How to Celebrate a 90th Birthday Party

Co-authored by Lisa Maciel

Last Updated: November 25, 2022 Approved

Birthday celebrations can be meaningful and memorable at any age, and celebrating a milestone birthday like 90 certainly deserves a party! The details of the celebration will look different for each nonagenarian being celebrated, but each celebration should make them feel important and cared for. The best parties will focus on honoring the wisdom that comes with age, celebrating a life well-lived, and hoping for many happy years to come.

Part 1

Part 1 of 5:

Considering the Health and Interests of the Guest of Honor

1
Recognize if your guest of honor is mobile or requires assistance. Does he or she get around easily, or only with help? Does he or she have trouble with steps, or walking through crowded rooms?
- Make sure your chosen venue is wheelchair-accessible (if necessary). Consider both the guest of honor and his or her friends.
2
Note if there are any risks involved. For example, if you are planning a party in January and live in Michigan, you must consider the possibility of snowy or bitingly cold weather. It may not be the best decision to bring a senior citizen out in nasty weather conditions as they are more susceptible to catching illnesses.
- Be prepared to change plans if the honoree is unwell on the date of the party. It would not be wise to have a 90-year-old attend a party if he or she was under the weather.
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3
Consider transportation to and from the party. Many (though not all) 90-year-olds no longer drive their own vehicles on a daily basis. Recognize if this will be an issue for your guest of honor.
- Offer to be a driver, or find someone who is willing to drive your honoree and his or her friends, if necessary.
4
Remember the interests of the honored guest. While you are planning a 90th birthday party, it does not have to be solely focused on the number 90. Instead, think of the current or past interests of your honoree and see if you can incorporate these into the party.^{[1]
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Research source} This is a great opportunity to be creative!
- If your birthday honoree loves the outdoors, consider booking a place in a local park and bringing food to cook on a grill.
- If your birthday honoree loves Italian food, book a private room at the nicest Italian restaurant in town, and decorate it before the party.
- If your honoree’s favorite and most memorable moment was her honeymoon in Paris, recreate a French restaurant in your kitchen and dining room and take her back to her younger days.
5
Include your honored guest in the planning. Giving him or her a hand in the party planning can be a great topic of conversation and a fun way for them to stay involved in the party process. Questions you may want to ask include:
- Would you rather a small family gathering, or a large event with friends included?
- Would you rather a party in the afternoon or in the evening?
- Would you like a home-cooked meal or a special meal at a restaurant?
- Are there any friends or other guests you would like to invite? (Think about the people you may not know personally).
- Would you like a certain theme? (Think color, country, activity, etc.)
- What kind of birthday dessert would you like?

Part 2

Part 2 of 5:

Choosing a Venue for the Party

1
Ask the honoree if s/he would rather go out, or stay in. Depending on their health, independence, and cognitive state, senior citizens may feel more comfortable in a familiar setting.
2
Host the party at the home of the guest of honor. This would save your elderly honoree the stress of getting to another location for his or her party. It may be preferable in certain cases, and may be frowned upon in others.
- Plan to visit beforehand to lend a hand with cleaning, decorating, and preparing for the party. Do not leave this for the guest of honor to do!
3
Hold the party at the home of a family member. While this is still a change of scenery for your honored guest, it may be more comfortable and intimate than planning a larger get-together at a public venue.
4
Book a favorite restaurant. A favorite restaurant can be a familiar place that still provides the social and celebratory atmosphere that your nonagenarian may desire.
- Consider booking a private room. This is a way to make a regular restaurant reservation into a more luxe experience!
5
Consider a creative alternative option. Depending on the unique personality and interests of your guest of honor, there are many creative venues to hold a fantastic party.
- If it’s going to be a summer event, consider an outdoor location such as a beach or a park.
- Consider renting a boat and hosting a party on the water for any sea-lovers.
- Plan a gathering in multiple venues, such as a pre-theatre dinner at a local restaurant and then a walk over to see a theatre performance.

Part 3

Part 3 of 5:

Picking Food for the Party

1
Have the party catered. Catering a party is a great way to enable you to hold the celebration in a familiar and intimate setting while removing the stress of cooking and cleaning up.
- Call your local caterer to see if there is a minimum number of guests required at the party or money that must be spent at the caterer. You don’t want to be blindsided by a higher-than-expected food bill!
- Peruse your menu options, and ensure there is food that your guests would enjoy.
- Call around to find a reasonably priced caterer. It is always advantageous to get several price quotes from several different companies before settling on a caterer.
2
Cook your own party food. Cooking your own food can be a wonderful way to pay tribute to your guest of honor, or simply to treat him or her with their favorite foods. Cooking your own party food can also be a subtle way to deal with any dietary issues that your guest of honor may have, without having to deal with them publicly at a restaurant.
- If your guest of honor loved to cook, serving an old family recipe can bring back good memories and create meaningful conversation.
- If your honoree comes from a certain cultural background, making food that can serve of a reminder of a homeland, possibly one not visited in a while, may be appreciated.
- If your guest of honor loves to try new or unique food, think of something creative that he or she might not have had for a long time- think sushi, ostrich burgers, calamari, lavender crème brulee- the possibilities are endless!
- Ask your guest of honor what he or she would pick if the dining possibilities were endless! This is the best way to ensure that the meal will make the 90th birthday celebration a special one.
3
Create a “set menu” at a restaurant. In many cases, it is possible to work with the restaurant to create a “set menu,” which will enable you to include some of the celebrant’s favorite dishes while still providing your guests with a selection.
- Consider asking if anyone attending has any dietary issues or food allergies. Some common food allergies include gluten and shellfish, so make sure you are aware of guests with potential dining issues.
- Make sure you include at least one veggie dish. Your vegetarian attendees will thank you! A pasta dish with no meat or fish is usually a safe bet.
- Ask the restaurant if you can rename your chosen dishes in honor of the 90th birthday celebrating. Something along the lines like “Nonna’s Nineties Nibbles” as an appetizer or “Auntie Sue’s Special Spicy Salmon” can be a fun way to honor your loved one.

Part 4

Part 4 of 5:

Preparing for the Party

1
Make a guest list. Consider inviting friends and family from both near and far. It is the people who attend the event that will make it the most special for your guest of honor.
- Make sure to ask for an RSVP. This will help you know what sort of venue is appropriate for the celebration.
- Offer to help friends and family from out of town book hotels, or offer up spare rooms with local family members if possible. This can help defray the cost for people traveling in from far away.
- Think about any possible “surprise guests.” Did the guest of honor have a special army buddy that he still writes to? Does she have a childhood friend or a favorite cousin that she doesn’t get to see often? If so, these are the types of surprises that your nonagenarian is sure to appreciate.
2
Decorate for the party. Party decorations are important at any birthday celebration. There are many ways you can decorate for a 90th birthday party, whether it be sticking to a very simple or incredibly extravagant theme.
- Include memorabilia from past eras and events. Consider making a photo collage, or digging out an old high school diploma, awards and trophies, or wedding photos that will honor the birthday guest. This can be a great way for the younger generations to connect with the guest of honor.
- Make it a party! Include banners, balloons, party hats, a piñata, streamers, confetti, etc. Include anything that reminds you of a great celebration!
- Find 90th birthday-themed items! Many card stores (such as Hallmark) or party stores (such as Party City) will sell 90th birthday-themed items. Even a simple hat for the honoree can make them feel special.
3
Prepare the guest of honor. On the day of the party, it may be appreciated to help prepare your guest of honor for their special day by going out of your way to make sure they feel their best.
- If the honoree is a woman, consider taking her to get her hair done or nails painted before the party. These simple beauty splurges can make her feel special on her special day. Ask her if she would like a new outfit or new shoes for the party, and make it a point to take her on a special shopping trip before the day of the party.
- If the honoree is a man, consider taking him to get a shave or a haircut before the party. Ask him if he would like new clothing, a new hat, or a new belt for the party. Something as simple as a new accessory can help him truly feel honored on his special day.

Part 5

Part 5 of 5:

Planning Party Activities

1
Try a “gentle roast.” A gentle roast can be a great way to get the room (and your birthday honoree) laughing.^{[2]
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Research source} Ask everyone in the room to write something down about the guest of honor based on a prompt. Call anyone who would like to speak up one by one, and make sure you have a microphone if you are in a large space.
- Make up your own prompts, or try one of these:
  - An embarrassing moment I had with John was…..
  - Something I thought I would never confess to John is……
  - The funniest moment I ever had with John was……
  - The moment I knew John would be my friend forever was…..
  - The time John and I got into the most trouble was when…..
  - The time I was most amazed by John was when….
2
Give a “pop quiz” on the life of the honoree. Ask questions about the life of the honoree and offer a prize for the person that knows him or her best. Be sure to include some humorous questions as well! Some example questions include:
- Where did John go to high school?
- Where did John’s family vacation when he was a child?
- What was John’s salary at his first job as a grocery delivery boy as a child?
- What was John’s favorite sibling’s name?
- What kind of pet did John have as a boy?
- What is John’s favorite story to tell?
- What kind of car did John always want to own?
3
Give a toast. Attending their 90th birthday party is a great time to let the guest of honor know how much he or she means to you. Plan a portion of time where people can give toasts if they want to.
- Include champagne (or sparkling grape juice). Make it a true toast!
- Ask several attendees beforehand to prepare a short toast. You don’t want to be left with a silent room when you propose toasting your honored guest.
4
Create a souvenir book. This will help your honoree to remember his or her special day. Ask all in attendance to sign the book and to leave a little message to the birthday celebrant.
- Contact those who will be attending beforehand, and ask them to bring a favorite picture or a favorite letter to put in the book. This book can then be given as a gift at the end of the celebration.

Community Q&A

Question

What is a good way to let party guests (for High Tea) know that I'm only serving sandwiches?

Community Answer

You can include something in the invitations about it. For example: The High Tea will consist of...
Question

What type of music should be played (in the background) for an honoree that is 90 years old?

Community Answer

Any favorites of the birthday honoree would be best. Maybe some songs from their youth or songs that they enjoy from any time period. Ask them what kind of music they like, or ask someone who knows them well.
Question

What sort of games can we 'play' at a 90th birthday?

Community Answer

Play games that everyone will enjoy. Try board games like Monopoly or checkers.