How to Accept Being Single for the Rest of Your Life

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Last Updated: March 4, 2023 References

Have you ever found yourself saying, “That’s it! I’m never going to be in a relationship again.” You’re not alone. Whether you just broke up with someone or if it’s been a while since your last relationship, sometimes it can feel like you’ll be single for the rest of your life. The good news is that you don’t need a relationship to be happy! And there are plenty of things you can do to accept your singleness and focus on yourself.

Here are 11 ways to not only accept being single, but embrace it too.

1

Immerse yourself in things you enjoy.

Your own happiness is more important than your relationship status. Spend your time doing activities that make you happy and make you feel fulfilled.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} Instead of thinking how much happier you could be in a relationship, think about how much fun and joy you can have with the freedom that comes with being single.^{[2]
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Research source}
- For example, if you like playing role-playing games with your friends, do it! If you enjoy building model planes or doing yoga, do it. Make your happiness a priority.

2

Pick up a new hobby.

Try something you’ve always wanted to do.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} If you feel stuck in a rut or you’re maybe not enjoying some of your usual activities as much, have no fear! You can always try something new. Maybe you’ll love it, maybe it’ll just be okay. You won’t know until you try. It’s always good to change things up to keep life interesting. You might even find a new life-long passion while you’re at it.^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- If you ever wanted to take a boxing class, go skydiving, or climb a mountain, go for it! There’s nothing (and no one) to stop you.
- You can also try something like taking classes to learn a new language or how to cook a certain cuisine (think Italian or Mexican).

3

Foster a pet or volunteer if you feel lonely.

You don’t have to be in a relationship to feel connected. If being single makes you feel down or make you feel like you’ll always be alone, don’t buy into it. Consider adopting or fostering a pet that you can take care of and spend time with. Look for volunteer opportunities in your area so you can give back and help others in need, which can give you a sense of fulfillment.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Fostering a pet is a great way to see if you like having a pet. Who knows, you might end up falling in love with your new friend and adopting them.
- Look online for volunteer opportunities with local groups like food pantries or with national ones such as Habitat for Humanity.

4

Travel somewhere new or somewhere you enjoy.

Have fun exploring the world around you.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} Book a plane ticket to visit a city or country that you’ve always want to go to. Drive to a nearby town or revisit a city you haven’t seen in years. Go somewhere that feels exciting or somewhere that makes you feel comfortable and at ease. You’re free to do whatever you like—take advantage of it!^{[7]
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- If you’ve always wanted to see the Grand Canyon or go to Paris, you have much more time and opportunity if you’re single. Go for it!
- You don’t always have to travel far, though. If there’s a burger joint you just love the next city over, go check it out and enjoy yourself.

5

Focus on quality self-care.

Eat well, exercise, and make sure you get enough rest. Take care of both your mind and your body and you may not be as bothered about being single. Start following a healthy diet that includes lean proteins, healthy fats, whole grains, and lots of fresh veggies. Try to get more active and exercise a little bit every day. Go to bed early enough to get at least 7 hours of restful sleep each night.^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Exercise doesn’t have to be something crazy if you’re new to it. You can always take a nice walk or a relaxing bike ride.
- One of the more positive side effects of taking care of yourself is that you’ll start feeling (and looking) better as well!

6

Connect with your friends and family.

Stay in touch with the people you care about. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you don’t have a ton of healthy relationships in your life. Spend time hanging out with your friends and family. Get to know them better and connect with them more deeply. You may find that healthy, platonic relationships can make you feel happier and more fulfilled than even a romantic one.^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- You can visit your family or just give them a call every now and then to stay in touch.
- Go out and have some fun with your friends! You can catch a movie, go eat some tasty food at a restaurant, grab a drink at a bar, or just hang out and watch some TV.

7

Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.

Keep in mind that your thoughts aren’t necessarily true. The next time you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself, take a second to really question it. Think about why you might be thinking it and whether or not it’s actually true. Counter negative thoughts with positive ones and you may notice you’re not so upset about being single. With practice, you’ll get better at catching negative thoughts before they get a chance to take root.^{[10]
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- For instance, if you find yourself thinking something like, “I’m going to be single and alone forever,” try rethinking it in a more positive way like, “Being single means I can focus on myself and spend time doing things I like to do.”
- It can sometimes be easy to listen to your negative thoughts and feelings without even realizing it.

8

Figure out who you are and what you stand for.

Determining your values can give you a sense of direction.^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.} Being single means you have plenty of time and opportunity to evaluate yourself and think about where you want to be in life. Think about what changes you’d like to make, skills you’d like to learn, activities you’d like to do, or new attitudes you’d like to develop. Knowing what you want can make it easier for you to focus on the ways you can make it happen.^{[12]
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Research source}
- For instance, if you want to start your own design company, you can focus on learning the skills you need, researching what it takes, and saving the money to make it happen.
- You may find that there are some things that you’d like to change about yourself, and that’s great! You can definitely make it happen and be the person you want to be.

9

Work on improving yourself.

Your own personal growth can bring its own satisfaction. Being in a relationship often means you have to account for your partner’s thoughts and feelings in addition to your own. If you’re single, you’re freer to pursue your own passions and interests. Instead of thinking about finding a partner, focus on yourself. Commit to doing whatever it takes to make your dreams a reality and you may not have time to worry about a relationship.^{[13]
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- For example, if you want to get in shape, you can join a gym and commit to taking fitness classes and following a healthy diet to do it.

10

Explain your feelings to your coupled friends.

It can help them understand if you’re open to sharing. People who long for a partner or a romantic relationship can sometimes experience something known as “ambiguous grief,” which can feel a lot like you lost someone close to you. If your friends that are in relationships sometimes make you feel sad or uncomfortable, talk to them about it. Tell them if something they do exacerbates your grief and they may understand where you’re coming from and make changes to prevent it from happening in the future.^{[14]
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- For instance, if your friend talks to you about arguments they have with their partner and they expect you to take sides and condemn their partner’s behavior, but the next day they’re back to being madly in love with them, it can understandably make you feel uncomfortable. Tell them how you feel so they can understand it.

11

Be open to dates but don’t put them on a pedestal.

It can put a lot of pressure on yourself and your date. While you don’t have to be on the lookout for a new relationship, if an opportunity for a date arises, pay attention to how you feel. If you want to give it a shot, go for it! But at the same time, try not to get your expectations or your hopes so high that you might be willing to overlook red flags or signs that maybe the relationship isn’t right for you.^{[15]
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- There’s no harm in having a nice dinner with someone that you might like. But try not to think of them as future relationship material until you’ve had a chance to really get to know them.

12

Try dating yourself instead.

Treat yourself the way you’d like to be treated. If you’d like to visit a museum or go to a fancy restaurant, you don’t have to wait for a date to take you there—go yourself! Buy yourself flowers if you like or pick up a ticket to check out a concert you want to see. Take yourself out and enjoy your own company.^{[16]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- You don’t even need a reason or a special occasion. If you want to go out and enjoy yourself, do it!

Warnings

Be careful not to give in to social pressure to get a desperate partner. This could lead you into toxic relationships, and it's very damaging.

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Especially if you're Catholic, you don't necessarily have to be celibate to become a priest (if you're a boy) or a nun (if you're a girl), unless you obviously feel that you have a vocation for it. Remember that this life is much harder than you think.

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