How to Make Your Boyfriend Love to Kiss

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: November 7, 2022 References Approved

Having a boyfriend is great, but if he doesn't seem to like kissing, it can make you wonder if he's actually interested! Most guys who seem hesitant to kiss are really just shy or confused about what to do, while others prefer to be the one to take the lead. Learning how to show interest, improve your kissing technique, and let your boyfriend take the lead can all help you teach your boyfriend to love kissing you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Showing Interest

1
Tell him you'd like to kiss more. Some guys don't kiss that much because they're shy. If he's not sure if you're okay with being kissed, he may avoid kissing you. Tell him openly that you want to be kissed.^{[1]
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- Just say something simple like “I really like it when we kiss” or “I would love to kiss you.”
- It's okay to feel shy about this. If you aren't comfortable just saying "I want to kiss you," you don't have to!
- If you get a negative response, like him drawing away or even just saying "no," it's okay to be hurt by it. But it probably has more to do with his own fears than it does with you. Try to handle it maturely by telling him you don't need to kiss now.
2
Discuss his reluctance to kiss. If you feel comfortable talking about it with him, you can ask him openly if he's okay with kissing you, and you can also ask him why he doesn't kiss you more. It's okay to tell a guy that you're confused about what he's doing! It's also okay to not have that conversation if you don't want to.

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3
Compliment his kissing. He might need a little confidence boost before he can really feel comfortable kissing you. Tell him what you liked about his kissing. Be as open as possible. Try saying something like “I love the way your lips feel when you kiss me hard.”^{[2]
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- If you've never kissed, try saying something like "I feel like you're a really good kisser."
- If you've kissed before and it was awkward, that's okay! Try saying "We can improve our technique together!"
4
Kiss him first.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Try making the first move to show him that you're really interested. You don't need to attack him or kiss him randomly or anything. Just wait until the moment feels right, lean towards him, and give him a kiss. You don't have to kiss his mouth--kissing his cheek or neck can show that you want more kissing.^{[4]
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- Some good moments might be while he's looking into your eyes, or immediately after he says something nice about you.
5
Give him a quick kiss every time you see him. Show him you'd like to do more kissing by giving him a quick peck on the cheek or lips every time you see him. You don't need to make a big production out of it--just lean in and kiss him before you say hello.^{[5]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Improving Your Technique

1
Make sure your breath is fresh. It's hard to enjoy kissing someone with bad breath. If you're worried about fresh breath, make sure you brush, floss, and use mouthwash at least twice a day. You can also carry breath mints or gum with you and use them before you see your boyfriend.^{[6]
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- Avoid eating foods like onions, garlic, or fish before kissing.
2
Draw attention to your lips. Try applying lipstick, lip gloss, or shiny lip balm to your mouth to draw attention to it. He'll notice your lips more if you draw his attention there.
3
Kiss with your eyes closed. If you kiss with your eyes open, it might make your boyfriend feel awkward. Try closing your eyes when you kiss. It's more intimate and romantic that way.^{[7]
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- Try placing your hand gently on his neck, back, or side while you kiss.
4
Use techniques he likes. Think about how he kisses and start using those same techniques. If he kisses softly and gently, make sure your kisses are the same way. If he prefers harder, more passionate kisses, let yourself respond to him naturally.^{[8]
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- Try quick kisses, soft, gentle kisses, or even open-mouthed kisses to see what interests him.
- You shouldn't do anything you're uncomfortable with, though! Don't be afraid to say “I don't like that.”
5
Practice kissing with him. It's okay to just talk to your boyfriend about practicing kissing together. Tell him you're worried about your technique and that you'd like to practice with him. Most guys will be thrilled to hear that!^{[9]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Letting Him Take the Lead

1
Hint that you want to be kissed. Some guys find it a little intimidating when their partner takes the lead. Show him you're interested without making him feel awkward by just hinting that you'd like to be kissed instead of doing it.^{[10]
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- Try saying something like “This is such a romantic place” or “I really like you” and gazing into his eyes.
2
Lean in towards him. Leaning towards your boyfriend is a great way to let him know you'd like to be kissed without actually saying so.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} Just look into his eyes and lean slowly towards his face. Most guys will respond by kissing you.^{[12]
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- If he doesn't kiss you, respect his boundaries. Lean back and try a different approach later.
3
Hug him or touch him first.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Hugging and touching usually leads to kissing! Show him you're interested by giving him a hug or brushing your hand against his side or shoulders. This is a great way to let him take the lead without asking him to.^{[14]
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4
Follow his lead. If he prefers to be the one to kiss you, he might be turned off or intimidated when you try to kiss him. If you notice that he pulls back when you make the first move, let him show you how he likes to kiss.^{[15]
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- Check his body language for clues. If he stands as closely to you as possible, touches you, or puts his arm around you, he's showing that he's interested.^{[16]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} If he avoids contact with you, you may need to talk about his level of interest.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I get my boyfriend to kiss me?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Try giving him a compliment so he feels more comfortable around you. Then touch his arm or give him a big hug before looking in his eyes. If he still doesn't get your hints, don't be afraid to lean in for the kiss yourself.
Question

How can I give a good kiss to my boyfriend?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

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Follow his lead and be sure he's comfortable with everything. Start slow and escalate it more if he seems interested.
Question

How do I make him touch me?

Community Answer

Try touching him too! Touch his shoulders, sides, and face to show him that you're comfortable touching and being touched.

Warnings

Avoid telling other people that your boyfriend doesn't like kissing. If word gets out, it could make him even less interested.

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If he is refusing to kiss you but insists on having sex with you, then he may not be interested in you as a romantic partner.

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He may simply not feel that much interest in you. If you can't get him to show interest in kissing you and he doesn't want to work on it, you may have to break up.

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