Shampooing daily dries out your hair and removes the oils that would soften your hair naturally. To get soft hair, you need to compensate for this oil loss. You should wash your hair every few days, condition it with natural oils, brush it gently, and avoid water that is especially hot or hard.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Washing Your Hair

  1. 1
    Shampoo hair. Use warm water and work your hair into a healthy lather. Washing it every few days will remove all the dirt off, leaving it soft and manageable.[1]
    • Comb your hair gently before you rinse out the shampoo. Do not use a brush while your hair is wet, but use one after you've rinsed the shampoo away. Rinse the shampoo off once you have combed your hair.
    • Avoid washing your hair with scalding hot water. Scalding water steals away the natural moisturizing oils from the hair. Use warm to cold water instead.
  2. 2
    Don't over-wash hair. Hair has natural oils that come out with soap and water, and though conditioner can help replenish this oil, natural is better. Be sure to brush hair thoroughly, as this spreads these oils throughout the hair. For people with kinky or curly hair that frizzes when it is brushed, hair brushing should be done when hair is wet.[2]
    • Simply wetting hair without washing, and before brushing can work, though you might want to apply a serum or leave-in conditioner that will help your hair from becoming overly frizzy.
    • People with oily hair can wash it more often, but people with dry hair should not wash their hair more than twice a week.
    • If you still want to clean your hair during the week, you can apply a dry shampoo to your hair a few times during the week. This will clean your hair without stripping it of the natural oils.[3]
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  3. 3
    Purchase a filter for your shower head. You can find one at most hardware stores and home-and-garden stores. It will filter out the chlorine and various minerals from the water, resulting in healthier hair and skin.
  4. 4
    Use water softeners to combat hard water. Dilute a tablespoon of powdered water softener (e.g., Calgon or 20-mule Borax) in a cup of warm water. Use it first to rinse shampoo out of your hair. Rinse out the rest of your shampoo in the shower. This will rid your hair of any residue from dirt and other hair products, including chemicals in your shampoo. Your hair should feel squeaky clean.[4]
    • This softening treatment should not strip your hair of any natural nutrients, so feel free to use it every day.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Conditioning Your Hair

  1. 1
    Use conditioner. Always condition your hair after shampooing with a dime-sized dab of conditioner. This will help keep your hair soft and smooth. Don't completely wash out all of the conditioner. Just leave a little in after you take a shower – enough to make your hair feel smooth while it's wet. Salon-quality products are best, if you can afford them, and some conditioners are actually designed to make your hair softer.[5]
  2. 2
    Use oils at least once a week. Provide your hair with the supplements and nourishment that it needs by washing or misting your hair, massaging it with oil, and then thoroughly washing out the oil. This may help your hair retain the luster and softness that you want. Massage a few drops into your hair at night, and you may wake up with soft, shiny hair.[6]
    • Try using a mixture of pure coconut oil and almond oil. Avocado, tea tree, castor, rosemary, lavender, olive, and argan oil may also help soften your hair.[7]
    • Consider treating your hair to a deep conditioning with hot oil once a week. Use natural oils like rosemary and lavender. If you don't like the smell of those oils, use a store-bought oil that is clear enough to see through.
    • Rub in an anti-frizz hair oil on the bottom half of your hair. A dime-sized amount should be enough.
  3. 3
    Avoid using hot styling tools like a curling wand and a flat iron. The heat causes your hair to become damaged and dull. Excessive curling burns your hair, turning it hard, crispy, and bristly. You may be able to partially repair your split ends with pure argan oil, but the only way to vanquish them completely is to get your hair cut.[8]
  4. 4
    Try preparing a hair-conditioning mask. You can spread your hair with honey, egg yolk, or eggshells for a natural softening experience. Leave the mask on your hair for 15 minutes to an hour, then wash it out thoroughly with shampoo. You can leave it on overnight, though this may not significantly boost the softening effect. Just be careful not to deep condition too often, as deep conditioners can tend to create a buildup on the hair and even make hair brittle.[9]
    • Prepare a hair conditioning mask from honey. Apply honey mask to your scalp and massage it for five minutes so that it spreads all over hair. Keep this mask on hair for 20 minutes and then wash it. Honey helps hair to restore moisture. It also helps prevent infections, keeping your hair smooth and silky.
    • Prepare an egg mask by mixing a few lemon drops to an egg white. After properly mixing all the ingredients apply this conditioner to hair and leave it for 15 minutes. This home remedy not only provides softness, but also clears the dandruff and makes hair strong.
    • Crush eggshells into a powdery texture. then mix a little bit of water until it is not diluted but enough to stick to your hair. Then, apply the crushed eggshells over the area you want to soften. Leave it to dry for 30 minutes to 1 hour, depending on how soft you want your hair. Then rinse the eggshells off.
  5. 5
    Avoid excessive hairspray use. Over time, hairspray can build up and harden on your hair.[10]
  6. 6
    Avoid dying or highlighting your hair. Coloring will dry out your hair, and all the chemicals thrown in during the process will not help your hair soften.
  7. 7
    Apply leave-in conditioner or dry shampoo after you've shampooed, conditioned, combed, and towel-dried your hair. Then, wrap your hair in a towel. After a few minutes, take out the towel and spritz your hair with a silkening spray. Comb the spray through your hair, and dry. Once you're done, spritz on a bit of shine spray and brush it in. Apply extra to the ends of your hair.[11]
  8. 8
    Take vitamin supplements. Certain supplements, such as Omega-3 oil, fish egg phospholipids, and vitamin E, improve the shine and growth of your hair. You can get these in a gel-capsule at local health stores.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Drying and Brushing Your Hair

  1. 1
    Towel your hair dry. Put a towel over your head and gently dab the moisture away hair. You can also tilt your head and wipe a few chunks of hair at a time. Dry your hair completely by sitting in front of a fan to let the fan dry your hair, and then brush your hair gently and thoroughly.
    • Try to use soft towels, such as those woven from cotton or microfiber. Rougher towels may damage your hair.
  2. 2
    Blow-dry your hair, but only sparingly. Blow-drying can make your hair softer, shinier, and more manageable. Avoid blow-drying your hair every day, and do not blow your hair for more than a few minutes. Heat-based products like blow dryers and flat irons can substantially damage your hair, leading to dryness.[12]
    • Consider getting a professional blow-out at a salon. This may be best if you constantly flat-iron or blow-dry your hair, as it is a less damaging way to get your hair straight. Some of the blow-outs may cause damage to your hair, so make sure that you go to a well-reviewed professional to minimize damage.
  3. 3
    Consider using a brush with natural bristles. Ditch your brush with plastic bristles for one with natural bristles, such as a boar's hair brush. The natural bristles will distribute your hair's natural oils over your hair from roots to tips, ensuring that it stays soft and shiny. The plastic-bristle brush can actually strip your hair of its oils, making it greasy, stringy, and broken. The grease results from your hair trying to replace its natural oils.
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Community Q&A

  • Question
    Wouldn't the hair become very rough and dry if I use shampoo every few days?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    This depends on what kind of hair you have. If you have curly hair, it would get rough and dry if you did it every few days. But if you have straight hair, it would be less rough and dry. You can also apply coconut oil an hour before you take a shower, to reduce dryness.
  • Question
    Can I get soft hair without using conditioner?
    Pretty Little Psycho
    Pretty Little Psycho
    Community Answer
    You could use a leave-in conditioner or hair mask. If you don't want to buy a hair product at all, you can try argan oil or coconut oil. However, it is really advisable to use conditioner for best results.
  • Question
    How can I soften very dry hair?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Try a coconut oil hair mask. Dampen your hair first, then massage coconut oil into it. Tuck your hair under a shower cap and wait 30 to 60 minutes. Rinse your out afterwards using your usual shampoo. Repeat this once a week, or until your hair texture improves.
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Warnings

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Things You'll Need

  • High quality shampoo and conditioner
  • Water softener
  • Comb
  • Leave-in conditioner or dry shampoo

About This Article

Arthur Sebastian
Co-authored by:
Professional Hair Stylist
This article was co-authored by Arthur Sebastian. Arthur Sebastian is the Owner of Arthur Sebastian Hair Salon in San Francisco, California. Arthur has worked as a hair stylist for over 20 years and received his Cosmetology License in 1998. He believes that the true work of a successful hair stylist comes from passion and a love for hairdressing. This article has been viewed 759,535 times.
13 votes - 69%
Co-authors: 89
Updated: March 14, 2023
Views: 759,535
Categories: Hair Texture
Article SummaryX

If you want to have soft hair, wash your hair 2 or 3 times a week in cold water. After washing it, apply a dime-size amount of conditioner and rinse it out to keep it hydrated. While it may be tempting to wash your hair every day, this will dry it out and can leave it damaged. Instead, wet your hair down in the morning and apply a serum or or leave-in conditioner to prevent frizz. For extra soft hair, massage a few drops of coconut or almond oil into your hair at night. To learn how to style your hair to keep it soft, read on!

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