How to Deal With Abusive Phone Calls

Abusive phone calls can be frustrating and maybe even quite frightening. You may receive abusive phone calls for a variety of reasons; however, it’s most common to get abusive phone calls from someone you know. In order to deal with abusive phone calls, it’s important to document abusive phone calls, report them, and try to prevent them in the future. Dealing with abusive phone calls can be frustrating, but it’s important to do something about them. Otherwise, you may continue to receive abusive phone calls in the future.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Preventing Abusive Phone Calls

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    Block phone numbers from abusive callers. Most phone companies allow you to block a limited amount of numbers. These blocks may expire, however, so it’s important to keep the list updated if you receive abusive phone calls after the block has expired.[1]
    • Many phone companies allow you to block up to five numbers for free. These blocks usually expire after three months.
    • If you need to block more than five numbers, you may need to pay a monthly fee. This will also let you block the abusive numbers on a long-term basis.
    • In the event that you have received an obscene or harassing phone, you can trace this call by dialing *57 on the phone that received the call. The call will then be automatically traced.
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    Get call rejection from unknown numbers. You can also try to get call rejection, which will prevent unknown numbers from reaching your phone. For some phone companies, you may be able to supply a list of ten or more numbers that will be rejected from calling you.[2]
    • Anonymous call rejection will reject all numbers that conceal their number. Anyone calling from a number that blocks their number from appearing on your caller ID will not be able to reach you from that number.
    • If someone calls you who is on your rejection list, they will get a message stating you are not accepting phone calls. This will make sure that their number is unable to call you.[3]
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    Minimize the personal details you give out. If you are receiving abusive phone calls from people you don’t know, it may be because they found your number somewhere. It’s important to share your number as little as possible to avoid abusive phone calls from strangers.[4]
    • When making an online purchase, don’t include your phone number along with your personal information. It’s possible that your phone information could be leaked from the online purchaser and given to other parties.
    • You can also keep your phone number out of telephone directories if you have a land-line. By calling your phone company, they should be able to keep your number out of forthcoming telephone directories.
    • Avoid sharing any financial information with unsolicited callers. Financial institutions will not call you requesting such information—if they have called you, then they already have this information on file. Always be wary of sharing any identifying information that could provide a criminal access to your personal information.
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    Change your number if you feel particularly threatened. If the abusive phone calls don't stop, you may want to change your phone number. While this may be frustrating, it can be the best way to prevent abusive phone calls.
    • When you change your number, only give out your new number to close friends and family. If you don't know who is calling you, you want to be careful not to give your new number to the person calling you with abusive phone calls.
    • Additionally, give out your number to as few businesses as possible. Since your number can always be leaked to third parties, you want to limit the places your number winds up.
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    Ask your school about their technology policies. Your school should have technology policies regarding use. They may have some ideas on how to prevent abusive phone calls from happening at school.[5]
    • When you're at school, only share your phone number with your immediate friends. Make sure they don't share it around to others.
    • Your school should have a policies and procedures manual. See what it says about proper and safe technology use.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Documenting Abusive Phone Calls

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    Write down any abusive phone calls. It's important to keep a detailed record of abusive phone calls, especially if they are threatening. You'll need these records later in case you want to report them to the phone company or the police.[6]
    • You'll want to record the time, date, duration, and details of any abusive phone calls. You can keep these in a written log or an electronic file that you can access easily.
    • Your record of abusive phone calls will be useful when getting phone numbers blocked by the phone company. Additionally, if the phone calls are threatening, these details will be valuable to police.
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    Save any abusive text messages. If you have a mobile phone, you may also get abusive text messages. While your phone company will likely document these, save them on your phone as well.[7]
    • Never respond to any abusive text messages. The person sending the messages wants a response, so don't give it to them.
    • Abusive text messages are often recorded by your phone company and are easy to track on your phone records. However, save all the abusive messages in your phone as well.
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    Don't respond to the phone calls. When you are receiving abusive phone calls, it's because the person calling wants a response from you. It's important to keep quiet and not respond to them when you receive abusive phone calls.
    • If you are documenting the abusive phone call, write down any important information or things that are said. You can use this for later when reporting abusive phone calls.
    • You do not have to listen to endless abuse from the phone call. It may be a good idea to hang up if you are feeling frightened or particularly scared by the abuse.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Reporting Abusive Phone Calls

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    Report any abusive phone calls. Your phone company should have a department that deals with abusive phone calls. They can give you some options on how to stop abusive phone calls.[8]
    • As soon as you receive any abusive phone calls, call your phone company immediately. You should be able to tell them exactly what was said and any other information you have from the phone call.
    • If your phone company doesn’t have a department for abusive phone calls, they should have a customer complaint line. This line should have some representatives that can help you prevent abusive phone calls in the future.
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    Inform the authorities. If the calls are persistently abusive, or if your service provider recommends it, notify the authorities. Abusive and malicious calls are a criminal offense and will be treated as such.[9]
    • If you call your phone company first, they may recommend speaking to the police depending on the abuse. While not all abusive phone calls can be reported to the police, your phone company should have a good idea whether or not you should report the abusive phone call.
    • Depending on the abuse, you may be able to file charges against the person calling. At the very least, it's always a good idea for the police to have a record of abusive phone calls. Always assume that any threat received has merit. While this may be the style of someone’s personal communication; you should always consider each and every action, threat and abusive language as volatile.
    • Report all threats to law enforcement. Do not avoid reporting abusive or threatening phone calls. If your life is at stake, or the life of another, you should consider this as an urgent matter.
    • If possible, try recording the phone call and provide it to the authorities when they arrive on the scene. Try keeping the caller on the line until law enforcement arrives. Be certain to record the precise wording of any threats uttered.
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    Never ignore abusive phone calls. If you do nothing about these types of calls, you will continue to receive them. Even if you are only documenting the phone calls, it's important to do something rather than nothing.
    • Abusive phone calls are not usually stopped by ignoring them. Even if people calling may only want a response, they likely will not quit if you simply ignore them.
    • Even if you're not ignoring the abusive phone calls, that does not mean you have to engage with the calls. You can simply write down the calls and report them to the appropriate authorities.
    • When calls are received from a known perpetrator, time may be of the essence. A known caller has an advantage, since they have some sort of connection to you. Having a connection may not ensure that they have your home address, but if this is the case, create yourself a plan of action until the authorities arrive upon the scene.
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    Talk to teachers and principals. If you're receiving abusive phone calls or text messages, it's important to tell someone. Receiving abusive calls or texts is a big problem that you should not keep to yourself.
    • Your teachers and principals need to know if any abusive texts are happening at school. They want everyone to feel safe and comfortable at school.
    • Abusive text messages can be a big problem for teens. Since the people sending the messages don't see the person they're abusing, they can often be even more vicious and mean.[10]
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    Tell your parents if you're still a minor. Your parents need to know if you are getting abusive phone calls or text messages. They will be able to talk to the phone company or your school to stop this behavior.
    • You should never blame yourself for abusive texts or phone calls. It's never your fault and is always wrong.
    • Abusive calls or texts can lead to depression and anxiety for teens. Don't let this behavior continue; tell your parents so they can do something about it.
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Community Q&A

  • Question
    Someone called me up claiming that they had got my number from a third person. They commented on my character and said inappropriate stuff. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Don't respond. Block their number on your phone. If you don't know how to do that, simply google "Block a phone number on [your phone model]." If they find some other way to contact you, contact the police. You can file a restraining order and/or charges for harassment.
  • Question
    I had abusive and threatening phone calls in the past and someone claiming they are watching me. This was reported to the police and to my phone provider. This wasn't taken seriously enough, what do I do?
    GeniusStickFigure
    GeniusStickFigure
    Community Answer
    Request to speak with an officer in person, or an investigator if they will not send one to you. Also, keep trying to contact your phone provider and request to speak to people who are specialized in scam callers. Keep in mind, this may be a manager or a special department, depending on your provider.
  • Question
    My mom got a threatening phone call and hung up, then seconds later another threatening call came to my dad’s phone. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Get the caller's number by dialling your country's last-call return number on your mom or dad's phone (such as *69 in the USA and Canada, or 1471 in the UK). Write down the caller's number along with the time the calls occurred and what was said in these calls, then forward the information to the police. In the meantime you can block the caller's number to prevent any further threatening calls from coming through.
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Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you'd like to learn more about abusive phone calls, check out our in-depth interview with Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS.

References

  1. ↑ http://www.verizonwireless.com/support/block-numbers/
  2. ↑ http://www.centurylink.com/help/?assetid=289
  3. ↑ https://www.att.com/esupport/article.html#!/local-long-distance/KM1010649
  4. ↑ https://thecrimepreventionwebsite.com/personal-security/723/nuisance-telephone-calls/
  5. ↑ http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/prevention/
  6. ↑ http://www.breakthecycle.org/blog/5-important-ways-document-abuse
  7. ↑ http://bullyonline.org/old/related/mobile.htm
  8. ↑ http://consumers.ofcom.org.uk/phone/tackling-nuisance-calls-and-messages/abusive-and-threatening-calls/
  9. ↑ https://www.privacyrights.org/content/how-put-end-unwanted-or-harassing-phone-calls
  1. ↑ http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/text-bullying.html

About This Article

Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Co-authored by:
Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards. This article has been viewed 138,253 times.
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Co-authors: 24
Updated: January 14, 2023
Views: 138,253
Categories: Handling Difficult Phone Calls
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