How to Ask Your Parents for Money

Co-authored by Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Last Updated: January 26, 2023

Many parents will do almost anything to help their kids, including giving them money when they're in a bind. If you have a good reason for asking and your parents can afford it, asking politely and presenting a plan to pay them back will probably win them over. Expressing gratitude and following through on your promises will keep you in good standing and make them more likely to lend you money if you ever need it again.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Preparing to Ask

1
Consider your track record. Do you lean on your parents for a lot of different favors, or are you mostly independent? You parents may be more likely to give you what you want if you have a track record of being pretty self-sufficient. If you've already asked for money several times, you constantly borrow their car(s), and you don't help out much around the house, they may not be in the mood to give you the cash.^{[1]
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- If you feel your track record is a little shaky, make an effort to improve it before you ask. If you live at home, you could cook them dinner, wash their car, and do other chores around the house.
- If you don't live at home, find other ways to brighten their days from afar. Be responsive when they call and let them into your life. You don't want to call them out of the blue for the first time in months just to ask for money.
2
Have a good reason. If your reason is well thought out and concrete, your parents will be more responsive. Think about exactly what you need the money for, and why. Get ready to make a case for yourself that will have your parents feeling happy to loan you the money.
- For example, let's say you want the money for a new computer. Your parents will be more likely to give you money to buy it if you tell them it will help you excel at your new job or do better in school, rather than just saying you want a computer.
- If you need the money for a basic necessity, like paying rent or buying food, be honest about why you're in this situation. Your situation will probably tug on your parents' heartstrings and they'll be likely to help you.
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3
Show that you're doing your part. You might get further if you come up with a way to pay for at least part of what you need. Save up as much as you can toward the total sum you need, so you can ask your parents to help you pay for the rest. They'll see that you're working hard to pay what you can and might be more likely to help you out.
4
Come up with a reasonable sum. Research the price of what you need and come up with an accurate number you can share with your parents. Be sure you're able to account for the total amount of money you're asking for, so your parents won't feel you're taking advantage of them. If you're straightforward and honest, they may even throw in a little extra.
5
Plan how you'll pay it back. If you're asking for a loan, not a gift, your parents will be more likely to loan you the money if you have an established plan for paying them back. Calculate the amount of time it will take you to save up the money so you can give them a projected due date. Whether it's a month from now or a year from now, your parents will want to know.^{[2]
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- You could offer to set up a payment plan and pay your parents back in installments. That way you won't have to pay everything at once, and it might feel easier to get the money back to them on time.
- If you don't plan to pay them back, don't tell them you're going to. It's better to be honest about your intentions. If you ever find yourself in need of money again, you'll want your parents to remember that you paid them back last time.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Having the Conversation

1
Have a polite conversation. Arrange a time to sit down with your parents and ask for the money. You want your parents to know that you aren't taking this situation lightly, and you'd only be asking if you needed it. You'll come across as more serious and sincere if you set up a time beforehand, rather than having a quick phone call or just casually asking for the money in passing.
2
Lay out your plan. Depending on how large a sum you're asking for, you might want to bring some paperwork to your discussion with your parents. Show them how you calculated the exact amount that you need. Indicate how much you've been able to save to pay for the item, then ask for the remaining amount.
- If you're asking for money for a specific item, find it online and print out the price.
- If you'd like extra money you can use as a cushion, be upfront about that. Tell them that if they give you a certain amount now, you'll be able to get on your feet and won't have to ask again.
- If you're going to pay them back, you might want to provide a printed installment plan or schedule they can keep. This shows that you're serious about making good on your promise.
3
Make sure they can afford it. You probably have a fairly good picture of what your parents' finances are like. Still, it's better not to assume they can give or even loan you a large amount of money. Ask them if they feel comfortable with the amount you're asking for. They may tell you they simply can't afford it, or that they'd be able to give you a partial amount.
4
Accept their stipulations. Asking for money is a big favor, and your parents are entitled to making a few stipulations. They may say that they'll give you just a part of what you're asking for, or perhaps they'll say they can loan you the money if you pay it back within a short time. Your first inclination might be to get upset or angry that they didn't give you what you wanted with no strings attached. However, if you want or need the money, you'll have to accept what comes with it.^{[3]
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- It's possible that your parents will decline to give you the money. If that's the case, see if there's anything you can do to make them feel better about giving it to you. Is there a chore or job you could do in exchange for the money? See if you can make repairs, do the grocery shopping, or help out in some other way. If your parents see that they are gaining something valuable in return, perhaps they will be more willing to give you money.
- If they still won't budge, don't beg. Instead, try to find another way to get money. If you show your parents you're resourceful, they may even decide to help you out.
- Do not demand, either. Stay polite and respectful.
5
Say thank you. If your parents decide to give you the money, it's in your best interest to tell them thanks. If you're over eighteen, your parents are no longer obligated to support you financially, so the money they hand over is a gift. If you want to go above and beyond, you could even write them a thank-you note. Your attitude will make them feel more willing to help you out in the future.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Following Up

1
Pay them back if you said you would. Once the money is in your pocket, you'll feel relief that you can pay for what you need. But don't forget to start saving money so you can pay your parents back if that was part of the bargain you struck with them. Keeping up your end will make your parents feel better about having loaned you money. Also, you'll feel better when you are no longer beholden to them.
2
Think about ways to avoid this situation in the future. While there's nothing wrong with asking your parents for money, it's not a situation you want to be in forever. Your parents need to save for retirement, and you need to feel independent and financially secure in your own right. Even if your parents say yes every time, take steps toward earning enough money to meet your own needs, so asking for money doesn't become a habit.^{[4]
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3
See about finding another source of money next time. Think about how it felt to ask your parents for money. Was it a positive or negative experience? If it was positive, you're lucky; you've got very supportive parents. However, in some cases, there are drawbacks to asking parents for money. While parents might say yes when you ask, they may also cause you to feel guilty or childish for asking. Asking family members for money can be emotionally loaded. If you ever need extra money again, consider these other options:
- If you're in school, see if you can take an on-campus job or get an emergency loan from the financial aid office.
- If you have a job, see if you can get an advance on your paycheck to cover emergency bills.
- If you're having trouble paying loans, meet with your bank to work out a sustainable payment plan based on your income.