How to Respond to False Accusations

Co-authored by Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC

Last Updated: January 13, 2023 References

Rumors, smears, and unjust characterizations can happen online, in the workplace, and in the courtroom. Some false stories die, and some spread. Whether you're falsely accused to your face, behind your back, in the court, or in print, it is vital to stay calm and know your rights. With patience, and the support of those you trust, you can work toward recovering your reputation and self-confidence.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Responding to Rumors

1
Gather yourself. If a coworker, acquaintance or loved one accuses you of something you have not done, it is best to confront them calmly and directly. If you are being accused face to face, you may have to take a deep breath before you begin. If the accusations come to you as a written or recorded message, you will have the opportunity to wait and respond when you are calm and collected.^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
2
State the facts. Once you are calm, state the truth as concisely as you can and provide evidence.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Expert Interview. 22 July 2021.} If your accuser is ready to hear you, this can save a lot of back and forth. If your accuser is not yet ready to hear you, check your frustration.
- Even if the conversation ends without your accuser taking you at your word, know that they may come to believe you when they have had time to process what you said.
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3
Get the story. Find out where the accusations come from, and why your accuser might be disposed to believe them. If your accuser is unwilling or unable to reveal the source, ask them if there is someone they would recommend you speak to.
- If they refuse to help you, ask them to imagine that you are innocent, and ask what they would advise you to do in that case. Ask "what can you tell me?"
- You may have to resign yourself to never getting the full story. Let the rumors die rather than reviving them with investigations.
4
Enlist help. Let your friends or trusted coworkers know that you have been concerned about the rumor, and ask them to speak up for you.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Expert Interview. 22 July 2021.} If you have a good network, you may never have to defend yourself again.
- If you know the accusation began with a careless conjecture or a misunderstanding, rather than malice, ask your accuser to speak up and help you stop the false rumor.
5
Forgive as you go. Remind yourself that what looks like malice is often a mistake or a misunderstanding.^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} Avoid getting angry or retaliating. You may be judged more by the way you behave under pressure than by the rumor.
- Avoid making false allegations in return, as they may compromise your reputation as a teller of truth.
6
Re-invest in your relationships. False accusations can cause a lingering sense of damage, or can push a relationship into a crisis. Have honest, non-judgmental talks with family and friends, and seek counseling if a serious rift has occurred.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} Take the initiative and invite someone out for coffee who you haven't seen in a while.
- If you would like to meet new people, a new hobby can bring new friends. Volunteer, take a class, or join a meet-up group to make friends who share your interests.^{[6]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
7
Re-invest in yourself. Your self-esteem can suffer when you are falsely accused. Remind yourself of the facts of the matter: a healthy self-esteem is grounded in realism.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} Self-care is key: exercise, and eat a balanced diet. Make your home comfortable and beautiful, and wear clothing you feel good in.^{[8]
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- Repeating affirmations such as "people care about me," or "I am proud of my accomplishments" can help you recover from the hurt of a false accusation.^{[9]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Responding to an HR Investigation

1
Cooperate. If you are the subject of an HR investigation, remember that the representative is required, by work and in some cases by law, to investigate accusations. If you help your investigator with the case, you are less likely to lend credence to character-related accusations.
2
State the facts. Let your representative know exactly what happened (or did not happen). If you have corroborating evidence, share it with them.^{[10]
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Ask questions. Get as may of the facts as you can. Ask what you can expect as the investigation proceeds, and if you should modify any of your work practices in the meantime. Ask how you will know when the investigation is done, who will tell you, and when it is likely to be resolved.
- If there is information withheld, ask "what can you tell me about X?"
- Make sure to obtain your investigator's name and contact information.
- Finally, ask with whom you are permitted to discuss the investigation.
4
Learn your rights. If a false accusation is not dismissed, you may have to contest it. False accusations might come to nothing, but you should be prepared in case you are denied a promotion, suspended, or fired. Be calm and forthcoming with your supervisor and anyone else authorized to discuss the case with you.
- Know that you are not necessarily legally protected from being fired for false or impossible to prove allegations. Unless you have a contract that states the minimum length of your employment, you are likely an "at will" employee, and can be fired for any reason.^{[11]
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- If you do have a contract that says you can only be fired for committing a crime, or if you believe yourself to be the target of discrimination, you can sue for wrongful termination.^{[12]
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Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Responding to Published Accusations

1
Learn your rights. False accusations that are published in print or online are called "libel," while false accusations on television, radio, or in conversation are "slander." Consult a lawyer if you can afford to do so: under certain circumstances, you can bring a defamation case against the person falsely accusing you.^{[13]
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- Not all false accusations count as defamation. If you are not fully identified, if your character has already come under public scrutiny, if you have made statements that support the false claims, if you are a public figure, or if the person defaming you is a former employer or other protected party, your case may not qualify as defamation in every state. ^{[14]
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2
Publish a refutation. If it is safe for you to do so, providing the public with another side to the story can either kill the story or turn it in your favor. Contact reporters and publishers who are carrying the story and ask them to either remove the false accusations or broadcast your refutation.
- If you are accused of a crime, consult with a lawyer before making statements on record.
3
Let it die. The less you respond, the better. Once you have consulted a lawyer or, in less serious cases, made a public statement, you have done as much as you can. If you continue to respond to every instance of slander related to the case, you risk re-invigorating the story.
4
Release positive content. After the story has died down, search your name online to see what comes up. If the false accusations are still one of the first results, take the time to put positive information about yourself online. Write some articles or make videos that are unrelated to the false accusations. Make a website about things you enjoy, or update your professional profiles.
- Share your new, positive content with friends and family to boost its position among search results

Expert Q&A

Question

What should you do if someone keeps making false accusations against you?

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Hyungbum Kang is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of experience, Hyungbum specializes in using an integrated therapeutic approach to treat ADHD, Anger Management, Depression, and other mental health and social work struggles. He received a Bachelor’s degree in English and Master’s degrees in Sociology and Social Work. Hyungbum earned an MBA from Hawaii Pacific University (HPU) and is working on his Doctor of Psychology from HPU. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, the International Honor Society in Psychology, the National Association of Social Workers, and the California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals.

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Expert Answer

Invite them to have a reasonable, open discussion with you. Before you meet with your accuser, gather as much as evidence as you can (recordings, data, witnesses) to prove that you are innocent.
Question

How do I respond after all these tips don't work, and the person maintains the false accusation?

AbigailAbernathy

Top Answerer

Ask for proof. A person who has none will become defensive.
Question

What do I do if a friend falsely accuses me of drug use?

Community Answer

Ask them why they would accuse you of something so serious. Sometimes, when someone is guilty of something and doesn't know how to deal with it, they accuse someone else of a bad deed they have done. If your friend doesn't have a good reason for accusing you, simply tell them it's wrong and if they want to continue talking to you, they need to trust you.

Warnings

If you believe yourself to be frequently falsely accused, but those you trust cannot substantiate your fears, you may be experiencing dementia or paranoia. Speak to a health professional if you are concerned or if your loved ones are concerned for you.

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