How to Get a Guy That Likes You to Ask You Out

Last Updated: June 21, 2022 References Approved

You're confident that you've read the signs correctly and you're pretty sure that he's interested. So why hasn't he asked you out yet? Here are some helpful ideas to give him a push in the right direction. Don't overdo it though.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Capture His Attention

1
Have confidence. If you already know this guy likes you, it's just a matter of getting him to ask you out! Don't be too clingy.^{[1]
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Research source} Let this knowledge give you confidence. Embrace the strong, beautiful woman that you are and show this guy why he would be a fool to pass up the chance to ask you out!
- Remember—attracting a good guy means embracing your self-worth.
- Walk right up to him and start a conversation. Stand up straight, make eye contact. Voice your opinions. Guys love confident girls.^{[2]
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- Overconfidence, on the other hand, is not an attractive quality. Be careful not to overdo it.
2
Be witty. Displaying good wit demonstrates that you are intelligent and that you have a sense of humor, two things that many guys look for in a girl. If he finds you funny, he'll enjoy talking to you more and look forward to spending time with you. So if you can make him laugh, you're on to a winner.
- Be able to laugh at yourself.^{[3]
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  Research source} This shows that you're easy-going and that you don't take yourself too seriously.
- Go easy on the sarcasm and don't make jokes at the expense of other people.
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3
Accentuate your best features. There's no point in denying it, physical attraction is a huge factor in any potential romance. With this in mind, take care to accentuate your best features. Don't be too modest. Everybody has something they like about themselves. Play it up!^{[4]
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- Great smile? Flash those pearly whites! Bangin' curves? Use a belt to accentuate your waist. Beautiful eyes? The right eyeshadow can make the color pop! Find your best feature and work it, girl.
- Don't go overboard. A full face of make-up, uncomfortably tight clothes or vertigo-inducing heels may have the opposite of the desired effect, especially if that's not your normal look. Stick to what works for you and gives you confidence.
4
Compliment him. Newsflash! Guys like to be complimented just as much as girls do. Flattering him with a genuine compliment will achieve two things: it will not-so-subtly let him know that you're interested, while also giving him the warm and fuzzies, which will make him like you even more.^{[5]
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- Not sure what to say? Tell him he has a cute smile or a great haircut. If he plays an instrument, compliment him on his musical abilities. If he's on a sports team, tell him you watched a game and were impressed by how well he played.
- Keep the compliment simple and sincere and he'll really appreciate it, and take the hint. For instance, you could compliment him on his interests or accomplishments.
5
Find some common ground. One of the major things that discourages a guy from asking you out in the first place is the fear that the two of you will have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. Show him that this couldn't be further than the truth. Ask him about his interests and hobbies, his family, his plans for the future - anything you could potentially bond over.
- Don't fake an interest in something just to keep him happy. Pretending that you're an excellent bass player or that you love horror movies has the potential to backfire horribly once he invites you to jam with his band or accompany him to the latest Saw movie.
- Even if you don't know anything about sailing or you're a terrible mini-golfer, all you need to do is show some interest and let him know that you're eager to learn. It might even give him an idea for your first date!
6
Listen to him. Everybody likes a good listener, including your guy. Show him that you're interested in what he has to say. He'll be flattered by your attention and you'll also get to know him a little better. Let him talk and don't interrupt or talk too much and ask a lot of questions.^{[6]
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Trustworthy Source
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- Many girls make the mistake of telling the guys they like about every tiny detail of their lives. Avoid doing this at all costs, you'll either overwhelm him, bore him, or scare him away. Maintain an air of mystery and listen more than you talk.
- Stay engaged in the conversation, even if he's doing most of the talking. Ask thoughtful and stimulating questions. Maintain eye contact, smile, nod your head and use appropriate hand gestures to indicate interest and agreement.
7
Play the damsel in distress. If you're feeling mischievous, try playing the damsel in distress. Guys can't resist helping a girl in need. Ask for help reaching something on a high shelf, or for advice on where to service your car. Then thank them and flash your most winsome smile. Works like a charm.^{[7]
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- Don't play this card too often. Ask for too many favors and his patience will soon wear thin, along with his affections.
- Don't play dumb. It's fine to ask for help when you need it, but don't intentionally act dumb just to have an excuse to ask. Remember: guys like smart girls, or at least the ones worth dating do.
8
Be yourself. You've heard this little nugget of advice many times before, but that doesn't make it any less true. If you're to have any chance of a future together, this guy needs to like you for you - the real you, that is. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Hang out with the people you usually do, dress the way you normally would, stay true to your opinions and beliefs. Let your winning personality speak for itself. If you are acting when you are around him, then your whole relationship will be fake, and you will eventually get tired of acting. Be you! Chances are, he will love your personality!^{[8]
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- A guy is more likely to see you as a long-term partner when you confidently know your worth and open up about your vulnerabilities.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Let Him Know You're Interested

1
Let him know you're available. Subtly let him know that you're not seeing anybody at the moment, but that you're open to the possibility. The one thing stronger than a guy's desire to ask a girl out is his fear of rejection. If you can relieve that fear then there will be nothing standing in his way. So make it clear that you'd say yes to him if he asked.^{[9]
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2
Send clear signals. Everyone knows that guys can be a little slow at reading the signs. So even if you feel like you've been sending out all the right signals, it might be time to up the ante a little. Smile at him, laugh at his jokes, touch his arm when you talk to him, sit close to him when possible - he should soon realize that he's the only one receiving such special attention.^{[10]
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- Don't underestimate the power of body language! When you're around him, keep your body language open. Crossing your arms makes you seem unapproachable and closed off. If you don't know what to do with your hands, order a drink, or rest them on your lap. Try not to fidget.^{[11]
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- Make lots of eye contact. If you're looking anywhere but at him while he's talking to you, you'll seem disinterested. Looking him straight in the eye and you'll appear confident and open.^{[12]
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3
Invite him to join you. If you have plans to hang out with friends or to go to a party over the weekend, invite him to come along. With any luck, the two of you will spend the whole time together. It's not exactly a date, but it'll give you the opportunity to get to know one another a little better in a no-pressure environment.
4
Get friends involved. A trustworthy friend can be used to your advantage here. She can do some undercover digging and make comments or ask questions that you would feel uncomfortable with.
- Ask her to talk to his friends and playfully inquire about when he's going to ask you on a date.
- Get her to comment on what a good couple the two of you would make, in front of a group of people. It might be a little embarrassing at the time, but it will plant the idea in his brain.
- Just make sure that you can count on her to be discreet. Otherwise, using a friend to do your dirty work can seem immature.
5
Stalk him (just a little). Find out where he likes to hang out in the evenings, what his favorite coffee place is or where he goes to the gym. Then, if you happen to "accidentally" bump in to one another, you can strike up a conversation.
- Remember, this tactic is to be used only once or twice. If you do it more often than that, he'll figure out that you're stalking him and you'll look like a creep.
6
Drop hints. If he still hasn't worked up the courage to ask you out on a date, it might be time to take the initiative and give him a ready-made opportunity. Mention that there's a new bar in town that you'd be interested in checking out, or a new sci-fi film that you're dying to see. Hopefully he'll see his chance and offer to go with you. It's not the most romantic of proposals, but you'll still get your date!^{[13]
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7
Ask him out. If you're tired of waiting around for this guy to summon up the nerve to ask you out, take matters into your own hands. This is the 21st Century after all. He'll be impressed by your confidence and won't be able to resist saying yes!^{[14]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Things to Avoid

1
Don't get friend-zoned. Nothing spells death for a potential romance like getting put in the friend-zone. Sure, you want to be the cool girl who he can talk to and have a laugh with, but you don't want to become like "one of the guys." Show off your feminine side a little and make it clear, through words and body language, that you want to be more than friends.
2
Don't be obsessive. Letting him know that you're interested is perfectly fine, but don't take it to an extreme level. Showing up wherever he goes, hanging on his every word and bombarding him with calls and text messages is not the way to go. Maintain an air of mystery and always leave him wanting more.
3
Don't be fake. Never try to be someone you're not, just to get a guy's attention. You won't be able to keep it up, and if the girl he goes on his third date with is completely different from the girl he asked out, he'll be more than a little confused. If he doesn't like the real you, then he's not worth your attention anyway.^{[15]
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- It's always best to embrace your true, authentic self.
4
Be patient. Some guys are just as afraid of being rejected or getting their feelings hurt as girls are. Give the guy some time to build up his courage. Let him get to know you and see what a great person you are, he'll soon find his way.
5
Don't be afraid of rejection. Maybe you're afraid that you misread the signs or that he'll change his mind once he gets to know you better. Try not to think this way. If you get the feeling that he likes you, then chances are you're right. Be positive - this could be the start of something beautiful!^{[16]
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