This article was co-authored by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC and by wikiHow staff writer, Eric McClure. Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Managing Director of The Counseling Hub, LLC, a group counseling practice located in Columbia, Missouri. She is also the Founder of and a Business Consultant with Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC, a consulting service for therapy practice owners. With over nine years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method of relationship therapy with couples on the brink of divorce, who have conflict, or who feel disconnected from one another. Dr. Vossenkemper holds a BA in Psychology from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis, an MA in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis. She has also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach and has been formally trained in both the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.
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If your girlfriend has a habit of calling you “daddy,” you might be a little thrown off or confused. We’ve got good news for you, though. You can rest easy tonight—this is a very common pet name, and it’s a sign that she’s really into you! Even if it seems a little odd right now, hopefully it will make sense soon. Read on to learn more about why she does this, and why it isn’t anything to worry about.
Steps
Why does my girlfriend call me daddy?
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1She likes you and feels safe around you. Generally speaking, dads tend to be caring, loving, and protective. Calling you “daddy” implies that you’re all of these things for her! It’s a good thing, and she’s doing this because she’s comfortable around you, so don’t assume there’s something problematic going on here. She’s not literally saying you’re her father![1]
- While “daddy” often means “father,” people also use it casually as a synonym for “boss,” “protector,” or “provider.” She is 100% using “daddy” to mean the latter here.
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2She likes how strong and authoritative you are. Regardless of whether it’s true or not, dads have a stereotype for being the “stronger” parent in a hetero-normative relationship. Dads are also known for being “tougher” on children than mothers are. She may be calling you daddy to signal that she thinks you’re the dominant person in the relationship, which probably appeals to her.[2]
- Some people like being the “follower” in a relationship. They like the comfort and security of feeling like someone else is taking the lead. Even if it doesn’t really make sense to you, it makes sense to her!
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3It might turn her on. If she says this when the two of you are getting intimate, it's probably a turn-on for her. A lot of people like it when their partner is in charge in bed. If she likes it when you take the lead, she might like being more submissive when you're hooking up.[3]
Is calling me daddy a red flag?
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1Nope, it shouldn’t be anything to worry about. "Daddy" is becoming more and more common of a pet name, and it's not unusual for women to use it to refer to their partners. There’s a cliché out there that women who call their partner “daddy” have daddy issues, but that’s really not necessarily the case. A lot of women just like it as a pet name![4]
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2Your girlfriend calling you "daddy” might be a green flag if you think about it! A lot of people feel like a hero when they “protect” their girlfriend, and one of a dad’s main responsibilities is to protect their children. If your girlfriend calls you daddy, she’s signaling that you’re keeping her safe and happy. From that perspective, the fact that she’s trying to make you feel good about protecting her is a sign that she really cares about you.[5]
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3The use of pet names in general is considered a good sign in a relationship. Professional therapists, counselors, and psychologists all generally agree that pet names are a sign of a healthy, functional relationship.[6] While your girlfriend’s choice in the pet name department may strike you as odd, it’s a good sign that she’s using them at all.[7]
- If everything else is going well in the relationship, you have nothing to worry about here. It’s just one of her little quirks!
Community Q&A
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QuestionShould you break up with a guy who doesn't like being called Daddy? Seems like he's limiting affection.NicoTop AnswererNo! He might just be uncomfortable with being called daddy, but if he's a good partner, you shouldn't break up with him just for that. Try giving him another pet name or create one that he's comfortable with.
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QuestionIs is okay to call her Daddy back?DiamondWarrior649Top AnswererProbably not. Go ahead and go with "baby" or "babe".
References
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/reviews-coverage/why-your-friends-are-calling-hot-guys-daddy
- ↑ https://dc101.iheart.com/content/2018-01-12-women-are-really-getting-into-the-daddy-fetish/
- ↑ https://dc101.iheart.com/content/2018-01-12-women-are-really-getting-into-the-daddy-fetish/
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/reviews-coverage/why-your-friends-are-calling-hot-guys-daddy
- ↑ https://hernorm.com/boyfriend-wants-me-to-call-him-daddy/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5926812/
- ↑ https://newrepublic.com/article/117881/why-do-people-call-significant-others-baby
- ↑ https://newrepublic.com/article/117881/why-do-people-call-significant-others-baby
- ↑ https://www.instyle.com/reviews-coverage/why-your-friends-are-calling-hot-guys-daddy
- ↑ Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC. Licensed Professional Counselor. Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.