How to Be Attractive

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: March 23, 2023 References Approved

Are you ready to become a more vibrant, memorable, and attractive person? Are you ready to build your charisma and create strong relationships with others who generally enjoy your company? Stop thinking you are boring or unattractive and take proactive steps to improve your own self-confidence and gain a greater appreciation in the eyes of others.

Things You Should Know

Improve your appearance and health over time. To do this, shower regularly and eat more healthy foods, like fruits and veggies.
Show others that you're charming and confident by regularly maintaining eye contact and using open body language.
Become a charismatic, attractive conversation partner by listening to what others have to say and asking thoughtful questions.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Taking Care of Your Body

1
Embrace a healthy lifestyle. A healthy body is very often considered an attractive trait. This doesn't mean you need to become a body builder or marathon runner. Start by making basic healthy decisions in your everyday life, and take it from there. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle can demonstrate maturity and responsibility, which are attractive traits to a potential mate.
- Studies show that 12% body fat in men, and 20% body fat in women is a good goal to strive for. In men, a 12% body fat ratio increases testosterone levels and boosts immune system.^{[1]
  X
  Research source}
- Women have more body fat than men, and at a 20% ratio, a women's curves are more defined.
- Eating more fruits and vegetables is a great way to become more vibrant while you diet. Fruits and vegetables are loaded with antioxidants and plant-based pigments, which give skin a healthy glow.
2
Get your beauty sleep. No matter how groomed you are, or how much make-up you wear, studies have shown that sleep deprived people look less healthy, more tired, and overall less attractive.
- Aim to get 8 hours of sleep each night to fight off red eyes, and other symptoms of sleep deprivation.
Advertisement
3
Keep yourself well groomed. Showers solve most problems. Brush and floss your teeth regularly. Comb your hair. Get regular haircuts. Keep your nails clean. Smell nice. Scent is a strong influencer on attractiveness. Personal hygiene is very important.
4
Find your center. Health is a huge contributor to overall attractiveness. You will automatically look more attractive if you look both emotionally and physically healthy.^{[2]
X
Research source} In addition to your diet and exercise, meditation is a powerful tool to relax your mind, lower stress hormones, improve your mood, and clear your skin.
- Whether it's meditation (focus on your breath), mindfulness (focus on the now), or just paying attention to what is happening in the present moment, these practices will lead you to embody a sense of calm and ease.
- It's a slight shift with a big impact. Train yourself to be here now and watch how others respond to your aura of grace.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Attracting Through Body Language

1
Stand with an open torso.^{[3]
X
Research source} Be attractive in your body language. Open body language can be more attractive than any outfit. You can use your body language to convey availability and attractiveness.
- Don’t cross your arms, don’t check your phone in front of your chest, and don’t hug your purse or hold your glass of wine at your canter. Each of these can convey a closed off, unavailable person.
2
Show your hands. Generally, when we can’t see someone’s hands, we have difficulty in trusting them. Research shows that a person’s most attractive trait is their availability.^{[4]
X
Research source} When you are socializing, show people that you want to connect with them by keeping your posture open and available.
- Don’t put your hands in your pockets, under the table, or in your coat. People may be less likely to open up to you if they can't see your hands.
3
Smile. It's incredible how important, yet simple this one is. When we smile, we automatically become more approachable, more interesting, and friendlier.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} Smiling is a huge tool in attractiveness.^{[6]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- Smile at people you see, most of them will smile back.
4
Maintain eye contact. Good eye contact can communicate more than words. Through eye contact you can express that you are engaged, listening, and in the present.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} You can show that you care about the individual you are looking at.
- Avoid looking down or shifting your gaze. This can show that you are uninterested.
- Sometimes too much eye contact can come off as creepy or weird. Practice holding eye contact for a second longer than you normally would and focus on something, like the color of the persons eyes. This kind of eye contact is more personable.
5
Dress to impress. Wear clothes that fit you well and flatter your figure. Studies have shown that wearing red can increase your attractiveness to a potential mate.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- Ladies, put on a red dress or wear a little red lipstick.
- Men who grow a light beard are considered more attractive to some. If you grow facial hair, be sure to keep it well groomed.^{[9]
  X
  Research source}
6
Stand tall. Keep your head up and your eyes forward. By walking with a confident stance, you will begin to feel more comfortable within yourself.^{[10]
X
Research source} This is one of the easiest and cheapest ways to become more attractive. Simply stand a little taller.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Socializing

1
Listen first. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Shine the spotlight on them. Give them your full attention and appreciation by focusing only on them. When we let people talk about themselves, it triggers pleasure responses in their brain.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Put your stuff away. Don't check your phone. Don't glance at your monitor. Don't focus on anything else, even for a moment.
2
Respond with questions. Ask them about positive things in their life. When they reply, ask them how they are feeling about life in general. Since you’ve already gotten a positive answer to the first question, you are more likely to get a positive answer to the second one, leading to a positive overall experience with you.
- Become memorable and attractive through the way you let them express themselves to you.
3
Select your words carefully. The words you use can have a huge impact on how you come across to others.^{[12]
X
Research source} Avoid being negative as much as possible. Prioritize positive words over negative ones. We all associate happy, enthusiastic, and fulfilled people with attractiveness. Say things like:
- "I believe in you." These four short words can have a huge impact on how people feel both about themselves and about you.
- "How can I help?" Offering assistance doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to help some, but often we cannot accomplish things alone. Saying this will show someone you are an ally.
- "Here's what's happening." No one wants to be left out. If you make an effort to include everyone, they will associate a positive connection with you. Share the information you have to become more likable. You can also use this phrase to demonstrate decisiveness in a positive way.
- "I'll find out."
- "You're welcome." Somewhere down the road we stopped saying, "You're welcome" and started saying "yep," and "no problem." Saying the former establishes that you have done a worthwhile favor, whereas the latter shows that what you have done was insignificant. Use the former to show a person how much you care.
4
Be playful. Laugh easily. Playfulness, as a personality trait can bring a bunch of positivity to your life and the lives of others. Not only can playfulness help reduce stress levels, but it will also help you appear more confident and comfortable.
- Take care to tease lightly and play close attention to the other people around you. No matter what your intentions, playfulness isn't attractive if you end up hurting someone's feelings.
- There is a time and place for playfulness. If you are in a professional environment, where playfulness is generally not encouraged, save it for when you leave work. However, you can still exercise kindness and warmth.
5
Speak slower. Slowing down your speech can actually make you more interesting to others. This gives them a chance to digest what you are saying. Speaking slower also demonstrates confidences and a relaxed state, while speaking quickly might make you look overly excited, eager, or nervous.
- Especially if you are nervous, practice speaking slow. This will help you remain calm, and maintain control.
- You are also less likely to stumble over your words if you speak slowly.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I naturally be pretty?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Flash a big smile to the other person. Smiling is a great way to let someone else know that you're interested in them.
Question

How can I be attractive when everyone seems to think I'm a nerd?

Community Answer

There's nothing wrong with being a nerd, and you can be both attractive and a nerd. Don't overthink it and don't worry about what other people say. Just be yourself.
Question

How do I act when someone is rude to me in front of my crush?

Emily C

Community Answer

You should stand up for yourself in a mature manner, because doing so shows that you are confident and not weak. Avoid name-calling or other acts of immaturity.