How to Be the Best of Yourself

Co-authored by Camber Hill

Last Updated: July 2, 2020 References Approved

Are you living up to your full potential? Everyone is born with unique gifts and strengths, and when you make the most of your abilities, you'll improve your relationships, do better at work, and feel more fulfilled in your day-to-day life. While self-development is a lifelong process, you can start becoming the best possible version of yourself right now. First, build a strong foundation for the future by establishing good habits. Then, work on dealing with setbacks constructively and growing as a person.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Establishing Good Habits

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Prioritize. Ask yourself what is most important to you in life. Consider which values, activities, and people matter to you the most. Commit to spending your time and energy on your biggest priorities, and avoid wasting time on things that don't really matter to you.^{[1]
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- To determine your priorities, think about which aspects of your life you could live without, and which are essential to your happiness.
- For instance, you might realize that watching TV isn't a priority for you, but spending more time with your family is.
2
Identify harmful habits. As humans, it is normal for us to be imperfect and to have poor habits. In order to be the best version of ourselves, we need to identify any bad habits that we do have, and eliminate them. There are some bad habits that are more obvious than others, such as smoking or drinking. However, there are other bad habits that are not so obvious.
- For example, you might lead an inactive lifestyle, where you sit all day and do not exercise often. You may have irregular sleeping patterns that affect your mood and health, or you may engage in negative self-talk that lowers your self-esteem.
- Once you are able to identify your bad habits, visualize how you want to be, and set goals to help you get there. For example, perhaps you want to lose weight. Instead of sitting on the couch all day watching television you could go for a daily walk in the park. If you feel sluggish and fatigued all of the time, you can create a sleep schedule that states when you go to bed and when you wake up.
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3
Practice healthy habits. Taking care of your physical and mental health is a key component of self-development. Stay physically healthy by eating a varied, nutritious diet, getting some exercise every day, and sleeping eight hours every night. To maintain good mental health, meditate regularly and learn to manage your stress in a positive way.^{[2]
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- A few good ways to manage stress include setting healthy boundaries, doing deep breathing exercises, and writing in a journal.
- Good habits develop over time with repetition and self-determination. You will need to be consistent and persistent in your attempts, especially if you are trying to replace a bad habit with a good one.
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Set goals. Think about what you want to achieve, both in your personal life and at work or school. Then find ways to make it happen. As you achieve your goals, set new ones to work towards.^{[3]
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- Set goals that are SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.
- For instance, instead of setting a vague goal like “write a novel,” you could set a goal to write a 60,000-word rough draft in two months.
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Avoid procrastination. Get important tasks done right away instead of leaving them until the last minute. Limit your access to time-wasting activities until you've checked everything off your to-do list for the day.^{[4]
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- For instance, if you're tempted to play video games in your room, do your homework at the library instead.
- If you have an ongoing problem with procrastination, you may find it helpful to ask yourself what you're really trying to avoid, and why.
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Gain other perspectives. Whether you have bad behavioral habits (such as spending too much money) or mental habits (like insecurity or low self-esteem), try reaching out to others to gain a different perspective on the situation. Tell them how you feel and how you would like to improve yourself.
- Choose someone you trust who has good qualities that you admire and respect. Make sure that this person will validate your need for change. They should give you valuable advice and not just tell you to “get over it.”
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Treat other people well. Be courteous and polite when you interact with others. Lend a hand if someone around you needs help. Avoid putting other people down or gossiping.^{[5]
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- For instance, if you have a new co-worker, show them around and make them feel welcome.
- Use good manners all the time, even when you're stressed or feeling down.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Overcoming Setbacks

1
Keep a positive mindset. Instead of letting a failure get you down for weeks, think about what you learned from it. Remind yourself that no one is successful all the time, and setbacks are a necessary part of making progress in life.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Camber Hill
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.}
- Maintain a positive mindset by developing a list of affirmations to repeat whenever you start to doubt yourself. These might include sayings like "I can do anything I put my mind to" or "Everyone was once a beginner."
2
Forgive yourself and others. Wallowing in negative emotions will only make it harder for you to move past a setback. Even if a setback was completely your fault, don't dwell on it or beat yourself up. Instead, make a plan for how you'll do better next time. Then move on.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Camber Hill
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.}
- For instance, if you failed a difficult college class, you might resolve to improve your study habits and then re-take the class.
- Another method for self-forgiveness is talking about it. Many times when you feel guilty about something, you keep the misdeed to yourself, where it only grows larger and more negative in your head. Tell someone you trust what you did and be willing to receive their support.^{[8]
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3
Take small steps forward. The best way to get over a setback is to start making progress again. Think of some small, actionable steps you can take to get back on track. Then put them into practice.^{[9]
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- For instance, if you lost your job, you could start moving forward again by making a list of other jobs you want to apply for.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Growing as a Person

1
Take full responsibility for your life. Own your personality and your choices. If you make a mistake, admit it right away and do your best to fix it. Avoid blaming your misfortunes on other people.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Camber Hill
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.}
- While you can't always control what happens to you, you can control how you react.
2
Become open-minded. You cannot expect yourself to improve or make drastic changes if you constantly stay within your comfort zone. You may be close-minded if you refuse to consider new ideas, have ritualized thinking, remain stuck in habitual patterns, or have fear and low expectations. Try to become more open-minded.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Camber Hill
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 16 June 2020.}
- Take the time to self-reflect and expand your awareness. Release judgmental thoughts, prejudices, and stereotyping of others.
- Become tolerant of others. Learn from them, and try to see their perspective as if you were in their shoes or were looking through their eyes.
3
Stay true to yourself. As the ancient Greeks said, “Know thyself.” Focus on the values and goals that are most important to you, and use them to guide your decisions. Don't let other people pressure you into going against your principles or giving up on your hopes for the future.^{[12]
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- For example, if you encounter a situation in which you feel disconnected from your own values, pause. Ask yourself, "Am I doing this for me or for them? Does this align with my values?" Go through this process each time to make sure you're being true to yourself.
4
Learn. Self-actualized people are lifelong learners. Get into the habit of educating yourself about world events and topics you're interested in. Books, radio programs, newspapers, and documentaries are all good tools for incorporating learning into your daily routine.^{[13]
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- Try listening to audiobooks during your commute, or watch a documentary instead of a TV show to unwind after work.
5
Try new things. To keep growing as a person, it's important to have new experiences. Get outside your comfort zone on a regular basis by doing things you've never done before, whether that means trying a new-to-you food, listening to a genre of music you're unfamiliar with, or traveling to a different part of the world.^{[14]
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Help other people. As you work on reaching your full potential, help others reach theirs, too. Consider volunteering for a good cause, mentoring a younger person, or just reaching out to a friend who needs a hand.^{[15]
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- Selfless acts of charity and kindness can help you step away from your own self-absorption and see the world from a different perspective. Plus, when you help those who are less fortunate than you, you add a deposit into your personal "I feel good about me" account.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I overcome a setback?

Camber Hill
Life Coach
Camber Hill is a numerologist, author, speaker, and the owner of Camber Hill Coaching based in Long Beach, California. For over 37 years, Camber has coached entrepreneurs, creatives, business executives, and professional sports figures. He has also inspired creatives in the entertainment industry such as professional directors, writers, actors, and top radio personalities. Camber’s unique use of numerology allows him to understand the under-current which drives his clients to create long-term solutions and measurable results. His work has been featured in the History Channel's "The Human Calculator," The Los Angeles Times, Palm Springs Life Magazine, and California radio programs. He is also a member of The International Coaching Federations and is a board member of the ICF Orange County's Board of Directors. Additionally, Camber is distinguished as a certified business owner by the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.

Camber Hill

Life Coach

Expert Answer

It may be hard to do, but you should try to focus on moving forward and making positive changes. After a failure or a setback, identify those negative thoughts and then turn your attention to the next step or the next positive thing you have going in your life. Soon, you'll be able to move past that failure.