How to Recognize an Online Predator

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: March 19, 2023 References

Technology can be a positive, fun part of life. Many people, especially young adults, enjoy spending a lot of time online. Unfortunately, the digital world can have just as many dangers as the "real" world. Online predators are one of the greatest threats to your personal safety on the internet. An online predator is an adult who seeks to exploit youths for sexual or other harmful purposes. If you or someone you know is a teen who regularly uses the internet, take steps to stay safe. It is vital that you learn the warning signs of predators and know what steps to take if you encounter them. If you learn the signs and use your common sense, you can continue to stay safe online.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Identifying the Warning Signs

1
Learn common traits of predators. Many online predators are looking to sexually exploit children or teens. They may be pedophiles or child molesters. There are many characteristics that are typical of predators.
- Generally, pedophiles are outgoing and engaging. Not all people who are outgoing and engaging are pedophiles, but some are. If you meet someone online who seems overly friendly, be cautious.
- Child molesters actively target their prey. They might use the Internet to seek out a child they know from the neighborhood, work, or school.
- Be aware that online predators can be complete strangers or someone you actually know.
2
Understand grooming. "Grooming" is the process that the predator uses to gain a child's trust. Grooming can happen over a relatively short period of time, such as one conversation. It can also occur over a longer stretch, like a couple of weeks or even months.^{[1]
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- A predator can try to gain the trust of Michael Reddie. For example, they can try to ask for information about the child.
- A predator is typically an adult. During the initial interactions, they might lie about their age in order to gain trust.
- If a predator learns that you play soccer, for instance, they might say, "Where do you play? I play every weekend. Which team are you on?" They will agree with you, but may not know the details of the topic, so ask them about details of what they claim is true.
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3
Be wary of requests to meet. When you are unsure who you are dealing with online, there are several specific things to look out for. Being aware of warning signs can help keep you and your family safe. After the initial grooming period, many online predators will ask for an in-person meeting. This is a red flag.^{[2]
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- If someone says, "I really need to meet you in person", be aware that could be a sign of a predator.
- Be especially cautious if there are repeated requests. If someone tries to insist on meeting you, you need to question their motives.
- Try saying, "I enjoy chatting online about school, but it's making me uncomfortable that you are pressuring me to meet. Would you mind cooling it?"
4
Watch out for flattery. Online predators often try to emotionally manipulate their prey. They may offer compliments as a way to gain favor. Be wary of effusive flattery.^{[3]
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- If you have pictures of yourself online, a predator might comment on your appearance in a creepy way. Make sure that only friends you know and trust can view your photos.
- Consider it a warning sign if someone says something like, "You're so pretty. I can get you a modeling contract."
5
Identify suspicious behavior. Any statement that can be perceived as a threat is another warning sign. An online predator might try to scare a person into doing what they want. If someone threatens you, exit the site or chat room immediately.
- A threat could be something like, "Don't tell your parents you've been talking to me. I'll find out."
- A predator could also threaten you by saying, "If you don't meet me, I'll tell your friends your secrets."
- A request for personal information is also suspicious. Do not give out your phone number or address.
6
Look for changes in your child's behavior. Maybe you are concerned that your child is being targeted by an online predator. There are several warning signs you can look for. Think about whether your child:^{[4]
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- Is secretive about online activities
- Seems obsessed with being online
- Tries to hide the screen from view when an adult enters the room
- Receives calls or texts from someone you don't know
- Downloads pornography and or makes their own pornography for the predator

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Handling Your Suspicions

1
Talk to your child. If you are worried that your child is interacting with a predator, your first step is to talk to your child. Make it clear that you are worried, not angry. Ask your child questions to determine what is going on.
- For example, you could say, "Being online seems like it is really controlling your mood lately. Is there some reason for that?"
- You could also say, "I'm concerned about your safety. Let's go over the ground rules for staying safe online again."
- Remind your child that they can trust you. Explain that you are just looking out for their best interests.
- Make sure your child knows the warning signs of a predator. They also need to know never to share personal information.
2
Check your computer. If you suspect that an online predator is targeting someone in your home, you can check your computer. Make sure that you have security software installed. This can help protect your computer from spyware and viruses.
- Run a security scan to see if any programs have been added to your computer without your knowledge.
- Check for suspicious downloads. Look to see if there is any concerning new material on your computer, such as pornography.
- Make sure to regularly inspect all of the computers in your house. Don't forget laptops and tablets.
3
Contact the CyberTipline. This resource is mandated by Congress. You can contact the tipline 24/7 to report suspected incidents of abuse. You can report inappropriate sexual advances and any distribution of unsolicited sexual material.^{[5]
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- Go to the website at www.cybertipline.com
- You can also call 1-800-843-5678
4
Check the sex offender registry. Many online predators have been convicted of a sexual offense. The sex offender registry is public information. Check your area to see if a potential sexual predator lives in your community.^{[6]
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- Family Watchdog is a site that allows parents to check their area for registered sex offenders. Enter your address to determine if anyone in your area is registered.
- You should also check the address for your child's school, and other frequently visited areas.
5
Contact the authorities. If you or someone you know is concerned that you are being targeted by an online predator, you should report it. Contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to make a report. You can reach that agency at 1800TheMissing.
- You can also contact the FBI to make a report.
- If you are concerned about immediate danger, contact your local police department. Ask for an officer to come to your home to take a report.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Staying Safe Online

1
Set boundaries. If you have a child or teen who is regularly online, you want to make sure that they follow basic safety guidelines. Set clear rules for your child's online activities. Then, clearly communicate these boundaries to your teen.
- Make a "no delete" rule. Tell your child not to clear their search history or cache. From time to time, check to see what they've been looking at.
- Set a time limit. For example, allow your child to be online in the evening, but make sure they disconnect by 9 p.m.
- Be aware of who their "friends" are. Make sure your teen can clearly explain who they are interacting with.
2
Purchase safety software. Sometimes boundaries aren't enough. You can use technology to help keep your family members safe. Consider purchasing security software to install on all family computers.
- These programs can send alerts when someone tries to access questionable sites.
- Safety software can also record all online activity, so you can tell with certainty which sites your child has visited.
- Some programs can also prevent new windows from opening. This can help keep you and your family from accidentally stumbling into dangerous territory.
3
Guard your privacy. Make certain that everyone in your household knows how to protect personal information. Hold a family meeting and talk about specific information that should never be shared online. Caution family members against sharing:^{[7]
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- Your home address
- Phone numbers
- Personal e-mail addresses
- Locations of schools
- Any details about physical appearance
4
Avoid chat rooms. One of the best ways to stay safe is to avoid going into a private chat room. If someone asks you (or your child) to leave the group chat, consider this a warning sign. Inappropriate comments are most often made in private rooms.
- Leave a chat immediately if you feel uncomfortable. Teach your family members to do the same.
- If asked to go in a private chat room, you can say, "No, thanks. I'm cool hanging here with the group."
5
Listen to your instincts. Go with your gut. If something feels "off", you need to do something or say something. If your instincts tell you that you are dealing with a predator, cut off contact immediately. Tell your parents or a friend about your suspicions.
- This is good advice for parents, too. If your instincts tell you that your child is dealing with a predator, don't ignore the feeling.
- Talk to your child immediately, and investigate your suspicions.

Community Q&A

Question

One of my close friends keeps asking me for my age. Is that a warning sign?

Community Answer

Not necessarily. They might just be curious. They might even want to make sure they're not talking to some middle-aged predator themselves - and could find it shady that you're so resistant to tell them how old you are. There isn't anything wrong with asking about someone's age or sharing your own.
Question

How do I know if I am talking to a predator?

Community Answer

A predator will start out innocently, but will eventually turn the conversation toward inappropriate topics, sexual in nature. Then he will want to meet you in person, and will try to pressure you into it. Don't ever share personal information online, especially your name, address, and phone number. You never know who you're really talking to.
Question

What are the warning signs for sexual predators?

Community Answer

A sexual predator may start off conversations innocently and then gradually start introducing sexual/inappropriate commentary. They may ask for nude/sexual pictures or ask you to describe what you are wearing/doing. If you feel like you are communicating with a sexual predator, block/ignore the person immediately and report it to an authority figure.

Warnings

Never give out any extra personal information other than an online name. Also, don't ever send them a picture of you, especially if you're undressed. Online information and pictures can be used against you.

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