preventing sexual abuse
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Sexual abuse has lasting effects
Even though talking about sexual abuse is hard, it is very important to
make sure that you, or someone you trust, talk to your child. Explaining
sexual abuse to children in a way they can understand will not make
them more worried. It will not hurt them. It will make them safer.
Sangeeta was 4 years old when she was abused by her 14-year old
brother. She went to her parents and in her childish way told them
that her brother had hurt her. At first, Sangeeta’s parents thought
that she had bruised herself. Sangeeta did not know the right words
to use, but she kept trying to explain.
Finally, when her parents understood what had happened, they
did their best to cover up the incident. Sangeeta was not allowed
to talk about it. Her parents “solved the problem” by sending her
brother to a boarding school. For her parents, the matter was closed.
As Sangeeta grew up, her brother’s abuse had
lasting effects on her. She was afraid of men
and she felt it was her fault that her brother
had been sent away. When he came home
for holidays, she could not talk to him.
Sangeeta was convinced that she could
never get married. She felt shame and
was afraid of having “pain” again, she
said. She also felt little hope for the
future and had little faith in herself or
her abilities.
When she was 16, Sangeeta began
talking to her aunt who was a health
worker about her childhood abuse. As she shared
her feelings and fears, she began to gain confidence.
Finally, with her aunt’s support, she was able to share her feelings
with her brother, who asked for her forgiveness. She is happier now,
but she is still not able to talk to her parents about her feelings.
Sangeeta was fortunate because she was able to find someone to talk
with about her feelings. Sometimes victims of abuse pretend that nothing
happened. Sometimes they do not remember what happened until they
begin talking about why they feel so afraid or unhappy. When adults who
were abused as children cannot talk about their own feelings, they often
cannot talk to their own children about how to protect themselves against
abuse either.
helping children who are blind