How to Dissolve the Ego (According to Eckhart Tolle's Teachings)

You, in essence, are formless consciousness or stillness or presence. Ego, in this context, is the false self or current state of consciousness of humanity that doesn't let the presence (universal intelligence) shine through. In other words, it’s an entity made of mental conditioning (thoughts and emotions) through which you see and act on the world. Ego was a necessary stage in the evolution of the consciousness, but to take the next step towards conscious evolution and ensure our survival, we must recognize and dissolve the ego. Considering the current times, there is a sense of urgency, as growing unconsciousness or Ego is threatening our survival, other species and even nature that sustains us.[1] Its for those who already have an inner readiness in them i.e those in whom inner shift from thoughts to consciousness or inner space has already begun or they are ready for it. Not everyone is ready, but many are.[2] Don't just read with your mind but pay attention to any deeper feeling responses as you read. Its because feeling will get you closer to the truth than thinking.

Method 1
Method 1 of 7:

Recognizing the Ego

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    Recognize that ego, in this context, is identification with mind and form.[3] [4] When one says things like "I am a security guard,", "I am a technologist", "I am a CEO", "I am homeless", "I am a parent", "I am a writer", "I was betrayed", "I am a sufferer of some disease" etc., this is part of identification with mind or mental conditioning. Which means thinking or seeing the role or label or story, which are no more than bunch of thoughts in your head attached to the primordial 'I' thought and its other thought forms, are you. In more direct words, you become your conditioned thoughts, reactions and emotions. That's what 'mind-identification' implies in this context.
    • Ego, which is unaware of true source within, derives its sense of self from fleeting things, status, conditions, culture, looks, physical appearance, relationships, gender, experiences, stories, knowledge, history, etc. "Better" or "worse" the label or story or condition, stronger the identification. Ego says: 'I have, therefore I am. And the more I have, the more I am' and vice versa. This delusion is the opposite of the truth.
  2. 2
    Recognize form-identification. Identification with things and conditions like looks, body, diseases/illnesses, physical or mental conditions, title, money, assets, religion, gender, skin color, race, age, nationality, etc. It's all part of form identification, contributing to the 'illusory self image' of who you think you are. Ego continuously needs to feed and identify with forms to survive and strengthen its false sense of self. Since all things and conditions are subjected to the law of impermanence, that is to say fleeting, so ego lives in a constant state of fear; anxiously looking for the next thing to identify with or to maintain its existing identifications to survive. Part of the reason why thinking becomes compulsive, and fear and desire our primary motivating forces. Read Know Your True Self for more insight.
    • Here's a few questions to ask yourself:
      • What if you lost your looks, vigor and health due to aging, illness or an accident?
      • Would you feel complete if you lost your status, job, relationships, money or possessions?
    • Sooner or later you will have to relinquish these things and conditions anyway. As with aging and death approaching, all forms, relationships, concepts, and conditions that you identified with will become irrelevant and illusory. As death is stripping away of who you are not.[5] Is this not a fact?
    • This does not mean to not enjoy and honor what you have, relationships and passing pleasures of the world. In fact, when you truly realize their impermanent and passing nature,[6] you honor and enjoy them more. It’s because fear of loss and attachment to forms, relationships, memories and experiences dissolve. Their transient nature is allowed to be. Suffering arises when you seek yourself and long-lasting fulfillment in the fleeting world, relationships, pleasures, experiences and things, which they can't give. If you didn't realize this, you will be condemned to chase after experiences, sensory or sexual pleasures, relationships, and things of this world, one after another, unconsciously seeking lasting fulfillment and sense of self which they can't give.
    • Ask yourself, 'If I lost the things, assets, relationships or conditions in my life, would I feel complete?' or 'What would I be without them?'. Feel the answer within your intelligent body, rather than asking the mind. As mind, false God, may say something like "Of course, you will be diminished.". Make the deep intuitive responses through inner-body or Being as the primary source of intelligence. Read Inhabit Your Inner Body More Deeply for more depth.
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    Realize deeply that fundamentally it's all in mind. Whether its desire, fear, jealousy, conditions, happiness, sadness, stuff you have, your achievements, looks, relationships, longing, depression, your job, possessions, nationality, or any other identification. They are all ultimately thoughts and emotions that are attached to the primordial 'I' and its other forms; the Ego. Like your car becomes a thought in your head and gets attached to the primordial or conceptual 'I' thought and its other forms, that says 'I have a nice car' or 'my beatup car'. Similarly primordial 'I' thought or Egoic self attaches itself to other thought forms or labels, such as 'I have been suffering from depression/anxiety', 'I make a lot of money', 'I am an average looking person', 'I have achieved this or that', 'I am a man/woman/trans' etc. This, of course, doesn't mean to not use words and labels for communication. However, we are pointing to the phenomenon of identification with them.
    • "Ego is identification with form, primarily thought forms." Eckhart Tolle.
    • It may seem like fear, desire, longing, frustration, anger and so on are caused by the external circumstances, events and people but are actually mind created. Example: You see a "desirable" thing or person, and feelings and thoughts of desire and/or fear and/or frustration arise. Which are conditioned responses. Be very alert to recognize that 'desire' or frustration are not out there but are created by mind that seeks forms, relationships, identity, security, experiences, pleasures etc. in the transient world to enhance its ultimately fictitious sense of self with an unconscious expectation that they will fulfill it.
    • Another example: You experience pain or pressure in body and mental-emotional reactions (anxiety, worry, fear etc.) arise in response to it. Be alert to recognize that suffering is not caused by the condition (pain or pressure) but due to your conditioned thoughts, reactions and emotions in response to it. As you will read later.
    • That's why Ramanan Maharshi said "Mind is maya (illusion)".
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    Recognize the incessant, insane and suffering inducing nature of mind or 'voice in head'. Your mind is hyperactive as most of your thinking is compulsive, recurring and pointless. The same thoughts come again and again, and they trigger the same reactive thoughts and emotions, based on the conditioning. Like 'old broken records' playing in your head.[7] Also, due to thinking's often negative nature, much of it is harmful and causes serious leakage of energy.[8] This is the never stopping voice you identify with that treats the present moment as an obstacle or enemy or means to an end. The basic dysfunction.
    • Realize that you are not your mind. Here's a practice: Simply watch your mental activity. Which usually arises in the left side of your head. Can you see that this activity, or 'voice in head', is automatic, reactive, pointless, compulsive and never stops?[9] [10] . Deeply realize that it's not You but your mind or Ego generating an incessant stream of thoughts, emotions and reactions in your space of consciousness, based on its conditioning, to ensure its survival. As you will read later.
    • Here's another pointer: if you are the 'watcher' or observer of the voice, reactions and emotions (observed), how can you be them?
    • "Recognizing the false as false is meditation. This must go on all the time" Nisargadatta Maharaj. What is 'false' in you? Incessant 'voice in head' (conditioned mind) and emotions.
    • A large part of suffering and problems arise when you believe the voice, reactions and emotions are "you" and follow or believe them.[11] [12] . That's when the 'phantom self' takes over your whole life and thinking becomes compulsive. In other words, when you become the voice and emotions. That's the sickness of mind-identification or ego. You are not even there but a mind created personality or image of you.
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    See that mind is an impostor that pretends to be you.[13] Mind is a wonderful tool, but the problem comes when you seek yourself in it; then it becomes egoic mind and takes over your whole life. That's when your sense of self is derived from ever-changing content and conditioning of your mind, which is based on past and identification with forms. This does not mean that all the thoughts are painful or unproductive. However, we are primarily pointing to certain repetitive, persistent, pointless, negative thoughts, reactions and emotions that form the core of ego. Which consists of about 80-90 percent of your mental-emotional activity[14] .
    • So some thoughts (which also includes these words becoming thoughts in your head) can point you to the spiritual dimension within [15] , can be practical and counter or replace negative, repetitive thoughts and beliefs; thus not letting you fall into deeper level of unconsciousness i.e identification with mind. However, they are no ordinary, repetitive or attention seeking thoughts. So words or content can be part of your spiritual journey. However, deeply realize that words or content can at best point to the truth but are not the truth.[16]
    • You are the truth. The timeless, perfect and formless 'awareness', that is aware of the incessant voice in your head, reactions, emotions and world[17] . As ego implies unawareness of the formless dimension.[18]
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    Realize that this world is like a playground. Like a sports person has their gear, training, tactics, strategies, practice etc. for a match or game or event, in the same way, you have your body, things, mind and knowledge, as your gear, to play in this playground, this world.[19] Realize that it's just a 'gear' or 'equipment' and not 'you’. Yes, this gear (mind, body, skills and knowledge) has its place to play in this world, but that does not mean you need to identify or lose yourself in it. You, in essence, are formless consciousness and you share that essence with all beings.[20] It's because we are all expressions of One life.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 7:

Recognizing the impersonal nature of mind

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    Recognize the impersonal nature of mind. Like a code or program repeatedly performs the same function, in the same way your mental conditioning runs you as a bundle of conditioned reflexes or reactions[21] . That is to say, [[Make Your Relationships Into a Spiritual Practice|you are not even there] but a mind created 'personality' or entity or psychological image or 'sense of self' that labels, judges, reacts, interacts with other mind created images, personalities and world. So no wonder why most of the human interactions and relationships are so inauthentic. It doesn't matter where you are, as long as ego is running your life, same egoic patterns will emerge in different situations and places. Hence the saying "Wherever you go, there you are"?
    • This is one of major reasons why ego is not personal. As all egos have same basic structure that is based on fear, desire, comparison, greed, attack, defend, survival, seeking conflict and enemies, resistance to what is, and primarily identification with forms. No matter how well disguised.[22] In other words, Egos differ only on the surface, deep down they are all the same. So words or content or stories that Ego identifies with could be different on the surface but the underlying energy and structure is of the Ego. For example: Most people compare themselves with others using different aspects like looks, height, life stories, strength, money, wealth, nationality, skills, job, background, title, gender, location, even illnesses etc. to feel superior or inferior, balance the comparison, judge, complain, feel victim, etc. The words, language, aspects, things and so on they use to compare may be different on the surface but underlying energy and structure is of the Ego that feeds on comparison, division, reactivity and so on.
    • So if you consider Ego a personal problem or personalized someone's unconsciousness, that's a sign of more ego. As ego loves to thrive on it. Once you truly see the impersonal and dysfunctional nature of conditioned mind or Ego, you naturally relinquish identification with it, become non-reactive, forgiving, tolerant and compassionate towards yourself and others. Events and egoic patterns are not personalized or labelled as good or bad or even neutral. The 'fact of the moment' is allowed to be.
Method 3
Method 3 of 7:

Watch the Mind

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    Watch the mind. Our mind is conditioned by thousands of years of cultural, societal, genetic and years of personal conditioning, which have a strong momentum. So trying, controlling, resistance or using will power, which are aspects of limited mind, in an attempt to watch the mind are futile and in fact strengthen the ego[23] . It's because problems of the mind cannot be solved at the level of mind. That's why it is said that you don't become good by trying to be good, but finding the good that's already within you.
    • So simply watch the automatic conditioned narration or commentary of mind with high alertness. When you watch, you reclaim trapped consciousness from the mind and more clearly see the dysfunction and irrationality of the 'voice in the head' that causes so much self created suffering by resisting, commentating and labelling 'what is'.[24] . Its because 'Watching' or awareness is a new dimension of consciousness that is not part of thinking mind. More you practice watching the mind, compulsive and conditioned thinking slows as your presence deepens.
    • Example: Have you noticed when you procrastinate, the 'voice in the head' says something like 'I can do it later' or 'You have lot of time', etc.? If you simply observe the voice and allow it to be, even if it hypnotizes you to procrastinate because of some degree of identification with it, you may notice how dysfunctional the voice and unproductive procrastination are. In a way, it's like collecting evidence (truth) to see the insanity of the 'voice in head' more clearly. That's when presence deepens and ego starts to dissolve and separation of thinking (observed) and awareness (observer) begins, as you realize that you are not your mind but the observing presence behind it.
    • Similarly, when you detect mental-emotional resistance within, just observe and allow it to be. Deeply realize that resistance serves no purpose and in fact is dysfunctional, keeps the undesirable situation, condition and thought patterns in place, and is more disturbing than the original cause its trying to dissolve[25] .
      • Watching the 'voice in head' or mind also includes to watch and detect the background psychological unease, non-verbal urges, tension, impulses, mental noise and pre-verbalized thoughts and reactions, which are aspects of egoic mind, that are so deeply embedded and considered normal that many people are not even aware of them.
    • Watching doesn't mean to criticize or condemn or ignore or fight the 'voice in head', else it would be the same voice that came through the back door. This also implies to not treat Ego as an obstacle or enemy. Again, you can never dissolve unconsciousness or Ego by fighting, trying, controlling, suppressing, or running away from it. Bringing it in the 'light of your awareness' is all that is needed. In other words, to dissolve the ego, in essence, there is no doing or trying required but an alert seeing or acceptance. So watch it impartially without judgement.
      • Here's another way to look at it: Fighting, resistance, reactions, suppression, trying, condemning etc. arise in form of conditioned thoughts, emotions or reactions, and you are not your thoughts, reactions and emotions. True intelligence is formless, unconditioned and intuitive. That's why be aware of deeper feeling responses as you read.
      • Here's another practice: "Don't take your thoughts seriously." Eckhart Tolle.
    • Being rooted in inner body is an essential aspect to be present and to be the watcher of the mind. Else, the mind will take you over like a wild river. When you are rooted in your spacious inner body, attention is withdrawn from the mind or Egoic structures to the Now. That is to say, attention remains in its unmanifested state. You can also experiment to notice that there's no suffering when your attention is in the Now. While you suffer when attention is trapped in useless and compulsive thinking, mental patterns, emotions (negativity) and reactions.
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    Transcend the Karmic cycle and Ego created drama. Watching the thinker(mind) also transcends you beyond Karmic cycle. Its because when you are in mind identified state, you are subject to karmic cycle of action and reaction, good or bad, because your actions and words arise out of your conditioned mind, which is dysfunctional and based on past. However, when you simply watch, a new dimension of consciousness emerges through, that is not part of thinking and not subject to law of karmic cycle and mind made 'polar opposites'. As awareness has no opposite because its formless and beyond form. That's why just being aware and non reactive is so powerful and peaceful. This is the peace of One Consciousness or formless awareness that Jesus pointed to when he said "And the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and mind".
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    Observe that conditioned mind or Ego feeds on negativity. Have you noticed that when you feel sad, anxious or any other form of negativity, there is something in you that craves more negative thoughts, reactions, emotions, situations? You are looking at the ego that feeds on negativity (pain, stories, drama, and conflict) to ensure its survival.
    • "Ego thinks staying in the state of negativity and unhappiness (resistance) will get what it wants"- Course of miracles. That is, of course, a delusion. Otherwise, who would want to remain stuck in unhappiness?[26]
    • If "you" - the mind - did not believe that unhappiness works, why would you create it? The fact is, of course, that negativity (resistance) does not work. Instead of attracting a desirable situation, it stops it from arising[27] Also resistance feeds the ego, that's why it loves it. So it becomes more important to acknowledge and watch or allow the resistive mental-emotional patterns than incessant thinking.
    • You can also practice 'relinquishing resistance' or 'accepting what is' as an experiment to see if it works for you or not. Since resistance has not worked for you so far.
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    See the 'suchness' or 'isness' of the moment. Here are some examples of mental stories and narrations of 'what is' that cause so much unnecessary suffering. Often these mental stories are distortion of the truth and designed to trigger the biggest possible reactions, so Ego can feed on them to strengthen its false sense of self.
    • "She rejected me, I am ugly and a loser.", "Why is it raining? I hate this weather.", "He didn't have the decency to text me back.", 'I am feeling so uneasy. Why this feeling won't go away?' etc.
    • Can you refrain from adding mental stories or commentary or narration to 'what is' and just see the 'suchness' or fact of this moment'? Buddha called it Tathata. How simple life would be without those mental stories.[28]
    • 'She didn't want to talk to me.', 'It is raining.', 'He didn't reply.', 'I am feeling unease and tension in my body'.
    • You don't feel uncertain or angry or sad because of the situation or condition. However, you feel unhappy because of the automatic negative thoughts or stories that come in response to it.
    • "There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." William Shakespeare.
    • Here's a spiritual practice: watch the situation or condition as well as the mental-emotional reactions or thoughts that come in response to it. Rather than getting lost in event and/or letting the reactive conditioned thoughts, emotions and resistance become unconscious and run your life.
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    Relinquish all mental positions. Mental positions like viewpoints, opinions, dogmas, interpretations etc., which by their very nature are limited, are no more than bundle of thoughts that Ego has identified with to get a false sense of "I know" and "self". This identification has caused separation, conflicts, violence and wars. While only "inner space" or unconditioned consciousness or presence within can provide a true perspective or holistic answer that's in alignment with the totality of the universe.
    • Be aware and alert as ego is very clever as it may identify with facts and make them as mental positions to ensure its survival. For example: the relative fact that earth rotates or spins towards east may become a mental position in your head and in case you get into an argument with someone about it, you may be defending your mental position and not the truth. Like "Believe me that earth rotates towards east". Look closely and you will see that Ego is hiding in the word "me".
    • "Truth doesn't need any defense." Eckhart Tolle.
    • Here's an experiment: Next time you feel a compulsive need to be right or urge to react or argue or resist or defend a mental position, which is basically identification with mind and a form of violence, can you drop it just to see what happens? Allowing the 'false self' to diminish and de-emphasizing your form identity are powerful spiritual practices. That is what Jesus meant when he said "Deny thyself". This allowing of the diminishment or vulnerability makes way for your true power to shine through. The formless truth within that you are beyond your name and form.
    • "Only by becoming vulnerable can you discover your true and essential invulnerability" Eckhart Tolle.
    • However, it doesn't mean to let yourself be abused by people or put up with bad behavior. There may be times when you would have to say a non-reactive and firm no, in no uncertain terms, or take action or walk out of a situation. With spiritual energy behind your words and actions, there will be great power. Its because non-resistance makes way for the greatest power in the universe; the Intelligence itself.
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    Take responsibility of your inner state Now. "The world can change only from within" (Eckhart Tolle). What we see externally (man-made) is a result of what we thought once. Every creative and truly intelligent idea comes from the realm of consciousness, which is materialized using mind; an instrument. That's why if your inner psyche is polluted i.e when you are completely identified with dysfunctional mind, then the materialized form will be polluted as well.[29] . Its because conditioned mind obscures the true intelligence to shine through.
    • On an inner level when the mind resists what is, negativity arises. This pollutes your beautiful and sacred being or 'inner space' and that's what is seen externally in the world we inhabit.[30] Its because world is just a reflection of your inner state.
    • “The pollution of the planet is only an outward reflection of an inner psychic pollution: millions of unconscious individuals not taking responsibility for their inner space.” (Eckhart Tolle).
    • Resistance or negativity is also the cause of leakage of vital energy which could have been used to resolve or deal with the situations or challenges, instead of fighting them.
    • Taking responsibility of your inner space, which is the only thing you can truly take responsibility of, will rapidly deepen and transform your life.[31]
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Method 4
Method 4 of 7:

Dis-identifying and transmuting the Pain Body

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    Recognize what the term pain-body is pointing to. Have you noticed a surge of heaviness in your body which gets triggered by some event, thought, condition, situation or person that is peculiar and painful to you? A dark heavy cloud or "parasitic entity", in your chest, head, stomach etc., consisting of similar frequency negative emotions that takes you over, attracts negative situations and people in your life, depletes you of energy, inflicts mental-emotional suffering on yourself and others, makes your thinking extremely negative and may even make you attack others (physically and/or emotionally and/or verbally) or become their victim[32] [33] That's pain body. Pain body is one of the most powerful things that Ego can identify with.[34] . So it has great power to make you do or say things which you usually would not say or do, when you are relatively more conscious. For example: 'Normal people' committing heinous crimes during road rages.
    • Emotions are a reflection of mind in body, so when pain-body gets activated, it makes your thinking extremely negative through negative emotions and then feeds on negative thoughts. As positive thoughts are indigestible to it. This loop continues until Pain-body has fed and then it becomes dormant. Although, some people may have a pain-body that is active all the time.
    • Recognize and allow it to be. Every time you recognize and/or witness this unholy alliance between ego and pain-body, it loses energy and looks for another opportunity to feed, when you are less conscious. As unconscious identification and resistance feed the pain-body[35] So its an effective practice to catch and witness the pain-body before it takes you over. That is to say, detect it the moment it becomes activated or comes out of its dormant state.
    • Since there's no way out of pain (anxiety, fear, anger, sorrow or whatever it is), so the only way is through. So take your attention deeper into it or feel it fully but don't think about it. In other words, bring the pain-body into your 'light of consciousness' or accept it rather than fighting or trying to control or run away from it. Which are futile anyway and cause further suffering. In case pointers like 'putting attention' or 'feeling it fully' get misinterpreted as clinging or dwelling or resisting the pain body, it helps to shift attention from pain-body to inner energy field of body (wherever it feels most natural) and/or breath and/or sense perceptions and/or constructive activity. Especially when pain body is about to get activated. If that's not possible, accept it as part of "suchness" of the present moment by allowing it to be there or remove yourself from the situation, if possible.
    • When you become friendly with your pain and/or don't resist it i.e allow it to be, only then it becomes a fuel that transforms into consciousness. Like coal that burns into heat and light.
    • "If you don't mind being unhappy then what happens to the unhappiness?" Eckhart Tolle. Read How to Stay Rooted in Being for more depth.
    • You can express or describe the isness or fact of how the pain-body feels like but don't let it come up and turn into thinking.[36] Therefore an intense alertness and acceptance are needed.
    • When you become unconscious, that is to say when you become identified with thinking and emotions (or pain body), guilt may arise. Which may say something like "I shouldn't have lost my calm there." or "I shouldn't have said those things.". Observe and allow it to be. As guilt is one of the most clever ego's strategies to keep you identified with it. In other words, resisting or identifying with the feelings and thoughts of 'guilt' means Ego came through the back door. So simply forgive yourself and enter the now from there. Why add a layer of negative story and psychological pain to 'what already is' the case. Forgiveness becomes easier when you realize that one doesn't have a choice when they are in the grip of the pain-body and/or Ego. Although they still suffer the consequences of their unconsciousness i.e identification with mind.
    • As long as pain-body and Ego are not recognized as impersonal and not who you are, they will take you over again and again and make you unconscious, spiritually speaking. Also, it’s essential to dissolve the pain-body to be free of Ego, as they are close relatives and need each other.
Method 5
Method 5 of 7:

Offering No Resistance

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    Accept what is. Most natural way to live life is to completely accept the present moment the way it is. In other words, offer no resistance to life. Which is now and never not Now. There is a saying in Zen, "All that arises, passes away." Which means resistance is futile. More you are aware, deeply you realize this to be true. So completely accept whatever arises in the present moment, as if it was your choice.[37] For example: people around you, your habits (bad or good), your physical appearance, thoughts you are thinking now, negative mental-emotional interpretation or commentary of the events, people, things you said or did, suchness of pain-body, your location, life situation, experiences, condition you are in etc. Fundamentally, accept any form "this moment" takes without adding any judgments or mental labeling or commentary, because it is as it is and your whole life unfolds in the Now. This renders the mind powerless because its very nature is based on a dysfunctional relationship and resistance to the Now. That's when you clearly see what action, if needed, to take. This action is truly intelligent because its in alignment with the One consciousness.
    • If acceptance of the outer form is not possible then bring inner acceptance. This means to say an 'inner yes' to present moment, doesn't matter what you say or do externally. What does it mean to say an 'inner yes' or 'surrender to what is'?
    • It means to say 'yes' to the thoughts (including stories), persistent reactions and emotions that are arising at "this" moment in response to anything (situation, condition, people, other thoughts and emotions), by allowing, accepting, watching, being aware, giving them full attention, etc. However, you don't have to follow them. Its because identification with thoughts and emotions creates a lot of problems too[38] . When there is true inner acceptance, you step out of thousands of years of conditioning or 'living past' in you and an intelligent response, if required, comes from infinitely intelligent 'unconditioned consciousness' within. Not from limited conditioned mind. Along that intelligence comes peace and joy of Being. Infinitely greater than any pleasure or happiness that this world has to offer.
    • There will be times when you would have to say 'No,' externally, but that would be a deeper or a high quality 'no', not a reactive or conditioned one. So do experiments, like non-reactively refuse to follow some thoughts (including pre-verbalized thoughts and reactions) and then see the result. However there should always be an inner acceptance or inner yes. Or else you will suffer. Again, suffering, which is psychological, always arises due to some form of non-acceptance (negativity or resistance) to 'what is' and not because of the situation, person or condition.
    • When you are completely in inner-alignment with what happens in the now, that is to say when you are 'one with life', circumstances or conditions lose power over your state of consciousness. Just like depth of the lake remains unaffected regardless of the weather. And the miracle is when you are in inner alignment with 'what is', outer circumstances and inner conditions (illness, pain, wounds etc.) tend to heal or improve greatly and quickly without a great deal of doing on your part. Also, synchronistic chance encounters and favorable events happen more frequently. Its because you are connected to One Consciousness or One life underneath all forms.
    • If acceptance is not possible then accept that you cannot accept. Which means allow the thoughts, reactions, patterns of non-acceptance to be. Else take action or remove yourself from the situation, if possible. Anything else is madness.
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    Make present moment your best friend. Timeless present moment is your greatest friend, because that's the only time there is and when you have access to One Life or presence; the greatest power in the universe. However, when you treat the Now as a 'means to an end' or an obstacle or enemy, that's when you get problems because you are cutting yourself off from that power. Deeply realize that you can never escape, have never escaped and will never escape from present moment.[39] Since there is no escape from the Now, so why not become friendly towards it or atleast accept it? That's when Life works with you.
    • What is Now? The timeless space of consciousness where all forms (thoughts, emotions, visuals, sounds, taste, touch, words, sensations, people, events and so on) come and go.[40]
    • "Stay at the center of the circle and let everything fall into place" (Tao Te Ching). What is the 'center of the circle'? The space of present moment.
    • Past and future are no more than thoughts that you are thinking in the 'Now'. So why give them any reality?
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    Forgive. Forgive yourself and others for being unconscious i.e identified with mind. As when you don't, you are not only mistaking their and your identity with conditioned thoughts, labels and judgments you have about them/yourself and vice versa, but are also holding on to psychological burden of resentment and guilt, which not only pollutes your inner body or inner space with negativity but also keeps the Ego alive.
    • If you could realize that we are all, to varying degrees, suffering from the same impersonal collective dysfunction, i.e human unconsciousness or Ego, the greatest perpetrator of evil on this planet, it becomes easier to forgive. How can you resent someone's illness? Jesus's saying "Forgive them. They know not what they do", also applies to yourself.[41] . In other words, when people are in the grip of Ego and pain-body, they don’t have a choice. Even though it seems like it.
    • Forgiveness, which also means letting go of the story or narration or labels, becomes easier when you deeply realize that nothing you did/said or anyone did/said to you, can't touch, even the slightest, who you are in essence.
    • Be aware that forgiveness doesn't become a mental concept. True forgiveness is non-conceptual[42] Read Stay Rooted in Being for more depth. When you truly forgive yourself and others, you reclaim your power from the mind. Mind is very unforgiving; only you can forgive. This doesn't mean to let yourself be attacked or abused or continue to be with unconscious people just because you have forgiven them. Forgiveness is an inner phenomenon, as it helps dissolve the burden of psychological baggage of time (and Karma) you are carrying in your psyche. This is true freedom.
    • When there is true forgiveness, which is a form of acceptance, you clearly see what needs to be done.
  4. Image titled Accept Blame when You Deserve It Step 9
    4
    Surrender. "Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life" (Eckhart Tolle in "The Power of Now"). In other words, surrender is inner acceptance to what is, without any reservations.[43] . In more direct words, Surrender is allowing or accepting the thoughts, reactions and emotions that are arising at "this moment" in response to anything (condition, situation, thoughts, sensations, emotions or people).
    • Don't misinterpret the meaning of surrender. For example: If you have a disease or illness and you say "Ok.. I surrender to the illness", that's not surrender. Surrender doesn't mean to resign to the life situation, condition, suchness of illness and do nothing about it, which wouldn't work anyway, but yield to whatever arises within (thoughts, emotions, reactions, pain, pressure in body, sensations etc.) in the tiny segment called the Now. Else, clever Ego will continue to survive underneath the mental label or concept of surrender.
    • Ask yourself, "What's the problem at this moment?" You are reading 'this' now. Even if you are suffering from a terminal condition or illness, that condition, at "this" moment, could be pressure, weakness, physical pain, burning sensation, tension etc. you are experiencing somewhere in your body and head, and that is what you surrender to and not the label of condition or emotional story or idea of illness or condition that says something like "I have had this condition my whole life. Life has treated me harshly" or "I have been suffering from depression for last 20 years" or "I was betrayed by my own family" etc. Allow these Egoic stories or narrations, which are conditioned thoughts, that are arising in the Now, to be. Some of these thoughts (stories) can be pretty deep seated, so an intense alertness is required.
    • There's no suffering in the Now because there are no problems in the Now. As suffering needs time and a mind made story. Make the Now primary focus of your life. It’s because that's the most precious thing and only time there is.
    • Ego loves to identify with labels or stories or problems, complain, react etc. without any true intention of solving or coming out of them. In fact, ego never wants an end to its problems because they give it a false sense of self or identity. Without them, who are you? So you will only surrender when you are ready to let go of the victim story, negative thoughts about illness or condition or something that happened, resentment, complaints, resistance etc. because you realize that they have no purpose other than to keep the 'false sense of self' or Ego and suffering alive. Even if you need to take action to resolve a life situation or condition or challenge, you can do so Now because the time is always Now and you have power only in the Now.
    • "What at this moment is lacking?" Zen saying.
    • Surrender happens naturally when you relinquish the 'inner state of war' or resistance, and suffer willingly because you see the futility and suffering nature of inner resistance. You surrender because you can't take the pain or constant torture of mind (psychological suffering) anymore. The phrase from Bible "Not my will but thy will be done" points to this truth.
    • Only a surrendered person has spiritual power. Hence, there's a great strength in surrender, and it is perfectly compatible with action. It’s because in that state, your actions and words arise out of unconditioned consciousness, infinitely more powerful than conditioned mind[44] So surrendering to 'what is' is the most powerful practice to end suffering and realize who you are beyond your name and form. Also, if you look closely, you will see that all spiritual practices ultimately lead to surrender to the Now because all of them directly or indirectly point to inner acceptance of 'what is'.
    • When you truly realize that resistance is mad and futile, a peace emerges through you. This is the peace of God, that bypasses all understanding.[45]
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Method 6
Method 6 of 7:

Being Present

  1. Image titled Ask God for Forgiveness Step 10
    1
    Move deeply into the Now. Mind craves to get away from the simplicity of the present moment or awareness, as it can't stand it.[46] More you practice being in the present moment, mind will do all it can to take your attention away from it. Its because present moment is its death. So here are a few structure-less practices to anchor you to the now that don't need you to dedicate time. As you can practice them while doing day to day tasks. Experiment to see which practice/practices come most naturally and easily to you in the Now.
    • Can you simply watch and/or allow or accept the thoughts, emotions, reactions, sensations, tension within to be?
    • Can you become aware of the Now?
    • Can you feel the aliveness or peaceful inner energy field of your body? Energy of your hands, legs, neck, feet, chest and so on. [47]
    • Can you become aware of your heartbeat, surroundings, objects around, sensation of touch from the place you are sitting, sounds from the environment etc.
    • Can you become aware of your breath?
    • Can you become aware of 'Awareness'? Read How to Stay Rooted in Being for more insight on these practices.
    • Look closely and you will notice that Now is an essential aspect of each and every practice.
  2. Image titled Mind Your Mental Health when Traveling Step 5
    2
    Realize that 'You' are consciousness. Can you become aware of the space where thoughts, emotions, reactions, sensations, images, sounds etc. come and go? You are that space of 'no thought' or awareness[48] Here's another pointer: Who is aware of the sensations or tension in your body? Who knows or sees the unhappy emotions or unease in you? Who is aware of the thoughts that come and go? It's the ever-present I Am or presence, the formless experiencer, without which there will be no experience.
    • Your mind may be reacting with things like 'This article is stupid,' 'What is this?', 'I'm a loser,' 'I can't stop thinking,' 'The author is a moron,' etc. That's not you. It's your mind in its habitual resistive and survival mode, reacting to these pointers. Don't give it any reality. Just allow it to be. Your presence or awareness is more than capable of dissolving the phantom self (Ego) pretending to be you.
    • If something deeper in you responds to these words then the process of awakening has begun in you. That's why don't just read with your mind, but pay attention to any deeper feeling responses as you read. Once you learn of the basic dysfunction i.e identification with mind and workings of Ego then you don't need to learn a lot of spiritual truth to become free of it. Now is the key. Awareness is the key.
    • It's very possible that in the future the mind and/or pain-body will take you over and push you into state of suffering, despair and unconsciousness. But remember, suffering can either push you deeper into more unconsciousness or it can become your greatest teacher to enlightenment. Depending upon the degree of consciousness in you. Be aware. Stay present. Deeply realize that suffering has a noble purpose.
    • According to a Buddhist saying, "All suffering is illusion." It is true. The question is: Is it true for you?[49] Are you truly fed up of pain and suffering though?[50] Are you ready to wake up?
    • Spiritual dimension has traditionally arisen in one's life not when something was added to them but when something was taken away in form of deep loss, impending death, sickness or accident, death of a loved one, loss of status or reputation or possessions, meaninglessness, failure etc. So loss can be a great opportunity for spiritual realization.
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Method 7
Method 7 of 7:

Engaging in Practices to Dissolve the Ego

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    Listen. When you truly listen, a sacred space of knowing holds both the perceiver and perceived, that connects you with others on a much deeper level than the movement of thoughts and emotions. In that space there's no 'other'. So listen with your whole being or inner body, which is an essential part of true listening and to be present.
    • Experiment. When you find someone complaining, telling their sad story, or ranting about their life, people, in general, a particular life situation etc. then just truly listen to them without any mental interpretation or judgment, as you hold the frequency of intense presence or alertness. If egoic thoughts arise within you, allow them to be. Don't validate or confirm their story by reacting or confirming, no matter how sad or great it is. That is to say, look through their ego rather than looking at it. As when you look at the ego, it's your ego that's looking. But when you look through the ego, it's the awareness that you are looking at itself, because essence of all things and beings is formless consciousness. In other words, relinquish all mental positions or judgments and be there as a field of spacious presence. This may bring out the sanity in them and you may witness them to realize the insignificance and irrelevance of their stories, drama, complaints and problems.
    • It's because when people complain, it's the Ego that complains through them. Ego wants reactions, conflict, validation, drama and enemies to create further suffering and strengthen its illusory sense of self[51] [52] However when you hold it in the loving embrace of your awareness, without any judgments or giving any reality to its stories, it loses energy because its not getting reactions to feed on.
    • "Can you be there as the space for the other person? I would say that's the greatest gift you can give to someone" (Eckhart Tolle).
    • Similarly, your own mind complains to incite reactions, so it can feed on them. So listen and look through your mind, which also implies watching the mind. Recognize the interconnection? What you do to others, you do to yourself. So when you look through other people's ego, you also naturally go deeper within yourself. That's why it is said that human interaction can be a great spiritual practice. Read Stay Rooted in Being for more depth.
    • "Art of listening is essential for a relationship to deepen." Eckhart Tolle.
  2. Image titled Stay Positive when You Have Arthritis Step 12
    2
    Be extremely alert to detect and bring the unobserved mind patterns in the light of your consciousness. Thoughts and reactions can be slippery, quick and can be gone in just milliseconds, especially pre-verbalized or unverbalized thoughts and reactions. However, they have a great power to manipulate or hypnotize you like a puppet. So a high degree of alertness is required to detect and make them conscious.[53] One practice is to write your recurring, negative and persistent thoughts. As writing can help bring the deep seated thoughts in the light of your awareness or consciousness. Plus, it helps to give them full attention and full attention implies full acceptance.[54]
    • Of course, it can be daunting to write down thousands of thoughts and reactions. So you can just spend a few moments on this every day. If you meditate, you can also make this a part of your meditation practice, as it can help clear your mind, which allows you to go deeper within. Alternatively, you can also verbalize your thoughts. This means you verbalize and inquire into what you are feeling and deep seated mental patterns (including unspoken assumptions or reactions), as they arise in the Now, to bring them in the light of your consciousness. However, be aware that there is a sense of dis-identification from thoughts and emotions. Again, you are not your thoughts, reactions and emotions. It helps a lot to be aware of inner-body and/or breath and/or sense perceptions as you verbalize. Read How to Stay Rooted in Being for more depth.
    • You can also count your thoughts. Especially repetitive and compulsive thoughts and mental patterns. As counting can help you remain alert. Like an alert cat watching a mouse hole.
  3. Image titled Stay Positive when You Have Arthritis Step 4
    3
    Use memories to learn and become more aware. If you use your memories to learn and not for psychological suffering, they can help you become more aware of your Egoic patterns and mistakes without actually have to indulge into them again and again.
    • As an analogy, memories are like watching yourself the same way a player/athlete watches himself/herself in a video footage. You are in a more comfortable and less stimulated environment, thus are more aware. That's why having a good memory can help you become aware of the mistakes and learn from them. So you don't make the same mistakes again and again.
    • However, be honest and alert that mind doesn't falsify the memories[55] .
  4. Image titled Know if Your Thoughts Are Trustworthy Step 2
    4
    Allow. When you detect resistance within to 'what is' or whatever arises, say "I accept" or "I allow" or "I forgive" or "I surrender," or "I yield", again and again, depending on the situation or condition and whatever feels natural to you. It's even more effective, if you synchronize these phrases with your breathing.
    • If you can't accept, then 'accept that you can't accept.' Or take action immediately[56] . As far as inner transformation is concerned, in essence, there's nothing you can do about it but can only create a space for it to happen by practicing being present.
    • Realize that even if you say "I allow" or "I forgive" etc., they are just thoughts or pointers. It's what the thoughts point to, is what brings acceptance and transcendence. If you didn't realize this, you will remain stuck in the walls of concepts and thoughts. These words are not saying "look at me" but "look beyond me".[57] . Again, Truth is beyond any words and forms.
    • When you detect resistive or egoic patterns in you or others, then resistance or beating yourself over them is just more ego and keeps them in place. Instead, simply become aware and allow them to be, or shift attention away from reactions and mental patterns to present moment anchors or Now. Whichever practice feels easier and natural. When you simply allow and don't resist 'what is', egoic patterns naturally dissolve, giving way to peace and joy of Being from very deep within; the intelligence itself.
  5. Image titled Learn to Wait for What You Want Step 11
    5
    Watch egoic reactions. Have you noticed when mind experiences an undesirable stimulus (thoughts, smell, people, situation etc.), it reacts or resists or creates irritation and/or other forms of negativity? Why did the mind create it? Because it holds the unconscious belief that its resistance, which you experience as negativity or unhappiness or discontent in some form, will somehow dissolve the undesirable condition.[58] This, of course, is a delusion. The resistance (irritation, anger, discontent and so on) that it creates is far more disturbing than the original cause that it is attempting to dissolve. It may seem like the situation or condition are causing the suffering but if you look deeply, it is actually the automatic mental-emotional resistance in response to them. We spoke about this earlier.
    • "The greatest difficulty is the mental resistance to things that arise, and the underlying assumption is that they should not" (Eckhart Tolle).
    • Resisting 'what is' is no different than doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. Which is also how Einstein defined insanity when he said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."
    • To deal with the automatic mental resistance, be there as the background witnessing presence or the Knower and/or allow or accept it to be. You can also immediately shift attention from thoughts, reactions and emotions to present moment anchors like inner body, breath, or sense perceptions i.e Now. If that's not possible, accept that you cannot accept or take action or remove yourself from the situation. Whatever seems easier and natural at that moment. There are few more pragmatic practices in the article Stay Rooted in Being.
  6. Image titled Fight Depression and Loneliness Without Outside Help Step 2
    6
    Watch physical reactions or patterns. Have you noticed when an egoic (mental and/or emotional) reaction arises, then it is usually reflected on a physical level in form of pressure, movement, sensations, twitching, tension etc. in brain, heart, body, tongue, hands, face muscles etc. If you are alert enough, you may notice sensations or movement in muscles or body parts as if trying to control or fight or suppress 'what is' (thoughts, emotions, condition, situation etc.) in form of fidgeting, muscle contraction, leg shaking, clenching hands etc. These are the reflections of egoic reactions on a physical level.[59] . The stronger the reaction, more tense the brain, face or body muscles become and may even cause physical pain.
    • Just as you watch the thoughts and emotions in you, detect and watch the physical reactions and patterns. As becoming aware of physical and/or emotional reactions also makes you more aware of Egoic reactions, especially pre-verbalized and unconscious ones, that cause them. For example: Body may respond to an anxiety pattern or reaction, even before it becomes a thought, in form of leg/legs shaking, fidgeting, anxious emotions in your chest and/or head, you grinding or clenching your teeth, scratching objects, biting your lip or finger nails or inside of your mouth, tension in face, brain, muscles, and so on.[60] This is so embedded that you may not be aware that you are engaged in these pain inflicting patterns and reactions, and may likely detect them later when they pass away. For example: You may notice your arms and legs being tired after fidgeting or shaking for a long time, experience pain after biting your mouth/lips/fingers or digging your nails in your palm or fingers or pressing your knees against a furniture, headache or soar body after muscles contraction or tension, stinging sensation after unconsciously rubbing toes and fingers or scratching body parts and so on. This can also be seen as a proof of how self-destructive Ego can be.
    • Even the slightest and subtle physical and/or mental and/or emotional reactions or patterns need to be detected or else they will continue to remain unconscious and run your life. Therefore a high degree of alertness is required. Here's a hint: see if you can detect physical reactions or patterns like tension in heart, tongue, cheeks, jaw and brain muscles (especially left side) in response to an undesirable thought, reaction, situation, condition or people, as if trying to control, fight or suppress them. That is to say resisting 'what-is'.
  7. Image titled Focus on Solutions to Ease Anxiety Step 3
    7
    Free yourself from all concepts. Did you notice your mental interpretation after reading 'Watch your inner-self', 'Accept what is' and other pointers in the article? Your mind may have asked something like, 'How can I watch my inner self?' or 'What does 'watching inner self' even mean?' And mental answers to these questions may become your definition of 'watching your inner-self,'. That is to say ego has found another concept or construct to identify with.[61] As mind has a compulsive need to conceptualize or label what it experiences, because that's all it knows. Other reason is because concepts (thoughts) and conditioned emotions are familiar and mind adheres to the known. As it thinks unknown is dangerous. This is one of the reasons why egoic mind ignores and dislikes the present moment.
    • Concepts and pointers can be part of your spiritual journey, but deeply realize that they are no more than stepping stones or viewpoints to be left as quickly as possible, and never to be taken as absolute truth.[62] Again, thought by its very nature is limited and can at most show you the relative truth. In your spiritual journey, concepts may get replaced with more helpful spiritual sounding concepts or explanations or pointers. However, they are still bundle of words (thoughts). Hence limited and will become great obstacles, if used as crutch.
    • True intelligence is holistic, formless and unconditioned. It's the stillness within you.
    • "Can you step back from your own mind and thus understand all things?" (Tao Te Ching).
  8. 8
    Meditate. It may seem like a cliché, but meditation essentially means to be present. In essence, there's no trying or doing involved, but keeping your full or part of your attention in the Now.
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References

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  2. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page7.
  3. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 28
  4. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 22
  5. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 41.
  6. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 80.
  7. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 18
  8. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 54.
  9. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 21
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  4. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A new Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page8
  5. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 9
  6. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 71,251.
  7. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 25.
  8. ↑ Singer, Michael A. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself New Harbinger Publications 2007. Page 16.
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  11. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "A New Earth."Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2005. Page227.
  12. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 79
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  15. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page 8,12,10.
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  19. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. "Stillness Speaks" Vancouver,BC:Penguin, 2003. Page 121
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  36. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth. Vancouver, BC: Penguin, 2005. Page56.
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  38. ↑ Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, BC: Namaste Publishing, 1999. Page 123
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  54. ↑ Tzu, Lao. "Tao Te Ching" Verse 70

About This Article

Ira Israel
Co-authored by:
Ira Israel
Licensed Counselor and Psychotherapist
This article was co-authored by Ira Israel. Ira Israel is a Licensed Counselor and Psychotherapist who has been in private practice for over 14 years. He specializes in teaching others about happiness and authenticity. Ira teaches sold-out Happiness and Authenticity workshops at Esalen Institute and Kripalu Center and has written over 400 articles on psychology, philosophy, Buddhism, yoga, film, art, music & literature for The Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Mind Body Green, Thrive Global, and Medium. Ira is also the author of How to Survive Your Childhood Now That You’re an Adult: A Path to Authenticity and Awakening. He attended The University of Pennsylvania and has graduate degrees in Psychology, Philosophy, and Religious Studies. This article has been viewed 240,756 times.
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Co-authors: 99
Updated: April 1, 2023
Views: 240,756
Categories: Humility | Self Discovery
Article SummaryX

Dissolving your ego means not identifying with your thoughts and feelings. According to Eckhart Tolle, you should instead recognize that ego is an illusion and understand that you're only patterns of energy in each moment. It’s easy to get lost in your thoughts and forget that you’re even thinking, but try to pay attention to them so you can understand the patterns. Meditate regularly to help you see your mind clearly. You should also avoid resisting negative emotions. Instead, accept every moment as it is. Wishing things to be different will only cause you suffering in the long term. For more tips, including how to stop identifying with pain, read on!

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