mind [manipulation] or messing with somebody’s head".[46]

During the period 2014–2016, BBC Radio 4's soap opera The Archers aired a two-year long storyline about Helen who was subjected to slow-burning coercive control by her bullying, manipulative husband, Rob.[47] The show shocked the United Kingdom, sparking a national discussion about domestic abuse.[48]

In the 2016 film The Girl on the Train, Rachel suffered from severe depression and alcoholism. The storyline evolved around Rachel's blackouts as her husband consistently tells her that she had done terrible things that she didn't actually do.[49]

In 2017, the phrase was used to describe Harvey Weinstein's extraordinary measures (see Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse cases § Gaslighting) to gaslight the women he sexually preyed upon, the journalists investigating their stories, and the public.[50][51][52][53][54]

In 2018, NBC's soap opera Days of Our Lives had a months-long storyline about retaliation and Gabi's systematic efforts to have her best friend Abigail committed into a mental health care facility. In the end, Gabi gleefully confessed to Abigail what she had done to her and why.[55]

In 2019, CNN's nightly news commentary, Anderson Cooper 360°, aired 24 episodes about the lies being told by politicians in the news. The segments were named "Keeping Them Honest: We'll Leave The Gaslight On For You, Part __".[21]

In philosophy

Some individuals cannot tolerate disagreement with or criticism of their worldview from important individuals in their life (e.g., friends, loved ones, romantic partners). An effective way to neutralize the possibility of criticism is to undermine others' conception of themselves as an autonomous locus of thought, judgment, and action. This effectively reduces the target's capacity to criticize or respond independently.[56]

See also

  • Deception/lying: to limit relationship harm
  • Mind games: struggle for relationship superiority
  • Superiority complex: defense for feeling inferior
  • Naivete: favors moral idealism over pragmatism
  • Insecure attachment: desperate to hold onto relationships
  • Manipulation: exploiting for personal gain
  • Confidence trick: using trust to defraud
  • Psychotherapy issues: unintended treatment problems
  • Political spin: political propaganda tactic
  • Reality distortion field: Steve Jobs' particular ability to convince others of virtually anything

References

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