How to Meet Girls Online

Co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Last Updated: June 7, 2022 Approved

You can meet women without ever leaving your house. How? Go online! Here's how to be successful with online dating.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Setting Up a Compelling Profile

1
Choose an online dating site. If you're looking to date around, an online dating site is a safer bet than regular social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. Here are a few you can consider^{[1]
X
Research source}:
- Free sites: PlentyofFish, OkCupid Tastebuds.fm (based on taste in music), PassionsNetwork, DateHookup, Mamba (Russian-based).
- Paid sites: Match.com, eHarmony, True.com, Lavalife, Lovestruck (UK, Hong Kong and Singapore), Zoosk, Meetic.
- If finding a partner who shares your religion is important to you, consider^{[2]
  X
  Research source}:
  - Christians: ChristianMingle, ChristianCafe, RainbowChristians (LGBT)
  - Catholics: CatholicMatch
  - Jews: JDate, SawYouAtSinai
  - Mormons: LDSSingles, MormonDating, LDSplanet
  - Muslims: Muslima, ShaadiConnections
  - Buddhists: BuddhistConnect
  - Seventh-day Adventists: Adventist Singles Connection
  - Pagans: AonghusOg
  - Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, Sikhs, Jains and others: ShaadiConnections.
  - Atheists: FreeThinkerMatch
2
Note that the above points are domain names to niche online sites, which have the .com missing per WikiHow linking policy.

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3
Start building your profile. This is probably the most important step in the whole process. Your profile is your first impression in the online dating world, and it can make or break whether potential partners are interested in you. Consider these areas:
- Your username. Consider basing it in your initials, favorite number, or favorite hobby. Avoid using words like "hot," "sexy," "daddy," or any sexualized descriptor in your username — most women will read it as creepy.
- Choose a good profile picture. Your profile picture should follow three rules: it should be recent, provide a good look at your face, and make you seem approachable. If you don't currently have a photo that fits this description, take a new one! Bring along a camera next time you go to a social event, and ask a friend to take a quick snap of you.
  - Avoid professional headshots. They're too stilted for an online dating site, and you'll look like you're trying too hard.
- Your bio. Most websites will provide a short bio or "about me" section for you to fill in. Don't write a novel, but do provide enough information that potential partners will feel like they're gaining a sense of who you are. You can discuss your hobbies, your goals, what you look for in a relationship, any children you have, or whatever else defines you as a person.
  - Resist the urge to vent about your previous relationship. "Recently divorced from a lying, cheating harlot" reads as "bitter and angry" instead of "dateable and balanced."
- Your interests. Some sites will have a separate area for you to list interests or hobbies. Sports, musical genres or groups, crafts, historical periods, movie genres, types of food, travel destinations, and books are all appropriate topics for this part of your profile.
- Who you're interested in meeting. Try not to be too restrictive on these parameters. You never know — your soulmate might only be a year or two older than the top age you specify. Keep your ranges broad, and remember that you're not obligated to date everyone who contacts you.
  - Be honest about what you're looking for and what your intentions are.
  - If you're asked to describe in writing the type of girl you'd like to meet, this is the place to knock it out of the park. Don't say "I just want someone to talk to" — no girl wants to be "just someone to talk to" when another man will call her a princess or the light of his life. Talk up your future partner in the best terms you can muster. For instance, you might try something like "I'm looking for the woman of my dreams, who will share my passion for cooking, cycling and honesty, and who will allow me to treat her like the queen she is."
- Your contact settings. Some sites allow you to pick and choose who can see your profile or contact you. If you want to get a lot of responses, make sure it's easy for people to message or email you.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Communicating with Potential Partners

1
Be a gentleman. If your mother taught you manners, now is the time to break them out. (If not, that's why you're here!) Being polite and kind to everyone you interact with communicates that you're a quality person, online and off, who's worthy of respect and attention. Pay particular attention to these points:
- Use correct grammar and spelling. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginning of sentences, and run your message through spell check first if you're unsure. (Most word processors or email clients now have spell check if your browser does not.)
- Make a polite introduction. If someone messages you, note that you were delighted to receive their message and give out a little more information about yourself. If you message someone, tell her more about yourself and express that you'd love to get to know her.
- Keep it elegant. Remember, if she wanted to meet a slouchy, rude, abrupt barfly, she would have gone to the bar. Instead, she came to the Internet to meet guys like you, so try to step it up a bit. Don't ask what she's wearing or what her figure is like, don't push for pictures right away, and don't ask for highly personal specifics at first (such as where she works or her full name). Instead, focus on her personal interests, her goals, and anything you share in common.
- Avoid being too aggressive or forward.
2
Stand out. Most women who use online dating sites get a lot of messages. If you decide to send a lady something, try to make it compelling and different from the rest of what she sees. Ask her a question about her profile, make a tasteful joke, or just be bold and say something like "You're gorgeous, and you seem fascinating. I'd love nothing more than getting to know you."
3
Know how to keep a conversation rolling. So you've gotten a nice girl to notice you — now what? How you manage the conversation will determine where the connection goes, but it's easier than you might think. Here's how to continue interacting with her:
- Let her talk about herself. Keep in mind that most people are comfortable talking about themselves, because it's a topic they know well. Nervousness might tempt you to keep the conversation focused on yourself, but resist. A big part of being a good conversationalist is being a good listener.
- Ask her questions that are thought-provoking, but not too personal. Asking your potential ladylove what she does for fun on the weekends is perfectly fine; asking her if she's divorced or had a hysterectomy is not. Though you might learn this information later, now is not the time. Keep your questions focused on things like what she does to relax, where she's from, where she went to school, what kind of entertainment (books, music, movies, television) she likes, whether she's an animal-lover, etc.
- Give her genuine compliments—but don't comment on a sexual feature.
- Follow that old adage and steer clear of sex, politics, money and religion. (The obvious exception to this is discussing religion if you're using a religious dating site.) There's a reason why these are forbidden topics when you're first getting to know someone.
4
Always leave her wanting more. Bow out of the chat session before it gets too stale, or don't be too quick to return her emails. Lowering supply increases demand, and she'll be more interested if you don't immediately give everything away. Be interested, but restrained. (That is, don't send her multiple emails per day at first, or constantly ping her on chat.) Let her come to you a little bit.
5
Express gratitude. Every so often, let the women you're talking to know how much you appreciate their attention. It doesn't have to be cheesy — something as simple as "I've really enjoyed getting to know you so far" or "Thanks for responding to my message" will suffice.
- If you go on a date with someone you met online, take this a step further. Send her a tasteful, simple bouquet (that is, not two-dozen blood-red roses) the next day with a small note saying that you enjoyed her company. It'll get more mileage than you might think.
6
Handle rejection with grace. If it doesn't work out, don't get bitter. Instead, say farewell like a gentleman and wish her all the best. Your polite send-off might cause her to circle back later, at which point you can evaluate if you're still interested.
- For example, you could say "I'm sorry we didn't connect, but I wish you all the best" or "Good luck finding who you're looking for, and let me know if you ever change your mind."
7
Don't push a date too soon. A woman will automatically read you as creepy and only after her body if you start angling for a date too early. Instead, try to be patient and enjoy this period of getting to know her spirit and mind. If things work out, you'll have plenty of time later to bask in her physical presence.
- Allow her to let you know when she's ready to meet. You can throw out a no-pressure signal like, "Just so you know, I'd be thrilled to take you on a date whenever you're ready, but I'm willing to wait. When the time is right for you, let me know."
8
Keep your head up. You might encounter a lot of rejection online, as everyone does in the real world. Don't let it get you down, though. The right girl for you is out there somewhere, and maybe you're meant to appreciate her more after getting turned down by the wrong girl(s). Stay positive!

Community Q&A

Question

How can I write a good profile?

Beck Plays

Community Answer

You just choose a username that suits you and then write all about yourself. Make sure to use your real information.
Question

How do I escalate a conversation to get it a bit more steamy? Is it acceptable to send a tempting nude?

Community Answer

Sending a nude without asking the other person if they want to see it first is basically the 8th deadly sin. I would recommend looking into different guides that revolve around sexting advice to learn more about the intricacies of internet dirty talk. Try this Send Dirty Texts.
Question

How can I start an initial conversation with someone I like?

Community Answer

Start by saying "hello," then ask an open-ended question, like "how are you?" or "what are you up to today?"

Warnings

Many of these free dating sites are breeding grounds for scammers who just want your money. Just follow one basic rule: If anyone asks you to send money to them or anyone else, no matter how sad their story might be, it's a scammer. They often use sick kids needing hospital treatment they can't afford to pull at your heartstrings. Don't fall for it. Simply block them and move on.

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