How to Be a Lipstick Lesbian

Co-authored by Kalee Hewlett

Last Updated: June 9, 2022

A lipstick lesbian is a lesbian woman who has a highly feminine style and attitude (as opposed to conforming to the stereotypical masculine characteristics that are connected with being a lesbian) as well as an attraction to other feminine women. This article will show you how to be a lipstick lesbian.

Steps

1
Don't be afraid of makeup. Wear as much or as little as you would like. If it makes you happy, go ahead. However, keep in mind that it's and not everyone who is a lipstick lesbian will wear makeup. It doesn’t make you less or more of a lesbian.
- Go for lighter colors, blush, and neutral eye shadow for a feminine look.
2
Wear what you like. For a more feminine look, opt for skirts and dresses. They don't have to be short or revealing, just any shape or style that you are comfortable in. However there is no textbook way how to dress. The idea of a 'Lipstick Lesbian' is somebody who retains a feminine appearance but this doesn't mean you have to be in dresses all the time. Look for clothes that are appropriate for your body shape and size - ones that are comfortable yet modest if that is what you prefer. Instead of wearing pants or jeans, try skirts. With a blouse, belt, and flats, a skirt looks adorable.

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3
Choose comfortable, feminine shoes. Heels work well, if you can survive wearing them, and kitten heels work well for those who find them difficult to wear. If all else fails, pumps are cute and girly, and will work just as well. Just like the outfit however, you should wear what makes you comfortable.
- Wearing heels too often can lead to damage and pain. Try to wear flat shoes when you can.
4
Find cute accessories to match your look. Aside from your clothes and makeup, you should take some time to find the perfect accessories to complement your ensemble. You don't need a whole box of accessories to look put-together; just a few key pieces can help you look more feminine:
- A simple headband
- A hair barrette or ribbons
- A dainty necklace
- A couple of arm bracelets
- To be more stylish, you can use fun, bold, playful accessories such as bright, colorful bags in different shapes and sizes and statement jewelry like earrings, necklaces, and cuffs. You can also wear statement shoes with color and print.^{[1]
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- Accessories work to transform an outfit quickly. They complement a capsule closet.^{[2]
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- They do not require a big investment and can be worn repeatedly in multiple ways.^{[3]
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5
Be kind and polite. Even if you're hanging out with someone you don't particularly like, you should refrain from being openly angry or aggressive. Instead, smile, be courteous, and keep your contact with the person to a minimum.
6
Enjoy being yourself. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Some people may not believe you are into women because you seem too feminine, and many have the thought to demand you prove it. You don't have to prove it, because if they don't believe you in the first place, why are they worth proving it to? However, you are free to do so if you choose. It is your own decision.
7
To boost your confidence and self-esteem, practice self-love. If you are self-conscious and insecure about your appearance, look in the mirror and find at least one aspect of yourself that you like. It does not have to be grand; it can be as simple as the shape of your nose, freckles, or eye color. Do this on a daily basis.
8
Shave or wax (optional). Most girls will only wax their legs and underarms, but you can wax your forearms as well, especially if your hair is thick and coarse. You can also visit a beauty salon or manicure shop to have your brows and upper lip waxed. Remember that shaving is a personal preference, not a necessity. You don't have to shave to look pretty or be feminine.
9
Be playful and fun. Let's get rid of the notion that being feminine entails being perfect and luminous. When grace fails you and you fall flat on your face in the middle of a room, your ability to laugh it off is the true test of your femininity! Make jokes, make others smile, and project positivity.
10
Style your hair. Take advantage of your hair's natural texture. It is much easier to embrace your hair than to fight against it. Visit a hair stylist, and ask him or her to help you choose a hairstyle that suits your face shape and hair texture. Brush your hair properly to prevent frizz and snags. Skip the daily heat styling, and use a good heat protectant when you do.
11
Take care of your body and yourself. Wear sunscreen, exercise, eat healthily, and get 8-10 hours of sleep per night. This will help you feel confident and happy.
12
Make grooming a priority. You don't have to take a two-hour shower or spend an hour doing your hair every day, but you should make sure you always look, feel, and smell clean, and that you've set aside enough time to maintain a ladylike appearance. It's not very feminine to show up somewhere after a workout without showering; make sure you exude cleanliness and poise and appear somewhat put-together wherever you go.
13
Follow your own style. Every lesbian is different, and you don't have to perfectly conform to the "lipstick lesbian" label if you don't feel like it. Do not feel pressured to fit into a box or adhere to a particular style to represent yourself in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Be true to yourself, since everyone is different.

Community Q&A

Question

Can I be a lipstick pansexual?

Community Answer

Yes, you can, but the reason why there's such a concept as a "lipstick lesbian" is because lesbians are usually seen as butch or masculine. Pansexual women do not have such a stereotype.
Question

Can women choose to be lesbian or are they born lesbian?

Community Answer

There is no choice when it comes to sexuality, romantic attraction, or gender.
Question

Can I still call myself a lipstick lesbian if I wear jeans and nice tops?

Community Answer

Yes. You don't have to wear a dress and a fully face of makeup to be a lipstick lesbian. If that's what you identify most with, then that's what you are.

Warnings

If people believe you are straight and then find out you are not, they may act differently around you--especially women. Let that person know that your sexual orientation doesn't change who you are.

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