How to Plan a Perfect Date

Co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Going on the perfect date is nearly every person's dream. Whether you're dating the suave romantic type, the adventurous fun type, or the quirky and artsy type, there are tons of date ideas that are a perfect fit. Planning the perfect date takes careful consideration and planning, but the great time you'll have will be worth all of the effort.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Planning Ahead for the Perfect Date

1
Give your date options. You’re busy and your date is busy, so be sure to plan ahead. Offer a few different days to set up a date, this will show them that you're willing to plan around their schedule.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Simply asking “Are you free Wednesday or Thursday?” gives options, while still being direct. This will show your date that you respect their time, but can still handle making plans.
- Asking your date if they'd prefer to go out on a weeknight or weekend is also a great way to show that you're flexible and want to see them on a day that works best for their schedule.
2
Get a feel for your date's interests. Once you've picked a day, offer a few vague suggestions for your date to choose from. This will show them that you care about their interests and that you're going out of your way to make this date perfect.
- Ask your date "Would you rather have a relaxing night or get a little adventurous?" or "Would you rather we have an indoor or outdoor date?" Their answer will point you in the right direction for your planning.
- Don't be too specific when giving your date options. Keep some of your plans as an element of surprise.
Advertisement
3
Make reservations. To plan the perfect date, you need to make sure that you solidify your plans. Whether you're going to a restaurant, going mini golfing, going sky-diving, or going to a concert, don't leave your date to chance. Call in advance to ensure that you get tickets, make reservations, etc.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Some restaurants don't take reservations, and some activities won't require tickets. If this is the case, it's important that you come up with a backup plan for your date just in case your initial plans don't pan out.
4
Have a backup plan. Sometimes, plans can fall through. One of you may be running late because of work, or maybe you got stuck in traffic. Whatever date you have planned, always have a simple backup plan just in case things go wrong. Even if your backup plan is your favorite local coffee shop, or hanging out at your favorite view of the city you live in, it's always good to have another idea in your back pocket.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Make two dinner reservations at nearby restaurants – one at 6pm and one at 6:30, for example. If you happen to be running late for your first reservation, you'll have another reservation at a restaurant that's nearby. This will make a great impression on your date, as it will be obvious that you've thought this date through.
5
Inform your date of your plans in advance. Give your date an idea of what you'll be doing so that they can dress appropriately and be prepared. More adventurous dates may require some athletic clothing, fancier dates may require a dressier attire. Give your date at least a day in advance so that they don't feel rushed or unprepared.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- For example, if you're planning on going hiking, give your date a heads up to wear sneakers and comfortable clothing. High heels and hiking aren't a good time.
- If you plan on going to an opera, tell your date to have fun getting dressed up for a romantic night on the town. If they're underdressed for something like the opera, they may feel uncomfortable, resulting in them not enjoying the date.
6
Choose a secondary location. If your date goes tremendously well, neither of you will want it to end. Pick a fun place to have drinks or coffee, just in case you'd like your date to continue. Ideally, you should choose a location near your date's home. This will show that you've considered their time and are not trying to pressure them to stay out longer than they'd like to.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Instead of picking an actual location, offering to take a walk or go for a scenic drive is a great option to spend more time with your date.
- Your date may offer for you to come back to their place – that's perfectly fine! However, it's important to let your date make that suggestion, otherwise you may come off a bit pushy.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Being Creative With Your Plans

1
Avoid going to the movies. Traditional movie dates can be fun, but they don't allow you to interact with one another. Going to the movies is appropriate for a casual date – but the perfect date should be a bit more creative. The best dates allow people to really get to know each other and spend time with one another, so choose activities that will allow you and your date to communicate.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Choosing the movies for a date isn't a bad idea, it's just not the perfect idea. Putting some creativity into your plans will show your date that you've made an effort to show them a great time.
- Movies can be fun if you go to a local film festival, or go see a cult classic at a local theater. If you're totally set on going to the movies, make it an interesting experience.
2
Take dinner from ordinary to extraordinary. Instead of going to a regular restaurant, make your dinner experience fun. It's easy for people to bond over food, so make an adventure out of your dining experience to make it even more memorable.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Take a cooking class together. Cooking together can be fun and delicious, so look up local cooking classes in your neighborhood.
- Go on a mini-tour of restaurants and eat a different course at each one. This is a great way to turn dinner into a fun date night adventure. Start with appetizers at one restaurant, get dinner at another, and end the night at an amazing dessert shop.
- Try out food trucks in your neighborhood. Instead of the traditional restaurant experience, check out the local food trucks in your city. This is a fun way to learn more about your neighborhoods and communities while eating delicious food.
3
Explore your wild side. If your date is up for a little fun, try a fun new experience together. There are tons of activities to try, so why not try these new activities together? Sharing new experiences creates amazing memories and conversation, and a perfect date is a date that is never forgotten.
- Go bungee jumping, try rock-climbing, or hit the water for some kayaking. These are super adventurous dates that will never be forgotten.
- If your date is up for a fun time that's not too extreme, try mini golf and go-karts.
4
Get artsy. If your date is into the arts, there are tons of fun date ideas that will allow the two of you to get creative. Try taking a BYOB painting class, sign up for an improv comedy class, or go do karaoke. Keep things light and fun, and pick something that will allow you two to laugh together.
- Make sure your date doesn't feel the pressure to be good at any of these things. Emphasize that these activities are all for fun.^{[8]
  X
  Research source}
- If your date enjoys the arts but doesn't want to actually participate in an artsy activity, try going to an art gallery or a concert. Pick an activity that will still allow the two of you to interact.
5
Keep it relaxed. If your love interest leads a busy life, they'll sometimes want to do something a bit more relaxing for their perfect date. (This is why you should get an idea of what they want to do before planning your date). Whatever you decide to do, pick a plan that will allow your date to relax and have an enjoyable, stress-free time.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- If your date wants to unwind, bring a blanket and a bottle of wine for stargazing in the park. This will make for a nice and relaxing evening while still giving you a chance to get to know each other. Bring a telescope if you have access to one so that the two of you can see all of the stars.
- Plan a lazy Sunday brunch date instead of Friday night dinner. This takes away the pressure of a fancy dinner date.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Minding Your Manners While on Your Date

1
Look your best. When dressing for the perfect date, wear something that makes you feel attractive and comfortable. The better you feel, the better you'll look. Don't wear something that's extremely uncomfortable just because it looks good, as your date will be able to sense that you're uncomfortable. Dress appropriately for your date – dressier for a fancy date, and more casual for a fun date.
- If you're going out on a fancier date, break out your favorite dress and heels, or your favorite blazer.
- If you're going on a fun, adventurous date, wear your go-to jeans, your favorite boots or sneakers, and a cute shirt or jacket. Wearing clothes you love will make you feel more comfortable.^{[10]
  X
  Research source}
2
Be on time. Do your very best to be on time. If you're late, your date may think that you're blowing them off or that you don't care enough about them to be on time.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Of course, things happen in life, and you could end up running behind schedule. If this is the case, give your date a quick call or text to apologize for running late, and give them an honest timeframe of when they should expect you.
- Confirm the time of your date earlier in the day. This will ensure that the two of you are on the same page, and your date will appreciate that you are confirming plans.
3
Pay attention to your date. This might seem like a given, but it's very necessary if you want your date to be perfect. Show your date that you're paying attention to them by actually listening when they speak and engaging in meaningful conversation.
- Compliment them on something they're wearing or how they look, and be genuine. Instead of saying "You look nice," say "You look beautiful. The color red looks amazing on you!" Being specific with your compliments will show them that you're paying attention.
- Don't go overboard with the compliments, but make an effort to show your date that you notice the effort they put into getting ready for the date.^{[12]
  X
  Research source}
4
Pay for the date. You planned the date, so you should pay. If you ask someone on a date and you make the plans, do not expect them to pay their way. They may offer to go dutch on the bill for your date, but you should insist on paying.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Don't show off how much you're paying for the date. It may come off like you're showing off or bragging, so it's best to be more discreet when paying the bill.
- If your date involves an activity where tipping is involved, leave a good tip (15%-20%). This will impress your date.
- If your date seems bothered by you paying, let them know that you're more than happy to foot the bill. Express that you invited them out and you want this date to be your treat.
5
Plan another date. When you've found someone you really like, you'll want every date to be perfect. Discuss other date ideas that you and your love interest would like to try, and make plans to do them. Having an open conversation about future date ideas is also a great way to show you if this person is truly interested in you.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- Ask what kind of date they'd like to go on next. If they're unsure, give them options again. For example, ask "Would you like to do something adventurous next weekend? I know of some amazing hiking trails and mountain climbing spots." (You can pick your own activities, of course).
- Or if you don't want to go the adventurous route, say "I'd love to see you again next week. Are you free to grab lunch or dinner?" This shows them that you're flexible to their schedule, and they'll appreciate you giving the options.
6
End your date appropriately. Ending your date with a goodnight kiss isn't always in the cards for a first date, so it's important to pay attention to the verbal or physical cues from your date. For example, if your date steps closer when saying goodbye, leans in during your parting conversation, or lingers while giving you a goodbye hug, these are all signs for a goodnight kiss.
- If your date keeps their distance while saying goodbye, or seems in a rush, these are signs that they're not interested in a goodnight kiss. Some people tend to move slower than others when it comes to intimacy, so this does not necessarily mean that your date doesn't like you.
- A first kiss is normally brief and tongue-free, as this shows your date that you like and respect them. If they initiate further intimacy, you can follow their lead.^{[15]
  X
  Research source}

Expert Q&A

Question

What is the perfect first date?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

I think a first date should be relatively short, like having brunch or afternoon tea, going for a bike ride or a walk together, or visiting a museum. For later dates, you could plan longer activities, like a going to the beach day, taking a picnic on a hike, or visiting a couple's spa.