How to Convince Your Man to Get a Cat

Last Updated: February 19, 2023 References

Have you decided that a cat is the perfect pet for you, but you're unsure about how to convince your significant other? The idea of initiating this conversation may seem stressful and you may also worry that it will negatively impact your relationship. However, if you take the time to explore why you want a cat, prepare your research, and approach the discussion with your significant other carefully, you will have a much better chance of persuading your man to get a cat. Even if you both decide you're not ready to make a long-term commitment to having a cat, there are also alternate options you can consider to get your kitty fix and help cats in your community.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Exploring Why You Want a Cat

1
Identify why you want a cat. Before you can convince your man to get a cat, you need to be able to identify your reasons for wanting one in the first place. Think critically about why you want a cat, and ask yourself these questions:^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Why do you think a cat is the best option?
- What is your experience with cats?
- How long have you wanted a cat?
- Why is now a good time to have a cat?
- Will there be a better time to have a cat?
2
Ask yourself if your expectations are realistic. Many people thinking of getting a pet tend to romanticize what it will be like. It's easy to imagine all the sweet and cuddly moments you hope to enjoy with a kitty, but you also need to be realistic and think about the drawbacks of owning a cat.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- If you are going to convince your man to get a cat, you need to make sure you are both prepared for the reality of owning one.
- Animals can make a mess and cats are no different from other pets. At some point you will clean up cat poop, pee, and vomit.
- Remember, you will have to clean out the litter box regularly.
- It takes time and money to groom your cat and treat them for fleas and any illnesses that might develop.
- Cats are great hunters. Are you going to be upset if your cat kills birds, mice, lizards, or bugs, and then brings it inside your house or apartment?
- Cats have different personalities, and may not act the way you imagine they will.
Advertisement
3
Make sure you have the time and money to care for a cat. Like any pet, cats require time, money, and energy to care for. Your man is more likely to agree to having a cat if you can show that you will be able to support and care for it.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- If you and your significant other go out of town frequently or work long hours, how will you ensure a cat is taken care of? Develop a plan so you are prepared to discuss it with your significant other.
- Make a spreadsheet and total up the potential expenses of owning a cat. Factor in the cost of food, toys, litter, supplies, medication, and vet visits. Don't forget to account for potential emergencies that require more expensive medical procedures.
- If you know a vet in your area, you can call and ask them about the price of regular visits and medications.
4
Think about why your significant other may not want a cat. Before you rush into a conversation with your significant other about getting a cat, think carefully about why they may be reluctant. While you will need to ask them directly how they feel about it, thinking about their potential concerns beforehand can make the conversation feel less confrontational.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- How does your man view cats, and how are cats viewed in his cultural background?
- What does he know about cats?
- Has he had other pets?
- Is your man allergic to cats?
- Would he prefer another kind of pet?
5
Be sure that a cat is the right pet for your family. Think about how the cat will fit in with the other members of your family.^{[5]
X
Research source}^{[6]
X
Research source}
- For example, how will a cat interact with other pets in your household?
- Do you have children who might have trouble being gentle with a cat or are scared of animals?
- Can your family make a long-term commitment to owning a cat. Cats typically live for 15 years or more.
- Will your housing situation allow for a cat? Some apartments and rental homes do not permit cats.
6
Know where you might get a cat. It's also a good idea to think about where you might get a cat before you discuss it with your significant other. Consider the options below, and think about what may be right for you, your man, and your family:^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Adopt a cat from a shelter or rescue agency. These cats are looking for great homes and are often more affordable upfront since they have been given shots, spayed or neutered, and have had initial vet care. At the same time, they may also have special needs or health issues.
- Buy a cat from a reputable breeder. If you have a specific type of cat in mind or want a purebred cat, then look for a responsible breeder online or in your area. Breeders will be able to talk with you about the cat's personality, needs, and the potential benefits of a specific breed.
- Pet stores often sell cats, but look for one that works with a local shelter or rescue organization so you know the cats are healthy, well-socialized, and not from a kitten mill.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Discussing Getting a Cat with Your Man

1
Start discussing the possibility of getting a cat. If you don't broach the topic, you are going to have a hard time talking with your man about getting a cat.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- Be upfront about what you want and don't try to manipulate your husband or boyfriend into getting a cat. Threatening to get a cat without their agreement or lying about the matter, may damage your relationship and make it more difficult for you to convince him why you should get a cat.
- Since you've spent some time reflecting on why you want a cat and think it is a good fit, share your research and findings with your significant other. He will be impressed that you took the time to really consider the benefits, drawbacks, and reality of owning a cat.
2
Listen to how your man feels about getting a cat. Now that you've explained how you feel about getting a cat, it's essential for you to listen to your significant other's feelings and concerns. His feelings are just as important as yours, and he might bring up some points that you had not considered.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- In order to persuade someone, you need to acknowledge and address their misgivings.
- Don't interrupt him while he is talking. This won't encourage him to communicate, and the conversation could become unpleasant and confrontational.
3
Try to address any concerns. When you understand your significant other's concerns or reluctance about getting a cat, you will be better equipped to address these concerns and come to a resolution on the subject together.
- For example, if your man has allergies, you could explore adopting a specific breed that produces fewer allergens than others. Here are a few of the breeds considered “hypoallergenic”: Siberian, Balinese, bengal, sphynx, Cornish rex, Devon rex, and siamese.^{[10]
  X
  Research source}
- If your significant other is worried about getting scratched, talk with him about trying to find a friendly cat or even working with a cat trainer to prevent problem behaviors.^{[11]
  X
  Research source}
- Tell your man that cats can be trained just like dogs. You can use positive reinforcement to stop unwanted behaviors.^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Brian Bourquin, DVM
  Veterinarian
  Expert Interview. 31 January 2020.}
4
Explain the benefits of having a cat. If your significant other hasn't spent much time around cats or doesn't care for them, you can educate them and discuss the great things about owning a cat. Here are a few things you can mention:^{[13]
X
Research source}^{[14]
X
Research source}^{[15]
X
Research source}^{[16]
X
Research source}
- Cats are cuddly.
- Cats are independent.
- Cats reduce anxiety and stress.
- They bathe themselves.
- They don't require extensive potty training.
- They can take care of the bug and rodent population around your home.
- Cats spend much of their time sleeping.
- Cats offer companionship.
- Cats improve your health.
- Cats teach you and your family responsibility.
- Owning a cat can increase your bond with each other.
- They can help people be less self absorbed.
5
Spend time around cats together. If your man hasn't spent much time around cats or is concerned about having one, it can be a good idea to spend some time together around cats. He might just need a good introduction to a nice cat, and this experience may change his perspective on getting a cat.^{[17]
X
Research source}
- Visit friends who have a cat, or offer to “cat-sit.”
- Go to an animal shelter and play with some of the cats there.
- Contact a rescue group and offer to help out together so you can spend time around the cats and learn about how to care for them.
6
Be willing to compromise. To have a successful conversation about getting a cat, you and your significant other both need to be willing to compromise.^{[18]
X
Research source}^{[19]
X
Research source}
- For example, if he is open to the idea of getting a cat but would like to wait a little while, you could agree on a timetable.
- If there's another pet he would like, be willing to accommodate his desire in exchange for getting a cat.
- Work together to pick a breed, sex, and name for your cat. You'll both feel more invested if you make these decisions together.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Considering Alternate Options

1
Agree to be the one primarily responsible for the cat. If your significant other does not want to have a cat, he might be open to it if you are willing to be the cat's primary caregiver. If his main objection to having a cat is the responsibility of taking care of it, this might be a good compromise.^{[20]
X
Research source}
- If he agrees to this, his feelings for the cat might change once they bond.
2
Consider volunteering at a shelter. If your man is unwilling to compromise about having a cat in the home, you can still spend time with cats and help care for them. Consider volunteering at a shelter in your area.^{[21]
X
Trustworthy Source
The Humane Society of the United States
National organization devoted to the promotion of animal welfare
Go to source}
- You'll be helping cats that are in particular need of love, affection, and care.
3
Look into fostering cats. If your significant other doesn't want to make a long-term commitment to a cat, there are other options available. Work with animal rescue groups or cat-rescue agencies to provide a temporary foster home for a cat in need.^{[22]
X
Research source}
- Sometimes the agency or rescue group will be able to provide food and medical care, so it is not as much of a burden on your finances.
- Fostering a cat is usually a short-term commitment until the agency or rescue group locates a permanent home.
4
Offer to cat-sit for friends, family, and neighbors. If it doesn't seem like owning a cat is a possibility at this time, you can still get your kitty fix and help out friends, family, and neighbors by being willing to take care of their cats when they are out of town or unavailable.
5
Research other pets. Your partner might be opposed to getting a cat, but he may be open to adopting a different kind of pet. If you are looking for companionship, other animals can provide this too.
- Talk with your significant other about pets he might be willing to live with. Then, do some research online to learn about your options.
- Make the decision together so you will both be on the same page and agree to take care of the pet.