How to Attract an Older Woman (Teens)

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: September 9, 2022 References

Older women are more experienced, wiser, more mature, and more confident. So how do you attract one? It's hard enough to attract an older girl, but you've really got the odds stacked against you when you're a teenage guy trying to make an impression on someone older than you. But if you exude confidence, expand your horizons, and show the woman that you're exactly the breath of fresh air she needs, you'll attract her in no time. If you want to know how to catch the eye of an older woman, just follow these steps.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Her Want You

1
Be confident.^{[1]
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Research source} If you want to attract an older woman, then confidence is absolutely key. If you're a teen, then you're probably still figuring out who you are, who your friends are, what you want to do with your life, and how you fit in. That's all fine, but when you see or hang out with the older woman, this stuff shouldn't come to the forefront. Instead, you should show her the positive thoughts you have about yourself. Hey, you may still be figuring it out, but you love who you are, you love hanging out with other people, and you love having a good time.^{[2]
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Research source}
- If she sees you noticing her, stand tall and proud.
- Show the woman that you're comfortable with yourself instead of trying to fit in all the time.
- You should speak clearly, make eye contact, and act like you know what you're talking about -- even if you don't.
- It's natural to have insecurities, and as you get to know the woman or older girl, you can bring those out, but you should come out strong out of the gate.
- Remember your competition -- older guys who are in college or who are maybe even starting their careers. If the woman sees that you're still struggling to find yourself, she'll move on.
2
Be assertive. Being assertive is really a part of being confident. Being assertive means that you're comfortable enough with yourself to know what you want, and to be okay with telling people what you want. Instead of being wishy- washy or unsure, you should be clear about your needs -- whether it's that you want to get to know her, you want to take her out, or that you have a great idea for a date. Though you should respect her age and wisdom, don't defer to her all the time just because she's older, or she'll start to think that you don't have much to contribute.^{[3]
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Research source}
- Once you see the woman you like, let her see you notice her. Don't be shy about it. You can even smile at her, or approach her, if the timing is right.
- Don't cower in the corner. Just come up to her, even if it's only to say hi.
- If you want to be assertive, you have to say what you mean and mean what you say. Be clear, even if you're only introducing yourself.
- It's okay to get nervous, but try to minimize fidgeting, stumbling over your words, or looking at the floor because she's too beautiful.
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3
Get some experience. It may be hard to get experience when you're only sixteen years old, but every little thing you do counts. This doesn't mean that you should try to hook up with as many girls as possible or to backpack across Europe to understand what life "is really all about." It does mean that you should do what you can to broaden your horizons, so the older woman will see that you have depth and that you have some things to teach her, too. If she constantly feels like she knows everything and has to "train" you to be an adult, then things will get old fast. Here are some ways to get some experience:^{[4]
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- Travel. Spend your summer or even your spring break traveling to a new place, whether it's to Costa Rica on a service trip or just to visit a relative a few states away. The more places you see and people you meet, the more you'll see that the world is bigger than your own backyard or hometown.
- Date. You shouldn't date girls just to get experience, but dating even a girl or two can help you understand how to deal with women, and can also help you get some experience when it comes to hooking up. An older woman will be less likely to date you if it's obvious that you've never even had another girlfriend, because that's a big burden for her to take on.
- Immerse yourself in a variety of activities. You may love baseball, but if baseball is the only thing you know and love, you may run out of things to talk about with the older woman pretty quickly. Spend your Sundays volunteering, join the French culture club or school paper, or just do a few things that can help you develop a passion about a variety of subjects.
4
Be mature. Again, though it may be difficult to feel or act mature when you're a teenager, you'll have to do your best to impress the woman.^{[5]
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Research source} Women already mature a bit faster than men, and the difference in your maturity levels may be more noticeable if you're a few years -- or more -- younger than the woman. You should work on controlling your moods, having reasonable reactions to disappointing or upsetting situations, and minimizing your vulgar language, fart jokes, and other loud noises that may go over well with your buddies on the football team.
- Part of being mature is being in control of your feelings.^{[6]
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  Research source} Let the woman see that you don't get easily angry or upset, or she'll think you're throwing a temper tantrum.
- Another part of being mature is to not complain about every little thing. If you complain about the minor things that irk you, the woman will think that you don't have the good sense to appreciate all of the wonderful things in your life.
- Avoid gossiping about your friends or other people the woman may know.^{[7]
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  Research source} She may love to gossip too, but try not to do it too much, especially at first, or she'll think that you're not mature enough to respect people who aren't in the room.
- Be polite to everyone you see. If you take her out, be polite to servers and anyone else you encounter. This is a big sign of maturity.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Keeping Her Hooked

1
Keep things fun. You should work on developing the characteristics that would make you appeal to an older woman, but you shouldn't forget to keep things fun.^{[8]
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Research source} There must be something she likes about hanging out with or even dating a younger guy -- one of those things could be that younger guys have less baggage than older guys, and less worries about their college classes, jobs, or whatever it is the guys in her age bracket normally worry about.
- There's a difference between being immature and goofing off. Every woman loves to goof off from time to time, so don't be afraid to show her the silly aspects of your personality.
- Make her laugh.^{[9]
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  Research source} If your sense of humor is one of your best features, don't hide it because you worry it'll make you look immature if you try to make her laugh. As long as you pick relatively tasteful jokes, you'll be fun.
- Keep it light. Though you want her to see that you have depth, you don't have to talk about the most serious thoughts you have late at night the second you meet her. Have a good time first -- the rest will come later.
2
Use your age to your advantage. Don't think of being younger as a hindrance -- instead, it should be something that appeals to the woman. Your boyish good looks, amazing dance moves, or goofy jokes can be exactly what the woman likes about you. Don't say, "I know I'm only seventeen, but..." Instead, act like you love being seventeen and that the world is your oyster.
- Maybe you haven't done that many things, but you can impress the woman by talking about all of the things you will do, and how excited you are about life.
- Impress her with your energy and enthusiasm. You may be a lot more energetic than guys her own age -- and that's a good thing.
- Try not to tell her your age right away, either. If she asks, say something like "old enough to be an awesome guy." This helps create a sense of mystery in your relationship.
- Not talking about your age forces her to get to know you for who you are, rather than how old you are. Once she's gotten to know your character, you can share more about your age.
3
Avoid topics that make you sound young. Though you obviously can't -- or shouldn't -- hide your age, you should avoid topics that make her realize how young you really are. If she's a college student and you're only in high school, then you shouldn't talk too much about the Homecoming game, your tenth period math class, or about that time when you got detention for talking back to a teacher.
- You shouldn't hide high-school like aspects of your life, but you shouldn't emphasize them either. Talk about your family, friendships, or current events -- make her see you outside your high school bubble.
- If you're both in high school or college but you're a freshman and she's a senior, talk more about the things you want to do later in your coursework instead of what it's like to be brand-new at a school. It's likely that she's matured a lot between her freshman and senior year, and if she's constantly reminded that you're only a freshman, she'll see that you may have a lot of growing up to do.
4
Be independent.^{[10]
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Research source} An older woman will have more mature friendships, more varied and intense interests, and a more busy schedule. Though you may want nothing more than to spend as much time as possible with this woman, you need her to see that you have your own friends, your own schedule, and your own needs.
- If you start dating each other seriously, then you may start spending a lot of time together, but if you're just trying to attract her and get her attention, you can't be clingy or she'll be turned off.
- If she does hang out with you, don't say, "When can I see you again?" right away. Play it cool and ask her out a few days later.
- Talk about your schedule. Let her see that you have a lot going on too. If she thinks that all you do is sit at home and play video games and wait for her to call, she'll be less eager to hang out with you.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Treating Her Right

1
Be a gentleman. If you want to treat an older woman right, then you absolutely have to be a gentleman. This may be a foreign concept to you, but all it really means is that you should treat her like a lady and give her kindness and respect. If you pick her up in your car, hold the passenger door open for her, and hold the door open for her if you enter a restaurant or any other location. If she comes over, take her coat and hang it up. Here are some other ways to be a gentleman:^{[11]
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- Show up on time, or even a little early. Let her see that she means a lot to you.
- Always complement her. Tell her she looks stunning, beautiful, or however she may look that day. Don't be embarrassed to tell her what you really think -- this will win her over as long as you do it in moderation.
- Don't spit, scratch yourself, burp, or do other un-gentlemanly things.
- Always look nice. Make an effort to shower, groom yourself, and to wear unwrinkled and well-fitting clothing. This will show her that you've put thought and effort into seeing her.^{[12]
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  Research source}
- Take her out on nice dates. Don't take her to the local Burger King. You may not have a lot of spending money, but you should make an effort to do something that is at least romantic, even if it's eating at a dimly-lit sushi bar or taking a long walk on a starry night.
2
Show a real interest in her. Don't make her think that you just have a fetish for older women and that being with her or talking to her means you've won some kind of prize. Instead, you should ask her about her interests, what she likes to do on the weekends, and about the relationships that mean the most to her. As you're getting to know her, you don't have to pry or interview her, but you should show that you want to know who she really is -- it's cool that she's four years older than you, but that's not her defining characteristic.
- When you see her, ask her how her day was. It can be as simple as that.
- Ask her opinion on a variety of subjects, from her favorite bands to a new political candidate.
3
Keep up a good conversation. Older women tend to be more confident and experienced than younger women, which means that they can keep up a better conversation a lot of the time. While recapping last night's football game for an hour may be okay with your buddies, you should make an effort to read the papers, watch the news, and read interesting literature that makes you a more well-rounded person. This way, you'll not only broaden your horizons, but you'll have more to talk about.^{[13]
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- If you read something really interesting that day, talk to her about it. See what she thinks.
- Talk about relationships. You can discuss you relationship with your siblings, or your bond with a close friend -- just don't talk about your ex-girlfriend.
- Talk about your travel experiences. Even if all you did was spend a summer a few states away, discuss the interesting aspects of your trip.
- Maintain a witty banter. If she says something funny, don't just laugh, but counter her comment with another funny statement. This will show her that you can really keep up.
4
Don't bring up your age difference all the time. Though it may have been amusing or fun for her to be talking to a younger guy at first, you don't have to keep joking about how much younger you are, or how she's so much more experienced. Unless you want her calling you "junior" and thinking of you as a kid brother, you should avoid mentioning this too much, or she'll think that you're obsessing over it -- or worse, she may start obsessing over your age difference too.
- Don't bring it up in front of others, either. If you're meeting her friends or introducing her to your friends, keep it cool. Her friends may not even notice that you're a bit younger if you play your cards right.
5
Don't forget to be yourself.^{[14]
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Research source} You may be so focused on trying to impress and attract an older woman that you may be forgetting who you really are. You shouldn't act like a different person completely, or she'll see right through you. No woman wants to be with a guy who isn't genuine.^{[15]
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Research source} Remember that you're building your maturity and developing desirable qualities that would make you appeal to a woman -- or any woman, really -- but that it doesn't mean you have to be someone else completely.
- If you have a secret "dorky" hobby, don't be afraid to tell her about it if it means a lot to you.
- Let her see the best qualities that your other friends see. The friends who are your age must like you for some reason, so don't hide your strongest qualities completely.

Warnings

Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

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Don't overdo the trying to make her laugh, she may find you annoying.

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Be careful that you aren't stalking a girl. Restraining orders really can curb true love.

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