A Complete Guide to Getting Her Number

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: March 10, 2023

As a teenager, seeing a girl you like can be exciting and stressful. It can be hard to figure out how to talk to her, let alone get her number! Don't worry—we've got your back. Read on to learn all the essential tips and tricks about how to get her phone number (without it being awkward!).

1

Get to know the girl.

Say hello and strike up a conversation. Introduce yourself and ask questions about her.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} If things don't go well, try sparking up another conversation with her later. Do your best to keep her engaged.
- Getting to know her is the first step. Some people say that you should ask for a girl's number before they've even spoken with her for more than two minutes. However, this usually only works well if you know that you won't see her again for a long while.
- Spend some time with her and befriend her, but don't hang around her all the time and abandon your friends (or keep her from hers). If she feels like she's giving her number to a (non-clingy) friend and not a potential boyfriend/girlfriend, she may feel more comfortable about giving you her number. Be careful about setting up too much of a platonic relationship.
- Try to set her at ease when you talk to her. If she thinks you're creepy or dangerous, she won't want to give you her number.

2

Try to keep the conversation going.

The more deeply you talk with her, the more likely she'll want to give you her number. Try to find out more about her: who she is, what she likes to do, why she likes to do it. Before you ask for her number, you should find out if the two of you even like to talk to each other.
- One way to keep things going is to ask if you can walk with her; another is to sit next to her in class. Whatever tactic you use, make sure she's enjoying the conversation as much as you are.
- If she isn't responsive, take a hint and leave her alone for a while. See if she comes to you. If she doesn't engage, then don't force it. Don't worry if she doesn't talk to you; it happens to everyone.

3

Ask for her number.

Tell her you would like to meet up and get to know her better. If you're feeling cool and confident, and she's enjoying herself with you, chances are she'll say yes and give you her number.
- Try to be clear about it. Don't stutter, don't hesitate, and don't beat around the bush. Just say, "Hey, can I have your number?"
- Don't have anyone else do it for you. Don't ask her friend for her number. If you're going to impress her and do it right, you need to work up the courage to ask her yourself.

4

Be casual about it.

Asking for a girl's number should not feel like a big deal. It should feel natural! Don't build it up in your head beforehand.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} A phone number isn't automatically going to change everything: it's possible to date a girl without ever getting her number, and it's possible to get a girl's number when she doesn't terribly want to date you. Try not to draw the process out or make it more complicated than it needs to be. Don't make her think twice about giving you her number.

5

Find a reason to talk to her.

If you're uncomfortable asking for her number, try to find a legitimate purpose for asking. "Hey, can I have your number so that we can ____?" Having someone's phone number makes planning and coordinating things much easier. Even if you're making plans to hang out with her in a group, having her number might help. Once you have her number, you can always text her about other things – like hanging out.
- If you've made plans to study with her, ask for her number to make it easier. Say, "Hey, can I get your number so that we can make plans to study?"
- If you're going somewhere with a big group, ask for her number to help get together with the group. Say, "Tonight seems like it's going to be pretty hectic, and I might be a bit late. Can I get your number so that I can find you guys if I have any trouble?"

6

Partner up with her for a project.

Give her your number if you need to work on it outside of class. This is a somewhat smooth way to go about this; even if she suspects what you're trying to do, she might not do anything about it because you really do need to talk about the project outside of class. Make sure to actually talk about the project, especially at first. Don't immediately just go, "Hey, what's up?", or she'll get what you're trying to do and may not appreciate it.

7

Suggest hanging out sometime.

As part of your suggestion, ask for her number so you two can discuss plans later. Make sure you've been friends with her for a while before you do this! There isn't necessarily a set "right time" for this; just request her number when you feel like she's comfortable with you. It really depends on how well you connect.

8

Be understanding if she turns you down.

Don't be rude and brush her off. Say something like "Okay, that's no problem. I'll see you around." Girls don't like it if they feel you are being too pushy – so just be friendly. This makes the girl think you are easy-going, and so she might give you her number some other time.
- A lot of the time girls just want to figure out what kind of person you are. If you can, strike up a polite and friendly conversation about something that she's into (or a teacher, a club, or a particular subject).
- Consider simply invite her and her friends out with you and your friends. You could go bowling and get an ice cream after, or you could go to a movie, or hang out in the park. This way, she can see what kind of person you are, and it may inspire her to give you her number.

9

Text her soon, but keep it short.

If you succeed in getting her number, she is probably pretty excited to talk to you as well. The old rule about waiting three days to call isn't really relevant in a society that is connected 24/7. It is okay to contact her later that day or the next, but keep it short and sweet. Something like "How is your day going?" Is a good way to start.^{[3]
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10

Start slow.

Ask her how she's doing, but don't feel the need to get her entire life story from the first text conversation. Don't start sending novels on how everything is going for you, and don't start asking multiple questions at once. There is no need to rush things! You have plenty of time to get to know each other, and you may as well enjoy the journey.

11

Send her a text when you get up, or when you arrive home.

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You can also send her a text to let her know you're going to bed soon. This is a great time to talk to her about what she's been up to, or to ask her a question you've been pondering about her. If you're sending a text during the day, try to limit it to a maximum of three or four messages. Don't bombard her with questions. You don't need to ask her anything more than you need to.

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Image titled Get a Girl's Number as a Teen Step 14

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- Consider finding a reason to cut the conversation short. If you've gotten a good talk going, and you find a natural lull, you can say, "It's been great talking to you, but I need to go to practice now. I'll talk to you later :)" If things were going well, then this might leave her wanting more.
- If the first few texts naturally bloom into a huge, days-long conversation over multiple messaging media – let it happen. This almost certainly means that she likes you.

12

Gauge her responses.

If she seems engaged, you don't need to think twice about texting her. If she's giving short, one-word answers to everything you say, then it's a good indication that she isn't really interested. In this case, texting her more won't make her like you more; indeed, it may make her want to avoid you.
- If you ask her a question and she sends you a long answer—at least a few sentences—then you should definitely keep asking questions. If she asks you questions back, that's even better.
- If you ask her a (deeper than yes-or-no) question and she responds with "yeah" or "idk" or anything along those lines – she is probably either shy or uninterested.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I get my crush's phone number fast?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Just approach them and be direct. Introduce yourself and give them a compliment before asking for their number.
Question

What if I don't have a cell phone, only a landline?

Community Answer

Landlines can still send and receive phone calls. Just let the girl know that you're calling from a landline, so if she returns the call, she may have to ask whoever answers to speak to you.
Question

How can I get a girl to like me and eventually ask for my phone number?

Community Answer

Girls generally like to have guys ask for their numbers, not the other way around. But if you are a shy person, try small gestures (like notes). Also try to befriend her first; just be careful not to get friend-zoned and you should be on the pathway to a meaningful phone number.