How to Survive Being a Teen

Sympathize with your peers. Your peers have hopes, worries, and fears, just as you do. They have an urge to do something useful in the world, just as you do. Some are nice, caring, and supportive, and will understand you. Those who aren't very friendly may have reasons for that. They may feel shy, scared, or annoyed at the world. It's important to realize that people can be mean because of insecurities or a desire to keep pain at bay. Don't assume the worst in others.

• Put yourself in your peers' shoes. This may help you understand others better. For example, if you notice that someone never seems to do well on tests and is always in a bad mood in class, try to imagine how you would feel in that situation. You may also feel frustrated in an environment in which you do not succeed.

Meet new people. Making friends can be challenging, especially at a new school. Be open to talking to new people. Ask questions about them and share interesting things about yourself. It takes time to make close friends, but the more time you spend together, the closer you will become. ^[10]

• Join a club or activity. Go with a new friend or show up by yourself. Either way, you are bound to spend time with people and build friendships.

Keep your good friends. Friendship and socializing are an important part of being a teen. Maintain friendships that make you feel supported and comfortable in your own skin. Supportive friends will encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Avoid friends who pressure you to do things that don’t feel right for you.

• Good friends spend time together, they help each other, and they can trust each other. For example, a good friend will enjoy going to your house or seeing a movie on the weekend. He or she will be glad to help you with your homework if you are struggling. A good friend will listen to your problems and won’t talk about sensitive issues behind your back.
• Maintain friendships by making an effort to see each other. Sit together at lunch or join the same club. If you don’t go to the same school, call each other on the weekends. Send updates via email or text during the week to show that you want to stay in touch.

Manage peer pressure. Peer pressure is when you are influenced to do something because your friends are doing it or because your friends ask you to participate. This can have both a positive and negative effect. Before making a move, think about if it is right for you. What are the possible outcomes? What is the best or worst thing that could happen?^[11]

• Don't do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Use some non-confrontational phrases if you are pressured to do something that you know feels wrong. Try saying, “Hey, I don’t think I want to get into this. It’s just not for me.”

Maintain a relationship with your parents. Getting along with parents can be challenging as a teen. Try doing an activity together that you both enjoy. Play a sport or watch a movie together. Help out around the house or offer to drive your siblings somewhere. Parents will appreciate it when you make an effort to help them. ^[12] Helping out also shows maturity and can help build trust between you.

• Avoid ugly fights. Parents also struggle with adolescent years. They may try to restrict your actions or shorten the time spent with your friends. Try to reason with them logically instead of yelling to get what you want. ^[13] Compromising with your parents is valuable skill to develop.

Develop healthy romances. People often start dating in their teens. There can be a lot of pressure to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Families differ on what is appropriate as far as dating. If you are interested in someone, try getting to know them to test the waters. See if going on a date is appropriate and mutually desired.

• Engage in safe sex. Not all teens are ready for sex. Avoid people who pressure you into having sex if you wish to abstain. If you do feel ready to have sex, be aware of the physical and emotional consequences. Sex can be fulfilling, but it can also be an emotional burden at a young age. Additionally, sex can result in the passing of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) that compromise your health. Sex can also result in pregnancy. Always use condoms correctly when engaging in oral, vaginal, or anal sex.
• Make sure that you and your partner are respectful and loving to one another. Your partner should never be physically or emotionally abusive, and you should never feel that your partner has any control or power over you. Read this article to see if your relationship could be categorized as abusive.

Develop self-confidence. Social life is challenging at any age. Develop a healthy sense of self to get through difficult situations. Remember to focus on the positive aspects of who you are and avoid criticizing yourself. ^[14]

• Brush off awkward mistakes. Mistakes are lifelong occurrences. If you feel you’ve embarrassed yourself, don't freak out or overreact. Just be calm. Most people are thinking about themselves anyway. There are many ways to deal with embarrassment.
• For example, if you fall in the cafeteria or make a bad joke, try laughing it off. You might say, “Oh, that was weird” and keep moving. You also might be overestimating how much people are actually looking at your or paying attention to you. It's possible that no one even noticed that you fell in the cafeteria, and your bad joke will probably be forgotten by the end of the day.

Know the effects of drugs and alcohol. Teens are often exposed to drugs and alcohol at some point. There is a lot of peer pressure to participate in drinking and drug use. Unfortunately, these tend to have very negative consequences, especially when used at a young age. Avoid drugs and alcohol. Recreational drug use is illegal, and it is illegal for teens to drink alcohol. ^[15]

• Do not over-consume. If you are going to drink alcohol, be careful not to binge drink. This is when you drink a large amount of alcohol (about three to four drinks) in about an hour. This will raise your blood alcohol level and can be very dangerous, resulting in hospitalization and even death. ^[16]
• Learn your facts. If you do use drugs, know the effects, side-effects, likelihood of addiction, and risks involved. Many drugs are illegal because they can be highly addictive and result in deadly overdose. ^[17]

Avoid drama. It happens that some people thrive on it. It's usually a waste of time and tends to feed off negative emotions. Conflicts are a normal part of life. Drama, however, arises when people make a big scene about their emotions instead of handling the situation in a calm and private setting. Avoid getting caught up in the he-said-she-said fights and turning everything into a huge deal.

• Don't gossip about others. Gossip can lead to drama as well. Gossiping or talking about someone behind their back leads to a lot of rumors and hurt feelings. If you have an issue with someone, it is best to speak with that person directly. If you are not involved in the situation, avoid the temptation of spreading erroneous information.

Be careful with online interactions. The internet brings a slew of positive and negative things. Be careful with the information you share with people online or via text.

• Remember that anything you send to someone can be saved and re-sent to a third party. Don’t share anything you wouldn’t want your friends, family, and teachers to see.
• Do not give out personal information online. Remember that people with bad intentions are looking for chances to take advantage of you via the web.
• Never meet someone in person that you first encountered on the internet. This is quite dangerous because many people pretend to be someone they are not. Reserve your in-person interactions for people you actually know from daily life.