So you’ve swiped right on someone awesome and started chatting. Things are off to a great start! But what happens when the conversation starts to dry up and neither of you seems to have anything to say? In this article, we’ve put together a few tricks and tips for keeping the convo going with that special someone on Tinder.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Joshua Pompey, founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking. Check out the full interview here.

Section 1 of 15:

Signs You Can Salvage a Tinder Conversation

  1. Reviving a Tinder conversation is almost always worth a shot! Here are a few keys signs you’re in good shape:
    • You’ve exchanged messages at least once in the last few days so the door’s still open.
    • You’re willing to take the initiative and try out a new conversation starter.
    • They’re ghosting but haven’t directly turned you down yet.
  2. Advertisement
Section 2 of 15:

Tell an interesting story.

  1. Think of something funny or unusual that happened recently. Talking a little about something that’s happening in your life can be a great way to break the ice. Jump right into the story just like you would while talking to a friend or family member. This is a better way to get the conversation flowing naturally than starting with small-talk, and it’ll also show off your fun, spontaneous side.[1]
    • Starting off with an interesting opening line might be enough to get things moving again. Try leaving it at that and see if they respond before you say more.
    • For instance, you could start with something like, “Oh man, work was crazy today. The expresso machine literally blew up!” or, “You’re never gonna guess who walked into my office this morning.”
Section 3 of 15:

Ask an open-ended question.

  1. Avoid “yes” or “no” questions. Asking a question is a great way to get a conversation moving. Not only does it show that you’re interested in them, but it also puts the ball in their court![2] Stick to questions that require a little thought or an answer that’s more than just 1 word.[3] When you’re just starting out, keep it light and avoid sensitive topics, like politics or religion.
    • To show you’ve been paying attention, try asking about something they mentioned earlier in the conversation. For instance, “Hey, how was that movie you were watching the other day?” or “What happened with that job interview?”
    • If they answer, keep the conversation going with follow-up questions. For example, “Awesome, I’ve been meaning to check that movie out. How do you think it compares to the original version from the ‘70s?”
    • You can ask questions about a wide variety of topics, like their interests and hobbies, their background, or their sense of humor. Or, try some deeper conversation starters, like “What’s a skill you’ve always wanted to learn?” or “What’s your favorite place in the world, and why?”[4]
  2. Advertisement
Section 4 of 15:

Talk about a common interest.

  1. It’s much easier to connect when you have something in common. Maybe you both love the same TV show, went to the same college, or share a similar hobby. Whatever it is, use it as a jumping-off point for more conversation.[5]
    • For instance, try something like, “It’s so cool that you’re into photography, too! How long have you been doing that?”
    • You might be able to get a good sense of things you have in common by looking at their profile or reading back over your previous conversation.
    • You can also try asking questions to get a better idea of what they’re into, like “What TV shows are you watching lately?” or, “Who are your favorite authors?”
Section 6 of 15:

Chat about your pets.

  1. There’s a reason so many people have dogs in their profile pics. Pets are cute, fun, and easy to talk about. Displaying your love for your pets is also a great way to show off your nurturing side, which a lot of people find seriously attractive.[7] If you have pets, share a picture or a funny story, or ask your prospective bae to do the same.
    • There’s even science to back this one up—studies show that having a pet is one of the best ways to bond with other people and make new friends![8]
    • For instance, share a picture of your cat curled up on your keyboard and say something like, “Look who’s helping me get work done this morning.”
    • If they have a pet, bring it up. Say something like, “I can’t stop thinking about that rabbit in your profile pic, it looks too cute and fluffy to be real.”
Section 8 of 15:

Share some pictures.

  1. But keep it PG. People love looking at pictures, and photos of your day-to-day life can be a great way to give your potential date an idea of what you’re really like. Don’t be afraid to ask them to send pics, too—just don’t get pushy or ask them to share something they don’t seem comfortable with.[10]
    • For example, you might send a picture of the delicious meal you just cooked or an interesting landscape you discovered while out walking.
    • You can also say things like, “Your cat sounds adorbs, I’d love to see a pic!”
    • Don’t send (or ask for) nudes or pictures of your junk unless they’ve told you they’re interested. That’s a good way to make things turn awkward, fast—or scare someone off completely.
Section 9 of 15:

Get a little flirty.

  1. After all, you’re both on a dating app. If you’re too shy about letting them know how you feel, they might get the impression you’re not interested. Keep the spark alive by dropping some subtle (or not-so-subtle) hints that you’re into them and want to take it to the next level. [11]
    • Unless your hopefully future bae has already made it really clear that they’re interested in getting naughty, keep your flirting PG-13 at first.
    • For instance, you might say something like, “Wow, you’re cute, smart, and you love shawarma? Where have you been all my life? ;)”
  2. Advertisement
Section 12 of 15:

Wait a day or two and try again if things totally die.

  1. It’s okay to follow up if things have been quiet. You don’t want to blow up their phone with messages, but don’t let them think you forgot about them, either![14] If you haven’t heard from your Tinder crush in a while, send them a quick message and see if they answer.
    • You can either just jump in or follow up on something you already talked about.[15] For example, “You know that Netflix series you recommended? Well, I checked it out, and it was incredible!”
    • If you haven’t heard from them in a couple of days, don’t assume they’ve lost interest—it could just mean they’ve been busy. If they’re quick to answer your message, that’s a good sign that they want to keep things going.
Section 13 of 15:

Ask them out if texting isn’t going anywhere.

  1. There’s only so much progress you can make over text. If the conversation is starting to feel awkward and repetitive, but you’re both into each other, that might be a sign that it’s time to take the next step. It’s usually a safe bet to ask after 3-4 days of chatting.[16]
    • Keep it light and casual. Say something like, “You seem really cool. Would you be up for hanging out in person this weekend?” or “I’d love to chat with you face to face! Do you have any free time in the next few days?”
    • Some people are just more comfortable talking in person, so don’t assume they aren’t interested just because they’re not super chatty over text.
  2. Advertisement
Section 14 of 15:

Move on if they still don’t seem interested.

About This Article

Joshua Pompey
Co-authored by:
Relationship Expert
This article was co-authored by Joshua Pompey and by wikiHow staff writer, Megaera Lorenz, PhD. Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world. This article has been viewed 92,219 times.
How helpful is this?
Co-authors: 8
Updated: February 10, 2023
Views: 92,219
Categories: Tinder
Advertisement