How to Text a Guy for the First Time (Examples)

Co-authored by Patti Novak Williams and Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: August 19, 2022 References

So, you like a guy and you want to be the one to text first? Go for it! There are no hard and fast rules about who should be texting first in relationships, regardless of the people involved. If you’re tired of waiting for him to text, then take initiative and let him know you’re interested. Done correctly, a first text can be captivating, engaging, and sure to provoke a response. Here, we’ll show you exactly how to text a guy for the first time, complete with examples, so crafting that first text won't be a struggle any more.

1

“Well, I have your number. What’s next? 😉”

Grab his attention by making your first text more than just “hi.” These days, “Hey, what’s up” is a pretty old and basic greeting, and not likely to elicit much enthusiasm from him. Give your first text some originality, and make sure it’s something the guy can easily respond to.^{[1]
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Research source} The text above tells him that you’re really interested, while also giving him a call to action! Other good examples include:
- “In case you’re wondering: if you wanted to text me without waiting three days, you absolutely can.”
- “Oh, wow! I was just about to delete this app, and then I saw you. How convenient!”
- Whatever your first text says, use proper spelling and grammar. Guys react better to a properly spelled-out message when you’re still getting to know them.^{[2]
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- Don’t reveal too much personal information about yourself at first. You’re still getting to know this guy; there will be time for more in-depth sharing later, and ideally, in person.^{[3]
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2

“Quick, describe yourself with just 3 emojis!”

Catch his eye by adding emojis to your message. Use emojis to playfully engage with the guy you're texting, as in the example above.^{[4]
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Research source} Emojis are likely to get a fast response from him; in fact, one study suggests that people using emojis in their texts to potential romantic matches had a more active dating life!^{[5]
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PLOS ONE
Online peer-reviewed, open access scientific research journal
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- “Guess which emoji I put next to your name in my contacts? 🤔”
- “Tell me about your day using only emojis! 😆”
- “What emoji do you think describes me?”
- However you use emojis, make sure there’s context in the beginning—a string of emojis without an explanation can be confusing for your texting partner!

3

“This is my favorite meme! What’s yours?”

Lead with a joke and get him laughing. Humor is a great way to capture someone’s attention at the beginning of a relationship; it’s a huge ice-breaker and an attractive quality in a potential partner.^{[6]
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Research source} Send him one of your favorite memes or jokes to brighten his day. When you do this, you can also ask for him to send one back, and get to know his sense of humor too!
- “Why do I find this picture so funny?! 😂 ”
- “Why should you tell an actor to break a leg? Can you guess? ...Because every play has a cast!”
- “Quick, send me the last meme you saved on your phone!”

4

“I need a new TV show to watch! Suggestions?”

Learn about him by asking for a recommendation. If you already know he’s a foodie, or a film aficionado, then base your question on the things you know he likes.^{[7]
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Research source} Otherwise, pick something easy that he’ll probably have an answer for regardless, like a new TV show to watch or musician to listen to. He’ll appreciate your curiosity, and you can get to know his personal tastes.
- “I love Mediterranean food, but I feel like I’ve tried everything! 😫 Any ideas on where to look?”
- “I saw on your profile that you’re a fan of The Weeknd! Which songs do you recommend I listen to first?”
- “I haven’t found anything like Game of Thrones since it ended. Do you know about any similar shows I could get hooked on?”
- No matter what, keep the question light and fun, and give him time to answer—no need to start grilling him right off the bat!

5

“I saw on your profile you have a dog. 🐶 Pics please!”

People love talking about their pets, so ask him if he has one. Maybe he mentioned having a pet when you first met, or his dating profile says that he has one. Ask him for pictures, and show him that you're interested in him and his furry friend. It's an easy, safe topic, and many people use the subject of their pets as a starting point for building a deeper relationship with others.^{[8]
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Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public
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- “LOVE seeing pictures of peoples’ pets, cats especially. Care to share any?”
- “You have a dog?! 😍 Ours could be friends! Send a pic of your puppy and I’ll send one too.”

6

“So, we both love comedy. Do you watch Saturday Night Live?!”

Get him talking by finding common ground. Bring up a shared interest in a TV show, a music genre, or even a mutual favorite food. The key is finding something the two of you both enjoy enough to talk about for hours on end! Having things in common is one of the quickest ways to develop a real connection with him, and get him texting back right away.^{[9]
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- “What are your favorite hobbies?”
- “I see you’re a BTS fan too. Ever seen them in concert?!”
- “You’re a foodie? Okay, big question here! Pineapple on pizza: genius or tragedy? 🍕”

7

“I love the way your eyes pop in this photo! They’re amazing.”

Get on his good side by paying him a compliment. Everyone enjoys being flattered, and he’s more likely to respond to a message telling him so clearly—and nicely—that you’re interested. Be as specific as you can with your text; rather than just saying “you’re cute,” tell him why you think he’s cute, whether it’s his eyes, smile, personal style, sense of humor, or anything else.^{[10]
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- “Your sense of style is on point. You really have a knack for picking flattering outfits! 🔥”
- “Your smile makes me a little weak in the knees, you know!”
- “You seem really smart! How did you learn so much about world history?”
- Whatever you pick, make sure it's a genuine compliment! You don’t want to say something generic just to get him to talk to you. You also don't have to talk just about looks. Compliment him on his humor, for example.

8

“What is the best part of your day? 😊”

Get (and keep) him talking with open-ended questions. The best way to engage with a guy while texting is to prompt him with open-ended questions, which are questions that call for longer responses and cannot be answered with just one word.^{[11]
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Research source} This leaves both of you with room to react to one other, and can quickly turn a single simple question into a full-blown text conversation.
- “What are the top 5 things on your bucket list?”
- “What are you the best at?”
- You could also establish a consistent back-and-forth, so that both of you have the opportunity to ask questions and get to know one another. “Want to play a game? You ask a question, then I’ll ask a question!”

9

“Hey, you’re into soccer? We should watch a game together!”

Suggest a plan to spend time together in person. If the goal is to get to know him better one-on-one, then bring up getting together in a way that shows you’ve actually thought about what the both of you might enjoy. Avoid vague invitations; “We should watch a game together” says that you've been paying attention to his interests, and he’s more likely to take you up on the offer!^{[12]
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- “I like to think I’m a bit of a coffee connoisseur. Do you know any places? Maybe we could check one out together!”
- “Your profile says you like horror movies, right? I do too, but I can never watch them alone! 😳 Want to keep me company and catch a movie at the theater this weekend?”

10

“I’m not a fan of the three-day rule, so I’m texting you now!”

Catch his attention with confidence. Not only is it acceptable for you to make the first move, it’s also great if you decide to acknowledge it. Sending the first text tells him you’re bold and confident—and confidence is alluring!^{[13]
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Research source} You shouldn’t brag; just be yourself and show him that you’re more focused on getting to know him than you are on following obsolete texting conventions.
- “Let’s skip the small talk and get right to flirting - what do you say? 😘”
- “What’s the cheesiest pick-up line you’ve ever heard? I want to see if I can beat it!”

11

“If you wanted to make a move, now’s a great time to try…😜”

Send the first text, and then wait for his reply. If you don’t get a fast response, it can be tempting to send a second message, or even a whole string of texts. Resist the urge to do this; while texting first is totally fine (and appreciated by many guys), rapid-fire texting kills the mood by making you look a little too needy.^{[14]
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Research source} Relax, type out a clever first message, and let him come to you!
- When you do get a reply, don’t take too long to respond. Wait about an hour before you hit the “send” button again; replying instantly makes it seem like you’re overeager, and waiting until the next day tells him you’re not really interested.
- The best time to send a first text is in the afternoon or evening (generally between the hours of 1 PM and 8 PM). That way you won’t text too early or too late, and possibly wake him up.^{[15]
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