How to Choose a Gift for Your Friends

Co-authored by Ebony Eubanks, MSW, ACSW, CAMS-II

Last Updated: July 6, 2022 References

Giving gifts is a great way to show your friends that you care, but sometimes it can be difficult to find the perfect present. Luckily, with some pointers and intuition, you’ll be able to pick out the perfect gift for even the most difficult of people.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Choosing the Perfect Gift

1
Start generating ideas. Get out a piece of paper and start writing out ideas for your gift. Think about what your friend likes in terms of hobbies and interests. Narrow the list down to what sort of books, movies, or music they like. Consider what type of gift you want you buy for your friend: a funny gift, a sentimental gift, etc.
- Keep these ideas in mind as you continue to generate more ideas and narrow down your choices.
2
Pick a gift that relates to their personality. Using the mental list of information that you noted, think of gifts that speak to who they are as a person. ^{[1]
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- Buy your music-obsessed friend an album or a t-shirt from their favorite band’s merchandise. Look into fan-club memberships as well.
- Get art or craft supplies for an artistic person. Think about art projects they’d like to accomplish, or about work that they haven’t finished.
- Buy an indoor plant, wrap it properly and send it as a gift to your friend who loves gardening.
- Look for rare or quirky team memorabilia for a sporty friend. Check out EBay for autographed cards, bobbleheads, stickers or other sports items that others are unlikely to have.
- Buy toys for the person’s pets. Pets are important to their owners, and sometimes a gift for a pet can mean as much as a gift for their owner!
- Continue to think outside the box. Remember that no matter what your friend’s interests are, your gift should be thoughtful and interesting.
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3
Consider hand-making a gift. If you're giving a gift to a close friend, a good gift will be one that you and a friend can both relate to, and one with a great deal of meaning. Think of a gift that symbolizes your relationship, and remember, thoughtfulness and effort can mean more than money. ^{[2]
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- Make a gift that may reference things that you have done together.
- Make a scrapbook with all your photos. This can be a great gift, as your friend will appreciate the time you put into it, and it will bring back memories.
- Make something simple like a friendship bracelet or necklace to remind your friend of how much you care.
4
Write a letter about how much you appreciate a good friend. Sometimes, a meaningful message or letter can be more thoughtful than a physical object. Pair your letter with a gift and you'll definitely make an impression. Don’t make it too long-winded though!
- Remember, less is sometimes more. If you make your letter too long, it may start to come off as sappy or insincere.
- If you are struggling with length, think about what you value the most about your friend. You could even focus on a particular moment, like when they helped you in time of need.
5
Choose an experience over material goods. Simply spending time with someone can show them that you care, and experiences can be even more fun than a physical item that they might not get much use out of. ^{[3]
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- Take a friend out for dinner, drinks, a concert or a movie. As with physical gifts, think about your friends personality and interests and choose a gift accordingly.
- Buy your friend a membership to a local museum, aquarium or zoo. They will get free entry for a year as well as special perks for joining.
- Go a little crazy! Sometimes, gifts that seem impossible are more reasonably priced than you might imagine. Look into a horseback riding session if your friend loves animals, or skydiving if your friend is a daredevil. Rent a car and check out a state park with an adventurous friend.
6
Pay a bill for a friend. If they're going through rough times financially, sometimes an eased burden is just as meaningful to a friend as a nice gift. You could even create a fundraiser for your friend.
- For example, if you know that your friend is struggling to pay off an expensive medical bill, you could create a fundraiser for it.
- Only choose this option if you know that your friend will appreciate it. Some people are very proud and feel uncomfortable receiving financial aid from friends.
7
Consider donating to a charity on behalf of someone who has everything. Make the donation in their name, and they'll get some gifts and perks in recognition of the contribution. Make sure that the charity is something that they are interested in, however.
- For example, if your friend cares about wildlife, especially wolves, you could donate to a wolf conservation center.
8
Give them something they actually want. Sometimes, in gift giving, we go overboard thinking about how to give the absolute perfect gift. However, it’s more important to think about how the gift will affect your friend, and whether or not it is something truly useful and meaningful to them.^{[4]
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- For example, just because your friend really likes cats does not mean that they'll actually want that set of cat magnets for their refrigerator.
9
Before you give him/her, send him/her a mail wishing him for the occasion you are going to give. But do not reveal that you are going to give or what is in it. If you really can't keep the gift a secret, you could imply that you are getting them a gift--but keep the actual contents a secret!
- For example, you could say "Can't wait for your birthday surprise!" or "I know you'll get a kick out of your gift!"

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Doing Research to Make a Better Choice

1
Take note of simple information about the person. Mentally note:
- The person's gender
- Their age
- Whether they live at alone or with family
- Whether they’re in school or have graduated
2
Remember the person’s preferences. Think about things that they like or talk about, whether it’s music, movies, art or sports. Think about any skills, talents or hobbies they may have. Try to remember anything they've mentioned wanting in the past weeks, or anything they've had their eye on.
- Dig deeper. If you know that they like painting, try to find out if they have a preference: acrylic, gouache, oil, or watercolor.
3
Check out their social media profiles. They may have posted things that they’ve got their eye on or gadgets that they think are cool. Social media profiles can also give a better picture of their interests.
- Take a look at their social media posts. If they post a lot of Harry Potter or Star Wars memes, then it's safe to say that they like Harry Potter or Star Wars.
4
Find out if the person does any online shopping. They may have a wishlist on a shopping site, which will make gifting easier. You can comb through their registry and find something they’ve already selected for themselves.^{[5]
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- If they do shop online, ask if you can look over their shoulder and see what they’re shopping for.
- If you really want to surprise them, you could have the gift sent directly to their house. It would be even better if there is a gift wrapping option!
5
Go to the mall with them and see what they look at. If they’re considering buying an item but decide against it, make a mental note of it as a potential present. Take note of why they decide to go against the item. Is it because it is too expensive? Or just not in their taste?
- If your friend decided against an item that was too expensive, then they might appreciate getting it for their birthday.
- If your friend decided against something that wasn't in their taste after all, then there is no point in getting it for them--they chose not to buy it because they didn't want it.
6
Listen to see if they mention anything they want. You may overhear them talking about items they'd like to have while they're around friends or coworkers. Take note of the things they post on social media too.
- For example, if your friend posts an image of a specific makeup kit, and mentions how she wished she had it, consider getting it for her!
7
Ask for help amongst your mutual friends. They may have some ideas, and be willing to help. Ask if they’ve ever given the person a gift in the past, how they reacted to it. This may give you a good idea of what to give them (and what hasn’t gone over well).
- This is an especially good idea if the gift is very expensive or a gag gift. If you aren't sure how your friend will react to it, definitely ask mutual friends.
8
Ask the person’s parent, sibling or other relative. They probably know them very well, and can give some advice. They’ll have more intuition about things that the person has been wanting lately.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Keeping Your Gift in Scope

1
Think about how close you are with the receiver of the gift. Take stock of how many years you’ve known them, how big a part of your life they are, and how important they are to your future.
- Best friends are deserving of very meaningful, personal gifts that reflect your years of friendship.
- Don’t give people you have just met or don’t know too well overly personal or expensive gifts. Expensive gifts may give them the idea that you’re just trying to impress them, while overly personal gifts might come off as too forward.
2
Keep in mind the occasion for the gift. Christmas and birthdays are big, important holidays for which larger gift giving is acceptable. However, there are many holidays like Easter, Wedding Anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day that require different levels and types of gift giving.
- For example, people tend to focus more on Christmas than St. Patrick's day. As such, you might want to give them the bigger gift on Christmas.
3
Get bigger gifts for big number birthdays (21, 30 or 50). Let your friend know how much you truly care with an extra thoughtful gift, or by throwing them a surprise party. Be sensitive to your friend's needs and situation, however.
- For example, if no one is around to celebrate your friend's birthday and they are not celebrating a big number, you could still get them a nice gift.
4
Give appropriate gifts for themed parties. Make sure that your gifts fit tradition when attending a bridal or baby shower. A mom-to-be probably won’t appreciate a cast iron skillet any more than a bride-to-be might appreciate a box of diapers!
5
Find a perfect gift cover. Gift covers are very effective. You can use a gift cover of hearts if you are gifting him/her for their marriage. You can use gift cover of a baby if you are gifting on her becoming mother. If it is her/him on there birthday you can use a gift wrap of balloons design or bell designed gift wrap. Or if it is your personal occasion you can also create a gift wrap with yours and his/her's images. Just you and him/her.

Expert Q&A

Question

What can I give my girl best friend?

Ebony Eubanks, MSW, ACSW, CAMS-II
Therapist
Ebony Eubanks is a Therapist, and Founder and CEO of Peaceful Living Counseling and Professional Services of Philadelphia, PA and in Hockessin, DE. With over a decade of experience providing counseling and coaching to individuals, couples, and groups, she specializes in depression, anxiety, couples work, life guidance coaching, and anger management. Ebony holds a Master’s in Social Work from Temple University and is a member of the Academy of Certified Social Workers. She is a Certified Anger Management Specialist-II, Level II trained Gottman Couples Therapist. and Certified Gestalt Therapist. Ebony also holds additional certifications in Advanced Clinician Training.

Ebony Eubanks, MSW, ACSW, CAMS-II

Therapist

Expert Answer

Give her something that she can enjoy at a later date, like a ticket to a concert or fun event. This shows her that you're paying attention to what she likes, which she'll definitely appreciate.
Question

Is a piece of jewelry with the person's birthstone on it a good gift?

Community Answer

It would be a lovely gift, thoughtful and generous. However, if your friend doesn't wear jewelry, this might not go over too well. Make sure to get the correct birthstone. A gift like this would be fantastic with a nice card with it.
Question

How do I find a gift for someone who reads a lot?

Community Answer

Find the kind of books they really like and choose one of those, either by author or by genre. If you're not sure, you could give a voucher to a bookstore or an online store voucher. Other possible ideas include a reading light, an electronic reader, a cover for an electronic reader you know they own, bookmarks, a subscription to a favorite magazine or a first edition of an author they really love (this is likely to be rather expensive).

Warnings

Be careful buying clothes for someone. Buying sizes that are too large or too small might be frustrating to them, and they’ll have to be returned. And while you may think that you’re buying a piece of clothing that’s just their taste, your subtle style preferences might not end up matching with theirs.

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Getting gift cards may be appreciated by some people, but to others, gift cards are signs that you didn’t try very hard. While the person may love coffee, there may be more thoughtful gifts for them than a coffee gift card.

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Keep it civil. While you might think you know the person well, sometimes gag-gifts and gifts with off-color humor may offend them or anyone who’s around when the gift is opened.

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Take off the price tag. They might feel bad for you on how much you spent.

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