How to Deal With an Intruder in Your Home

Co-authored by Adrian Tandez

Last Updated: January 14, 2023 References Approved

Waking up to the sound of an intruder in your home, or even worse, to a shadowy figure in your bedroom has got to rank among your worst nightmares. As terrifying as it will be if you ever find yourself in this situation, there are some things that you can do to prepare yourself in advance and some steps you can take during the invasion to increase your safety.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Hiding From an Intruder

1
Avoid searching for an intruder. We've all seen movies where the home-owner grabs a bat and sneaks through the house searching for an intruder. It's best, though, to avoid confrontation with the intruder if at all possible.
- An intruder can react violently, so instead of searching for the intruder, you should first try to escape or hide.^{[1]
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2
Come up with a simple code word that your family will recognize in an emergency. If you need to warn your family members about an invasion, it's a great idea to have a code worked out in advance.
- You can shout this simple word or phrase, such as “ESCAPE!”, to put them on the alert so that they can escape or run to a safe place.
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3
Designate a safe room. If you're not able to get out of the house, having a designated safe room (or even closet) can be a good idea.
- If at all possible, try to make your way to this safe room if you hear an intruder in your home.
4
Make sure your safe room locks from the inside. Whether your safe room is your bedroom or a separate room in the house, you want to make sure that it has a solid door that locks from the inside and which can be quickly and easily barricaded.
- Consider installing a deadbolt on your bedroom door and/or the safe room for extra security.^{[2]
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- You should also make sure that you have an audible and silent panic alarm in your room that is monitored. The alarm system may startle or deter the intruder in the first place.
5
Have your safe room stocked in advance. The most important item to have in your safe room is a working, charged phone so that you can contact the police. Ideally, this will not be a land-line, which could be cut, and would instead be a cell phone.
- Stock your safe room with things you can use as a weapon in case the intruder makes it in and you are forced to defend yourself, such as a bat. We'll have more to say in later steps about keeping more dangerous weapons such as knives and guns in your safe room.
- You may also want to consider having food, water, and first aid supplies in your safe room.^{[3]
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6
Turn out the lights and remain as silent as possible. You don't want to alert the intruder to your presence if at all possible, so make sure that all lights in the room are turned off.
7
Avoid calling out to the intruder. You may be tempted to yell “We've called the police!” in order to make the intruder panic and leave as quickly as possible. This isn't a good idea, though—it will give away your hiding place.^{[4]
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- If, however, the intruder tries to break into the room where you're hiding, then it may actually be a good idea to yell “We've called police—they're on their way!”.
- Use the plural “we” when you call out, even if you're alone. If the intruder thinks that there are more than one of you, he may panic and leave.
8
Call emergency services as quickly as possible. Once you are secure, call for help immediately. Be sure to provide the dispatcher with as many details as possible.^{[5]
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- For example, “My name is Sally Smith, and I live at 123 River Road. I hear two intruders in my home. I'm hiding in the upstairs back bedroom, and I think they are still downstairs in the living room.”
- Try to keep the line with the dispatcher open so that they can listen in, provide you with updates on the progress of the police, and help keep you calm.
9
Choose your position in the safe room strategically. If the intruder tries to break into the room where you are hiding, you're going to have to be prepared. Experts recommend that you stand in a corner that is on the opposite side of the door. Have your family members stand behind you.
- This way, if the intruder breaks into the room, you'll be able to see them before they see you, and you can quickly assess the situation to see if you need to fight (or shoot, if you are armed with a gun).
10
Remain in your safe room until the police arrive. Even if you are sure that the intruder has left, it's best for you to stay put until the police arrive to secure your home.
- Continue to stay on the line with the emergency services dispatcher until you are told that the police have arrived and until the police announce themselves outside your door.
11
Make sure your entire house is checked by the police. Especially if the suspect isn't caught by the police, you should ask them to thoroughly check your house and property.
12
Consider staying with a friend or neighbor for the rest of the evening. Even if the police have assured you that your house is safe, you may feel more comfortable spending the night elsewhere.
- It's also a good idea to try to determine how the intruder got into your home: was a lock picked or a window broken? You may need to have repairs completed and/or locks changed before you'll feel safe sleeping in your home again.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Handling an Intruder When You Can't Hide

1
Set off your car alarm. While you probably sleep with your phone next to you, you may never have thought of bringing your car keys to bed. If you hear an intruder (either in the house or in the room with you), press the alarm button for your car. There's a good chance that the intruder will take off.^{[6]
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2
Keep your distance from the intruder. If the intruder makes it into your room and you're already up, try to stay as far away as possible.
- Be on the lookout for ways to escape and do your best to remain calm and cooperative. You should avoid confrontation and violent reactions if at all possible.
EXPERT TIP

Adrian Tandez
Self Defense Trainer
Adrian Tandez is the founder and head instructor of the Tandez Academy, a world-renowned self-defense training center in Mountain View, California. Trained under the renowned martial artist Dan Inosanto, Adrian is a certified instructor in Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do, Filipino Martial Arts, and Silat, among other things. Adrian has over 27 years of self defense training experience.

Adrian Tandez
Self Defense Trainer

Keep in mind that the intruder may be armed, even if you don't see a weapon. Be very careful around an intruder. To be on the safe side, just assume that they're armed. You might think the intruder is empty-handed, but when they get angry, they could pull out a gun or a knife, so just stay aware.
3
Choose a strategic stance. Place your hands at shoulder level, which the intruder may interpret as being submissive, but which places you in a good position for self-defense.^{[7]
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4
Try to cooperate with the intruder. If you can't see an immediate route for escape, it is important to try to remain calm, and it's usually best to cooperate with the intruder.^{[8]
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- You may eventually be forced to defend yourself, but at least initially, you'll have a greater chance of surviving if you do what you're asked.
5
Know how to answer the phone if you have an alarm system. If you haven't been able to call the police before an intruder makes it into your home, and if you have a home alarm system, you may receive a phone call from the company.
- If the intruder is in the room and wants or allows you to answer (they may know that if you don't pick up the police will be sent), you should have a distress code phrase prearranged with the security company.
- When you say the code words, they'll know that you're in trouble. For example, you could say “Mom, I'll call you in the morning.”^{[9]
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- If forced to disarm your security system, use your duress code on the keypad instead of your usual code: This has the added benefit that the police will be notified silently.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Fighting an Intruder

1
Decide whether to use pepper-spray. You should use pepper-spray on an intruder only if you will be able to escape after doing so.
- The fumes can be overwhelming, and you don't want to be trapped in a room with them.^{[10]
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2
Aim to incapacitate. While it's generally recommended that you try to escape or cooperate with an intruder, you may be forced to defend yourself.^{[11]
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Research source} If you need to fight, you should fight to incapacitate the intruder so that you can escape.
- Aim for the groin, neck, face (eyes, nose, mouth) or knees.^{[12]
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- Where you should hit the attacker will depend on where the intruder is positioned near you. If he's not standing right next to you, for example, then try to kick his knees (hard and fast), rather than moving closer to strike him in the neck.^{[13]
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3
Inflict damage with your hands. Hold your dominant hand open and flat, with your fingers straight and close together, and your thumb out. Then forcefully jab your hand into the intruder's neck.^{[14]
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- You may also be able to incapacitate the intruder by making a forceful upward thrust with the heel of your palm into his nose.^{[15]
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4
Use your elbows. You may also be able to throw your elbow up into the intruder's neck, face, groin, or even stomach.
- Use your leverage, and throw your body weight into it.^{[16]
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5
Use common objects as weapons. While you can attempt to gouge your attacker's eyes or nose with your hands, scan the room quickly to see if you can use something else as a weapon. For example, it's a good idea to keep a pen or your car keys near your bed.
- If you're woken before you can make it to your safe room or grab another more suitable weapon, you may still be able to inflict serious damage with these items.
6
Run as soon as you are able. While you may be forced into a physical confrontation with the intruder, take the first opportunity to flee. Make as much noise as possible, in the hopes that you'll alert a neighbor or a passerby to your situation.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Defending Yourself with Deadly Weapons

1
Learn about the law in your state. You may be conflicted about whether or not it's a good idea to keep a gun in your home, although it is highly advised for your safety. There are of course safety concerns about keeping weapons in a house with children, but you may also be worried about what will happen to you if you shoot an intruder. Do not worry though, for if you do harm said intruder, it is completely within your rights to harm them if you live in a state with the "Stand Your Ground" law.
- In most cases, the law will protect you if you shoot an intruder.^{[17]
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2
Shoot if you believe you or a family member are in danger. Even though you will generally be protected by the law for shooting an intruder, you generally must reasonably believe that you are in danger, and you must respond proportionately.^{[18]
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- This means that if the intruder is threatening you with a piece of fruit, for example, and you know it's a piece of fruit, you could face charges for stabbing or shooting the intruder.^{[19]
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3
Learn if you're required to try to escape. In some states, you are required to at least attempt to retreat from the dangerous situation before you can legally respond with force.^{[20]
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Learn if your state has a “Stand Your Ground” law. While the law or statute might be called something else, many states have laws that do not require you to retreat (or attempt to). Instead, you are legally permitted to claim self-defense and respond with force.
- Even in these states, you aren't allowed to attack without reasonable cause, so be careful. If you can, it helps to research what laws and statutes apply where you live.^{[21]
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5
Learn if “Castle Doctrines” apply in your state. Generally speaking, if you live in such a state, you're legally permitted to use lethal force upon anyone who unlawfully enters your home, without needing to first determine whether and how much of a threat they pose to you.
- Again, it's always a good idea to learn what laws apply in your state, and how the specifics vary.^{[22]
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6
Keep your guns in a safe, secure place. If you do feel more secure with guns in your home, it's important that they are securely locked (ideally in a gun safe) and not just hidden.
- This is all the more important if you have children: even if you think that you've hidden your guns and ammunition where they'll never find it, it is nearly guaranteed that they will discover your hiding places.
7
Store your guns and ammunition separately. It's generally recommended that you keep the guns in your home unloaded and that you store your guns and ammunition separately. You should of course be able to access both quickly in an emergency.
- Consider storing them in your safe room, but be sure to keep the keys to both where children cannot find them.^{[23]
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8
Consider using a gun lock. You can purchase gun-locking devices which will render a gun inoperable when not in use.^{[24]
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Research source} Make sure that you know how to disable the lock quickly, but know that using one can be a good idea if you have children or teenagers in the home.
9
Identify that there is an intruder before shooting. In order to avoid tragic accidents, it's important that you try to keep a cool head when you think there is an intruder in the home. Account for your spouse, partner, and/or other family members before shooting blindly.
- While the police should identify themselves if they enter your home, try to take a quick moment before shooting if someone breaks into your room. It could be an intruder, in which case it's important that you protect yourself, but you don't want to accidentally shoot a police officer.

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How can I prepare for an intruder breaking into my home?

Asher Smiley
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Asher Smiley is the Owner and Lead Instructor at Krav Maga Revolution in Petaluma, California. Asher has earned a Tier 1 Instructor Certification in the American Krav Maga system. In 2017, he trained with the International Kapap Federation Combat Krav Maga International, completing their 7 day tactical seminar and the 8 day CKMI instructor course.

Asher Smiley

Self Defense Trainer

Expert Answer

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Come up with a plan and always know the best course of action. Look at your house and living arrangements and decide on the best routes out of your house and the best places to hide. If you live with someone else like a partner or children, make sure you talk to everyone about what the game plan is so that they know what to do and don't go into shock if something happens.