Messed up with the love of your life and wondering how to make things okay again? First, forgive yourself—we all make mistakes sometimes. To fix your relationship, send them an apology—if not in-person, then by leaving them a note or sending them a text. But what should you say? We’re here to help with this guide to the best apology messages for your love.

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“I’m really sorry, my love.”

  1. Make your “sorry” sweeter by using a romantic name. Calling your love “sweetheart,” “beautiful,” or “my darling” can remind them of how you care for them.
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“I can’t express to you how sorry I am.”

  1. Let them know your feelings go beyond words. If you don’t even know how to find the right words to express how you feel, let them know.
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“I owe you an apology baby.”

  1. This is a great intro to a longer apology. You can use this phrase to let your love know you’ve been thinking a lot about what happened.
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“I made a huge mistake.”

  1. Showing regret is a crucial part of an apology. Let your boyfriend or girlfriend know that you wish you could take back what you did.[2]
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“Can you forgive me?”

  1. Asking for forgiveness is important when apologizing. By asking for forgiveness, you put the ball in your partner’s court, which means that you can both come back to the relationship without leftover resentment.[3]
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“I promise to be better.”

  1. Give your love a sign this won’t happen again. It can be tough to forgive someone if you think that they’ll just repeat the same mistakes in the future, so let them know that you’re committed to change.
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“You deserve a good partner. I know I can be that person.”

  1. Show your love you value their happiness. A message like this tells them that they have your respect, and you’re ready to work to prove it to them.
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“To keep you in my life, I know I have to work.”

  1. This message shows you don’t take them for granted. A promise to change can mean a lot more when you let your love know that you’re aware of the risks if you don’t change for them.
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“I’ll do anything to make it up to you.”

  1. Offering to repair the relationship means a lot. Let her know that her forgiveness is important to you, and that you’re willing to do whatever is needed to make things work.[4]
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“Tell me what you need from me to make things better.”

  1. Be more direct about what they need from you. This kind of open communication can make your chances of repairing the relationship a lot stronger, so don’t be afraid to be straightforward.
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“Nothing hurts me more than knowing I hurt you.”

  1. Empathy can make an apology feel more meaningful. When you express empathy, you’re showing your boyfriend or girlfriend that you feel the pain that they feel.[5]
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“When I think about how you must feel I can’t sleep.”

  1. Show your love their feelings matter to you. This kind of empathy is something that will mean a lot to your boyfriend or girlfriend, so don’t be afraid to show your vulnerable side.
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“I don’t think I can get over making you cry.”

  1. Let your love know that you’re ashamed. Your love might be feeling uncomfortable about how they reacted earlier, so a message like this shows them that you’re more embarrassed than they are.
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“I know that I’ve treated you poorly.”

  1. Tell your love that you’re aware of your actions. Your boyfriend or girlfriend needs to hear that you see the hurt you’ve caused them, so give them a sign that you recognize this.
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“Being disloyal to you was the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

  1. If disloyalty is the issue, let your love know you feel responsible. Being specific about what you did wrong can show your boyfriend or girlfriend that you’re taking accountability for your mistakes.
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“You didn’t deserve being called those names last night.”

  1. After a fight, try this message. Many of us say things we regret when we’re angry, and it’s important to let your love know that those aren’t your true feelings.
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“It was cruel to end our relationship over something so small.”

  1. If you regret breaking up with your love, send them this. Acknowledging that you hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend by breaking up and that you’ve reconsidered your reasons is a good start to fixing the relationship.
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“I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you.”

  1. Take responsibility for what you did. If something else was at play, you can mention the circumstances behind why you acted the way you did. If you think, however, that your explanations might make you sound defensive, it’s better to leave them out.[7]
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“I’ve been depressed, and I haven’t treated you right.”

  1. If mental health has messed with your relationship, tell them. While mental health isn’t an acceptable excuse for treating someone badly, it can give your actions some more context.
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“I might not deserve your forgiveness. But can I ask for it anyway?”

  1. If the falling-out is more serious, try this instead. This request for forgiveness shows that you understand the gravity of what happened, which can make your love more willing to keep your relationship going.
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“I know it’s not entirely my choice to put this behind us.”

  1. Tell your love you get that forgiveness is a two-way street. This is another way of asking for forgiveness and can remind your love that they have agency in this relationship.
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“Your wisdom and motivation inspire me to be a better person.”

  1. Let them know that they make you better. A good relationship means both partners grow, and sending a message like this can be a reminder that this relationship is worth saving.
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“I admire you.”

  1. Show your love that you see the best parts of them. Reassuring them that you admire them for their good qualities even after bad moments can mean a lot.
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“You are the kindest and most generous person I know.”

  1. Giving them a compliment shows appreciation. Your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to feel cared for and valued by you, and a specific and genuine compliment can do just that.
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“Even if I don’t always express it, I care about you more than anything.”

  1. Tell your love your actions don’t match your feelings. Telling them, in words, that they’re important to you despite what has happened between you can convince them that this relationship is worth it.
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“I love you so much. I’ve been blessed to go through life with you.”

  1. Reminding them you love them is important. Love is a really powerful force, and your boyfriend or girlfriend likely values having yours. A simple “I love you” can mean a lot to them.
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“My love for you is an ocean—deep, but not always smooth sailing.”

  1. This metaphor is more specific to your relationship issues. Sending a message like this can remind your boyfriend or girlfriend that love isn’t always easy, but it is an enormous and powerful force.
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“I goofed up.”

  1. A casual apology is good for when things aren’t so serious. If you know that your love isn’t so hurt by what happened, it’s okay to send an apology that’s more low-key. Be sure that what happened wasn’t a big deal to either of you before sending a casual apology—you don’t want to sound like you don’t take your love’s feelings seriously.

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How can you apologize to your girlfriend?
    Patti Novak Williams
    Patti Novak Williams
    Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Patti Novak Williams is a Professional Matchmaker in Las Vegas, Nevada. With over 20 years of experience, Patti specializes in working with clients one on one to help them find love. She has helped match hundreds of couples, engagements, and marriages. Patti was the star of the critically acclaimed A&E series “Confessions of a Matchmaker.” She has been featured in the New York Times, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, TODAY with Hoda and Kathy Lee, The Rachael Ray Show, CBS’ The Early Show, CNN, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, The Nate Berkus Show, and Fox’s The Morning Show With Mike & Juliet. Patti published a book in 2008 with Random House titled “Get Over Yourself!: How to Get Real, Get Serious, and Get Ready to Find True Love.”
    Patti Novak Williams
    Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    If you feel you have offended your girlfriend, you can offer a sincere apology by saying, I am sorry. I did not mean to insult you or hurt your feelings.
  • Question
    What are some common mistakes you should avoid while flirting?
    Patti Novak Williams
    Patti Novak Williams
    Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Patti Novak Williams is a Professional Matchmaker in Las Vegas, Nevada. With over 20 years of experience, Patti specializes in working with clients one on one to help them find love. She has helped match hundreds of couples, engagements, and marriages. Patti was the star of the critically acclaimed A&E series “Confessions of a Matchmaker.” She has been featured in the New York Times, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, TODAY with Hoda and Kathy Lee, The Rachael Ray Show, CBS’ The Early Show, CNN, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, The Nate Berkus Show, and Fox’s The Morning Show With Mike & Juliet. Patti published a book in 2008 with Random House titled “Get Over Yourself!: How to Get Real, Get Serious, and Get Ready to Find True Love.”
    Patti Novak Williams
    Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Some mistakes you should avoid while flirting are talking about sex and exes. Besides this, you should follow the communication rules.
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References

About This Article

Patti Novak Williams
Co-authored by:
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Patti Novak Williams and by wikiHow staff writer, Nihal Shetty. Patti Novak Williams is a Professional Matchmaker in Las Vegas, Nevada. With over 20 years of experience, Patti specializes in working with clients one on one to help them find love. She has helped match hundreds of couples, engagements, and marriages. Patti was the star of the critically acclaimed A&E series “Confessions of a Matchmaker.” She has been featured in the New York Times, the New York Daily News, the New York Post, and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, TODAY with Hoda and Kathy Lee, The Rachael Ray Show, CBS’ The Early Show, CNN, The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, The Nate Berkus Show, and Fox’s The Morning Show With Mike & Juliet. Patti published a book in 2008 with Random House titled “Get Over Yourself!: How to Get Real, Get Serious, and Get Ready to Find True Love.” This article has been viewed 134,449 times.
18 votes - 91%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: March 14, 2022
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