11 Subtle Flirty Texts to Intrigue Your Crush

Co-authored by Julianne Cantarella and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: September 13, 2021 References

When you’re messaging someone you like, we know it can be a little tricky figuring out what to say without coming off too strong. If you want to keep the person on their toes, acting coy can make you seem even more mysterious and desirable. Keep reading for a ton of helpful tips and example messages for you to send to help you play a little hard to get!

1

Use their name.

Dropping the person’s name shows that you’re thinking of them. You don’t need to use their name in every message, but saying it a few times here and there signals that you’re interested in them. You could say their name whenever you ask a question or when you’re signing off for the night. Some things you might try include:^{[1]
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- “It was so nice talking to you, Bryan.”
- “Hey Alex, how are you doing today?”
- “Oh that sounds like so much fun, Cammy!”

2

Tease them.

Act playful and flirty so the person wants to keep talking. While you shouldn’t be mean or pick on the person, it can be fun to poke a little fun every now and then. You could repeat something they said earlier as a joke or make a playful comment about something silly they just said.^{[2]
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- For example, you could send something like, “OMG, you’re such a goof for saying that!”
- As another example, if another person made a typo earlier on, you could use the misspelled word again in your message and add a winky face, like “Oh yeah, tell me more about how much ‘fum’ you had ;)”

3

Ask them more questions.

Get the other person to open up more so you’re not the center of attention. If you don’t want to talk about yourself anymore, send the person some questions of your own.^{[3]
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Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} Try to learn as much as you can about the other person and get them talking about themselves. Ask some interesting questions about their life, where they grew up, or the things they like to do. The person may be so caught up replying to you that they’ll forget to ask about you, so they’ll have to reach out again. Some questions you could try include:^{[4]
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- “What’s your favorite movie?”
- “What was the best part of your day today?”
- “What’s something you’re most proud of?”
- “How was growing up in your hometown?”

4

Say something a little sensual.

Make the person want you even more with a suggestive comment. Don’t come off too strong by sexting or saying something really inappropriate. Keep it subtle and a bit open-ended to get the person’s imagination going. Take this chance to flirt and let them know you’re interested without being too direct. For example, you could try saying:^{[5]
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- “Can you guess what I dreamt about last night? ;)”
- “I was just thinking about you…”
- “I can think of one way to make my day a little better.”

5

Mention things you like to do briefly.

Hint at what you do in your free time to keep the person intrigued. You don’t need to tell the person every detail about what you did last night or the hobbies you have. Casually bring up what you like to do so you get their attention, but don’t feel like you need to explain everything.^{[6]
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Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} You don’t have to be extremely secretive, but keep it a little mysterious. That way, the person knows what you like to do, but they’ll still want to keep in touch so they can learn even more about it.^{[7]
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- For example, you could say, “My day was good! I just ran some errands and now I’m watching TV.” Here, you don’t mention what errands you ran or what you’re watching, so it makes the person wonder about you more.
- As another example, you might try, “I just got back from seeing some friends.” You don’t need to mention who you were with or what you were doing with them.

6

Reveal more about yourself over time.

Keep your life a little mysterious so the person wants to learn more about you.^{[8]
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Julianne Cantarella
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.} The other person probably wants to get to know you better, but you shouldn’t rush into telling them everything. If they ask a question about your life, give them an answer so you don’t seem rude. Just tell them a few details so they have to keep prying and talking to you to learn more. Avoid going into your whole life story and bringing up past relationships right away since you can build up to that later on.^{[9]
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- For example, if the person asks where you’re from, you could just say something like, “Just a small town in southern California. You?”
- As another example, you might say, “I have a couple of younger siblings at home,” but you don’t have to mention their names, ages, or where “back home” is.

7

Make yourself seem busy.

Tell the person that you already have plans so you don’t seem as available. If the person asks you to hang out or chat, let them know that you’re already doing something else, even if you’re not. You don’t have to tell them what you have going on if you don’t want to, and that could make you seem even more mysterious. Make sure you don’t do this every time the person asks though, or else they won’t think you’re interested. A few times here and there is enough to make the person more curious about what you have going on.^{[10]
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- For example, you could say something like, “Hey sorry, I already have a few things going on today so I can’t hang out.”
- As another example, you might try, “I’d love to hang out, but I’m a bit busy right now.”
- Try to reschedule a new time so the person doesn’t think you’re disinterested. For example, you might say, “Dang, it isn’t a good time for me right now. Can we talk tomorrow?”

8

Wait to text them back.

Keep them waiting between messages so they have a chance to miss you. While it’s nice to have a quick conversation and reply right away, you could come across as too eager or excited. Instead, leave their message on read and take your time responding. Unless they bring up something that’s really time-dependent, give it about an hour or two before you reply to make it seem like you’re doing other important things.^{[11]
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- Still try to message the person within a day of receiving their message. Otherwise, it could come across that you don’t really care and they may feel hurt.

9

Try not to overreact to things.

Keep your cool talking to the other person so you seem more mysterious. If the person sees that you’re too eager or excited from talking to them, it could potentially turn them off. You should tell the person how you’re feeling, but take a deep breath and reread your message to make sure it doesn’t come off too strong.^{[12]
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- For example, if the person mentions that they like you, don’t say something like, “I’m so obsessed with you.” Instead, try something like, “I’m feeling a bit of a connection too :)”.

10

Keep your messages short and sweet.

Short texts make the person want to reach out more often. A long message can be pretty revealing, so shorten up your texts so you seem more mysterious. That doesn’t mean responding to everything with 1- or 2-word replies, but it does mean only saying the information you need to get across. If you’re typing out a long reply, look for what’s the most important thing in the message and shorten it down. That way, they’ll keep texting you for more information.^{[13]
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- For example, you could say something like, “Yeah, I had a lot of fun today with my friends.” This lets the person know what you did, but it doesn’t give them any additional details.
- As another example, rather than going into a long rant about a bad day at work, you could just say something like, “Ugh, it was not a good day at work.”

11

Act a little distant after being affectionate.

Shift your attention to something else to seem like you don’t need the person. After giving them a little bit of attention, take a little break from messaging the person or talking about deep topics. Use short responses and try not to flirt with them at all for a little while to keep the person wanting more. While it may seem like you’re sending some mixed messages, it might actually intrigue the person so they’re more willing to reach out to you again.^{[14]
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Community Q&A

Question

How do you keep a conversation going if you don't know what to say?

twigberry

Community Answer

Ask them a question. If they have been asking you about yourself, ask them about themselves! Start with, "Where are you from?" or "What's your favorite _____?"

Warnings

Avoid acting coy or playing hard to get all the time because the other person might think that you’re just playing with their feelings.^{[15]
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