How to Confess Sins

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Last Updated: November 23, 2021 Approved

Do you seek repentance for all your sins? Do you want our Lord to forgive you for all your trespasses? While not all religions have a formal process for confessing your sins like the Roman Catholic Church, atonement is a major part of many spiritual practices. Whether you want to just get something off your chest or you want to see a priest, confessing sins is a large part of many faiths.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Examining your Conscience Before Confession

1
Take an honest, open appraisal of your sins before confessing. Known in the church as an "examination of conscience," reflecting on your spiritual and moral life is imperative before you end up in the confessional. Make a note, either mentally or on a piece of paper, about the sins you've committed since your last confession. Pay particular attention to the ones that still feel fresh, or that you really want to confess for. To start this examination, ask two questions:
- "In what ways did I sin?"
- "When did I fail to do the good or right thing when I should have?"
2
Think back on the sins you've committed since your last confession. You should focus on the sins most pressing on your mind. That said, nothing is too small for confessional. If it weighs on your soul, now is the time to let it out in a safe environment. Think about:
- Insults, fights, or rudeness to loved ones.
- Cheating, even small amounts.
- Lying, stealing or hurting someone for personal gain.
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3
Reflect back on the good deeds you ignored, and the subtle sins you may have committed. Even if you didn't do something obviously wrong, we can all improve on the times we forgot to do something right. Think about ways you've cut corners or ignored the plights of others. Remember, while confession is about releasing your sins, it is also about becoming a better person who sins less in the future. Think about times you didn't do anything negative or positive and find ways to make those moments positive in the future.
- Have you prayed every day? Do you feel connected to God?
- Do you do the bare minimum for your loved ones, or do you go above and beyond?
- Do you take the easy way out, or push yourself to be a better person and servant of God?
4
Think about the sins you've committed against yourself. This is probably the least remembered type of sin, though everyone goes through periods of it in their life. Think about the times you were filled with self-pity, they days you cheated yourself out of a life goal or happiness, and the times you abused or neglected your own well-being. You need to treat all people with love and respect -- but that has to start with yourself.
5
Ensure that you feel actual remorse for your sins. Know this: confession is not some mechanical exchange were just entering the booth immediately washes away your wrongdoing. If you don't actually feel bad about what you've done then confession means absolutely nothing. Remember, this is between you and your God -- not just you and the priest.
6
Refer to the Catholic Church's guides for personal examination to help reflect. Sometimes the best way to see your flaws is to turn to an outside source. The Catholic Diocese published "sample examinations" for various groups of people. They contain useful questions, information on certain sins and current issues, and perspective on the problems you're currently facing. To start, check out their guides for:
- Married Couples
- Single People
- Young Adults
- Children

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Confessing to A Priest

1
Know the difference between a "venial sin" and "mortal sin". In confession, all mortal sins are required to be confessed in order for a confession to be valid and for God to forgive your sins. Venial sins are not required to be confessed, but it is strongly recommended you do so. Venial sins are automatically forgiven after attending mass.
- A mortal sin is a very serious sin that ends your relationship with God and will prevent you from receiving the Eucharist indefinitely until you confess and repent. If you die with a mortal sin left unrepentant, you will go to Hell. In order for a sin to be mortal, all three conditions must be met (If one of them are missing, no mortal sin can be committed):
1. The sin involves grave matter. This means the sin is very evil and severe and violates the 10 commandments. Examples of grave sins (Sins eligible to be mortal if the two conditions below are also met) are murder, abortion, rape, fraud, abusing or selling illegal drugs, arson, bullying, adultery (cheating on your spouse, fiancee, or boyfriend/girlfriend), or fighting someone with the intent to seriously injure them or kill them.
2. The sinner must fully understand the sin they are about to commit is a mortal sin.
3. The sinner chooses to do it anyway at their free will.
- A venial sin is a minor sin that can hurt your relationship with God, but is not severe enough to end your relationship with him or send you to Hell. However, venial sins do not give you a "free pass" to do it, it can possibly lead you to commit a mortal sin. God may assign you to purgatory, where you will temporarily be punished with suffering, but unlike Hell, purgatory is temporary and upon completing your punishment, you can enter Heaven afterward. Fortunately, most sins are venial sins (very few offenses qualify as mortal sins). A venial sin occurs when:
1. The sin is minor (does not involve grave matter). Examples of minor sins are stealing $10 from your parents without asking, shoplifting a bottle of Coke, flipping off another driver, cheating on a school test, getting involved in a bar fight, and breaking civil laws of your jurisdiction. Even if the sinner knew it was a sin and chooses to do it at their free will, minor sins cannot "add up" to be mortal sins, but may tempt you to do so.
2. The sin did involve grave matter, but the sinner either was not aware their action was a grave matter or they were forced to do it by someone else.
2
Confide your sin in a priest, or a trusted friend, relative, or authority figure, whenever possible. Whenever you can, go to a priest for confession -- they have the knowledge and skills to help you the most. While everyone has their own special connection with God, but most Christian leaders suggest confessing sins to another. This gets the weight off your chest, provides someone to offer guidance and advice, and allows you to make things better with the help of a friend. If there is no priest around, a trusted confidant will do.
- If you've sinned against someone, you should first go and confess to them. Make things right with them and the rest will follow.
- Confessing to another person is not a necessity -- it is only recommended. You can confess your sins alone to god as well.
- The reasoning for confession can be found in John 5:16: "Confess your sins to one another ... that you may be healed."
3
Go to your local church and look up confession hours. You can usually find them in the church bulletin, on the door of the confessional, or by asking a priest or church staff member.
4
Begin with a sign of the cross and a brief prayer from the priest. Both of you begin with "In the name of the Father, the Son, etc..." before the priest says a few brief words. He may read a short passage, or he may say something along the lines of, "May the Lord be in your heart and help you to confess your sins with true sorrow." Once he has stopped speaking you may begin your confession.
5
Start your confession by asking for forgiveness. Begin by saying, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been _________ day/months since my last confession." This is considered the beginning of your actual confession.^{[1]
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- Don't worry if the words aren't exactly right -- asking for forgiveness and starting your last confession are the crucial parts.
- Some people prefer the less judgmental-sounding, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
6
Slowly, without fear or shame, recount your sins to the priest. Do not feel like you must hold back, feel embarrassed, or lie. Nothing you say in a confession can be repeated outside of the confessional -- even if you were to threaten to murder someone (including the priest himself). The point of a confession is to unburden your soul with the help of another. This sacred bond of trust, known as the Seal of the Confessional, is there to protect you and help you freely open up.^{[2]
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7
Make a determined inner effort to move past your sins and avoid them later in life. Determine what those sins should not be what you are or what you do, and repudiate them. Resolve in your heart or inner being that you have repented and will not return to them. This is a deeply personal moment and one that requires strength and courage to follow through with. This, however, is why you come to confession after examining your conscience.
8
Listen to the priest's response and discuss how to move forward. He will absolve you of all your sins, and tell you how much the Lord loves you. If you need, ask questions, add small details when needed, and engage with the priest. This is a conversation, not some a car wash, and you should feel free to engage in the process and work through issues with your priest.
- At the end of the confession, the priest gives you a "penance." This is a task or tasks that you must complete for forgiveness.
9
Carry out your penance as soon as you can. Do not put this off. Whatever the priest has assigned for you to do, get right to it while the memory and feelings of spirituality are still hot. Penance is a way to bring you closer to your sins, helping you learn from them. It is not punishment. When you start looking at it as a chance for self-improvement, the ability to complete your penance is much easier.

Rosary Prayer

Rosary in English

Rosary in Latin

Community Q&A

Question

Can I just confess to God?

Community Answer

Definitely. You can confess in the library, in prison, in a store, in your closet, in your bedroom --anywhere. As long as you confess wholeheartedly and you understand the wrongdoings done, God will always forgive.
Question

What if I'm afraid to confess?

Community Answer

The only person you need to confess your sins to is God and He already knows your sins, so there's nothing to be afraid of. If you're worried about confessing to a priest, remember that they have heard the worst of everybody's sins, so yours won't come as any kind of shock.
Question

What if my church doesn't have "confession of sin" time?

Community Answer

You can always talk directly to your priest and ask if he offers confession by appointment. If not, look into other churches, or ask you spiritual leader for an "informal" chance to talk about your past sins together.

Warnings

When confessing your sins, you must confess all of them, and do not intentionally omit any sins. Otherwise, God will not forgive any of your sins.

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