How to Ask a Guy to a School Dance

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: November 7, 2022 Approved

If you're looking for a date to the school dance and are tired of waiting around for a guy to ask you, don't worry! Asking a guy to go to a school dance is a lot easier and less embarrassing than you may think. Read this article to learn how.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Prepping Yourself

1
Determine whether or not he already has a date. This will save you a great deal of time and trouble, and give you enough time to find another potential date if necessary.
- If you are unsure, then ask one of his friends or someone in his social circle. Try to figure this out before asking him out.
- If he has a girlfriend, then he is probably going with her.
2
Think about who else you would like to go with beforehand. In the event that your first choice is taken, having backup will ensure that you are not left without a date to the dance.

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3
Figure out how you want to ask him. Consider asking him in person or via telephone if you have his number. It is also totally acceptable to ask him through email or Facebook message if you don't want to do it face-to-face.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Asking Him Out

1
Start off by greeting him at school or whenever you see him alone or send him a friendly text saying "Hey, how's it going?" If you are doing the asking in person, then approach him and say hello.
- Be sure to smile and act confident, even if you are extremely nervous. Most guys like girls who are confident and have self-esteem. (Don't act pompous or cocky, though).
- Wear something that makes you feel attractive. If you feel beautiful on the inside, then it will show on the outside.
2
Bring up the topic of the dance. Casually ask him whether or not he is going, and if he has made any plans.
- If he already has another date, then don't ask him to ditch his current date to go with you. It is unfair to the other girl, and will come across as desperate and insensitive.
3
Ask him if he'd like to go with you. Be sure to smile and look him in the eyes if you are doing the asking in person.
- Share your current plans with him, if you have any. For example, if you and your girlfriends have rented a limousine, then tell him. This will help him make his decision, and show him that you have a fun evening planned.
4
Maintain your composure, regardless of his answer. If he says yes, then tell him you are looking forward to it, but don't jump up and down screaming; you don't want to make him regret his decision! If he says no, then graciously tell him that there are no hard feelings, and move on.
5
Make the appropriate plans if he says yes. Decide who will pick up whom, where you will meet, and what color dress you are wearing if it is a formal dance so that he can determine what color to wear.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you ask someone to a dance over text?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Ask him a simple question, like "Do you have any good dance moves?" or "When's the last time you wore your dancing shoes?" If you'd rather be more direct, say something like "Hey! There's this really amazing dance coming up that's going to have some food, drinks, and really good music. Maybe you could join me and bring your dancing shoes?"
Question

Can I ask a guy to a school dance through using a note?

Community Answer

Yes, that is perfectly fine.
Question

I have a huge crush on this boy from another class, and I think he might like me back. My school's dance is in June. How do I ask him if I never even spoken with him?

Community Answer

Introduce yourself during lunch or recess. The chances of you going with him are not very high if you can't muster the courage to talk to him a few times before the dance.