How to Be More Independent As a Teen Girl

Last Updated: March 7, 2023 References

Becoming more independent as a teen feels amazing—you get to make more of your own choices, decide who you really want to be, and learn how to rely on yourself. But how do you become more independent, especially when you’re still living at home and dealing with school? Don’t worry—it’s totally possible! This article will walk you through some easy steps you can take to start living more independently as a teen.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Learning Practical Life Skills

1
Learn to get around by yourself. Today's teens are less interested in driving than previous generations were, so getting your driver's license might not be a top priority for you now. But you'll still need to find means of getting around when you need to run errands or go to work. You won't feel strong and independent if you are relying on your parents to drive you everywhere.^{[1]
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- Bicycling is becoming an increasingly popular mode of transportation. Many towns are adding bike lanes on public streets to make cycling safer.^{[2]
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- If your town has public transportation, learn how to get around safely by train or bus. Public transportation is also good for the environment, because there are fewer cars on the road.
- If possible, learn to drive even if you don't plan to buy a car – it is a valuable life skill to have in case of an emergency.
2
Learn to cook. You may have heard of the “Freshman 15,” the fifteen pounds many students gain their first year of college because they eat nothing but junk food. You won't need to worry about this if you learn how to cook tasty, healthy meals for yourself now.

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3
Take on more responsibility around the house. You will need to know how to take care of yourself when you leave home for work or college, and the best time to learn these skills is now. Ask your parents if there is anything they would like help with, and offer to pitch in.^{[3]
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Rahti Gorfien, PCC
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 17 December 2019.} They will be very impressed that you volunteered to help without being asked, which will go a long way to proving how responsible you are.
4
Improve your social skills. The ability to interact with others and form healthy relationships is crucial to becoming a well-adjusted, independent teen girl. Healthy social interaction improves your self-confidence, teaches you how to work as a team and settle disputes, and may even improve your cognitive abilities.^{[4]
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- Taking a theater class is a great way to overcome shyness and feel more confident in all areas of your life.
- Getting involved with volunteer work will help make you a kinder and better person, and will help you relate better to people in general.
5
Date responsibly. Most parents base the age they allow their daughters to date on her level of maturity. Your parents need to trust you to recognize dangerous situations, and to come to them for help if needed. If your parents have given you permission to date, understand that they are trusting you with a huge amount of responsibility.^{[5]
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- Don't let dating interfere with your schoolwork. A good boyfriend or girlfriend will be supportive, and won't drag you down or distract you from your goals with needless drama.^{[6]
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- Always follow curfew times and any other rules your parents impose. If your parents are constantly worried about where you are, they will limit your independence with stricter rules.
- Keep the lines of communication open with your parents. Introduce them to your friends and dates, so they will know that you are hanging out with good people.
- Avoid dangerous situations and unstable people. In the US, it is estimated that 25% of teen girls have been abused, physically or emotionally, by someone they were dating.^{[7]
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6
Practice good housekeeping. Unless you are independently wealthy, you'll need to do your own housekeeping when you have your own apartment, so you might as well learn to do these things for yourself now. Although housekeeping may appear simple, there are actually a lot of little things you'll need to learn.
- When doing laundry, don't put bright colors or new jeans in with light-colored clothing, because the dyes can run and ruin the entire load.
- Always start dusting on the top shelf, and work your way down. And always dust before vacuuming, or you'll just be knocking dust all over your clean floor.
- As an added bonus, your parents may even increase your allowance in exchange for doing additional chores – but that shouldn't be your only incentive to help out.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Taking Your Education and Career Plans Seriously

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Get good grades. If you and your parents are happy with your grades, keep up the good work! If you feel your grades need improvement, make it known that you are working to improve them. Your parents will be far more likely to grant you more independence if they aren't worried about your school performance.^{[8]
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- Try to stay positive; feeling discouraged and defeated will only interfere with your progress.^{[9]
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- Ask your teachers for help as soon as you notice you are falling behind. Don't wait until you are so far behind that you are struggling, or it will be harder to catch up. ^{[10]
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- Ask your parents if they would be willing to hire a local college student to help you with your most challenging subject.^{[11]
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- Bring a digital pen to class. Smart pens transfer your notes to digital form while you write, and record lectures so you can listen to them later at home.
2
Travel whenever possible. Travel is an excellent way to experiment with independence. Check with your guidance counselor to see what opportunities are available through your school, or research commercial options online.
- Clubs and teams often travel together as a group. The debate team usually travels out of state for tournaments, and sports teams travel for state finals.
- If your school or club organizes a trip for a charity organization, they will invite the students who have some experience with volunteer work.
- Studying abroad as an exchange student is a wonderful way to establish your independence. With a good GPA and well-rounded transcript, you may qualify for a scholarship to help cover the costs.^{[12]
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- Consider a language-immersion program through an organization like API. You'll be living in another country while you study the native language.^{[13]
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3
Research schools and career paths that interest you. Learn all you can about jobs that you might enjoy, and what skills and education they require. Research schools you would like to attend, and what you need to do to earn scholarships and grants. Your parents will be more willing to give you more freedom if they know that you are thinking about the future.^{[14]
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- Don't avoid making a decision because you worry that you will limit yourself.^{[15]
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  Rahti Gorfien, PCC
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 December 2019.} You will be free to make changes to your plans later, as you encounter new opportunities.^{[16]
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- Discuss career options with your parents. Be honest with them, and speak to them as an adult.^{[17]
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- Visualize your future. Imagine yourself having a certain type of job, or studying a particular subject, and see if it feels right for you. Studies show that visualization helps to achieve goals.^{[18]
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4
Monitor your social media presence. As tempting as it is to post things impulsively, try to be careful about what you post to the internet. A good online reputation is a definite asset. As you gain more freedom and independence as a teen, be careful that your current actions don't negatively affect your future.^{[19]
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- Prospective employers will almost certainly research your social media presence and take that into account when deciding whether to hire you.
- The more competitive schools may want to see your social media accounts, as well. Even if you don't think anyone will directly check your accounts, it's better to play it safe.
- Anything you post to the internet is out there forever, and you may not even be aware that it's visible to the public. Consider googling yourself, and do a little damage control if necessary.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Managing Work and Money

1
Earn your own money. Instead of relying on your allowance, find ways to earn your own money. This will show your parents that you are willing to take on responsibility. If you are having difficulty finding a traditional job without having work experience, there are plenty of other ways a teenager can make money.^{[20]
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- Digitize people's paper photographs, or old home videos. Your parents' friends might not have the time to do this themselves, but they might be willing to pay you to do it for them.
- Mow lawns or do yard work. This is one of the traditional ways for a teen to earn money, and it can pay pretty well if you are the outdoorsy sort.
- Make your own jewelry and sell it on Etsy. You could also ask local clothing shops if they would be willing to sell your creations for a percentage of the profits.
- If you excel at a particular school subject, offer to tutor younger students.
- Offer coaching or lessons in anything you are good at, such as weightlifting or playing the guitar.
- Work as a mother's helper, helping busy parents with housekeeping and childcare.
2
Learn about personal banking. Part of being an independent teen is learning to manage your own money, but it is also a big responsibility. Having your own accounts will save you money on check-cashing fees and other high-cost financial services. However, you will need to understand a few basic concepts before opening an account.^{[21]
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- Open a savings account, and don't touch it. The earlier you begin saving, the less money per day you will need to save in order to save the same amount.
- Some banks offer special checking accounts for teens, with reduced fees and no minimum required balance.
- Keep track of the balances in your accounts by regularly checking them online.
- Memorize your bankcard PIN and online passwords, and never share them with anyone.
- When you purchase something with a debit card, think of it as cash to avoid overspending.^{[22]
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3
Create a budget. The best way to learn how to manage money is to devise a budget and stick to it. Knowing how much money you have and understanding where you spend it is the first step toward achieving financial independence.^{[23]
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- Always try to put a percentage of your money into savings, before you do anything else.^{[24]
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- Plan ahead for large expenses like gadgets or trips – know the amount you'll need and when you will need it, so you'll know how much you should be putting aside for it every week.
- Keep a spending diary. Keep track of every penny you spend, and what you're spending it on. Doing this will show you where you could cut back, so you will be able to save more.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I become more independent if I'm a teenager?

Rahti Gorfien, PCC
Life Coach
Rahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018.

Rahti Gorfien, PCC

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Start taking more responsibilities around the house without your parents asking.