How to Enjoy Being a Single Mom

Co-authored by Cristina Morara and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: February 25, 2022 References

Being a single mom might have its struggles, but it also has some amazing upsides. With a little shift in perspective, you can turn your days around and enjoy raising your kids on your own. Read through this article for a complete list of tips to enjoy being a single mom and celebrate each day.

1

Get to know yourself more.

When you’re single, you can focus on learning about yourself. Use that time to understand who you are, what you want, and what your goals are.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Expert Interview. 19 January 2021.} Ask yourself things like, “What do I like to do?” “What’s my favorite way to relax?” “Where do I see myself in 5 years?” and, “What do I value most in my future partner?”
- Have compassion for yourself, too. Take into account all the struggles you’ve gone through, and pat yourself on the back for making it this far.

2

Practice self-care.

Set aside 10 minutes to do something nice for yourself every day. It doesn’t have to be anything big—you might drink a cup of coffee or read a few pages of your favorite book. It might not sound like much, but these small acts of kindness toward yourself can really add up and make you feel better over time.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
Child Mind Institute
Nonprofit organization providing evidence-based care for children with mental health and learning disorders and their families
Go to source}
- You could also try meditating, doing yoga, taking a nature walk, or playing with a pet.

3

Make time to do what you love.

Figure out what you like to do for fun on your own. Do your best to make time for the things you love—hire a babysitter a couple times a month, or take your kids with you on a fun adventure. That way, you won’t lose yourself to motherhood, and you can still do the fun stuff that you like to do.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
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- Not sure what you like to do? That’s okay! Try a few things out to see what sticks. You could try hiking, embroidering, collaging, ceramics, playing board games, or fishing.

4

Get out of the house often.

Make time to get dinner, grab a drink, or go shopping. When you’re a single mom, it can feel like you’re stuck in the house a lot. Give yourself some “me time” by hiring a babysitter or asking a friend to watch your kids. Take yourself out on a date to enjoy your freedom and feel good about your alone time.^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- No babysitter? No problem! Take your kids with you on a fun outing to the park or your local coffee shop. Even though you won’t be by yourself, getting out of the house is always a good idea.

5

Hang out with your friends.

Your friends can lift you up and be a great distraction. Keep room in your schedule to have a friend over or meet up with someone for drinks. That way, you can maintain those relationships and be social with people your own age.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
Go to source}
- Don’t be afraid to reach out to old friends! They’ll probably be happy to hear from you, even if you’ve been too busy to hang out for a while.

6

Have fun with your kids.

Spend as much time with your kids as you can to get to know them more. As you watch your children grow up, you’ll see them flourish and develop their own personalities. Try to spend time with them doing fun things and just hanging out to really strengthen your connection.^{[6]
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- Come up with a few activities that you do together, just the two of you. You might read your favorite books, walk to the park, go out to eat, or cook together at home.

7

Show love to your children to strengthen your bond.

Make it a point to be affectionate. When you’re a single parent, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut with your kids. Take time out of your day to tell them “I love you” or give them a quick hug, just as a reminder (to them and to yourself).^{[7]
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- If you feel yourself getting stressed or upset at your kids, a hug can quickly defuse the situation.

8

Surround yourself with your loved ones.

Hold on tight to friends and family who will support you. Your loved ones can really help you enjoy your single mom life, and they can provide you with help when you need it. Connect with the people who will love you no matter what, and who will help make your journey as a single mom a little bit easier.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 14 October 2020.}
- Don’t be afraid to ask for support, either. Reach out to your loved ones if you’re struggling and ask for help with childcare or money if you need to.^{[9]
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9

Make parenting decisions on your own.

When you’re a single mom, you don’t have to collaborate with anyone else. If your ex-partner is still in the picture, you may want to check in every now and then about co-parenting issues. However, when you’re with your kids, you’re in charge—whatever you say goes.^{[10]
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- If you’re sharing custody with your child’s other parent, try not to worry too much about what they’re doing. Focus on the things you can control while you’re with your child.

10

Remember your strengths.

When the going gets tough, think about how far you’ve come. You’re not going to be a perfect mom 100% of the time, and that’s okay. If you wake up late one morning or accidentally skip your kid’s soccer practice, it’s not the end of the world. Think about all the awesome stuff you do on the daily to pick yourself back up and keep going.^{[11]
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- For instance, maybe you're great during play time and always come up with new ideas to entertain your kids with.
- Or, maybe you’re really great at meal planning, and you always make sure your kids have delicious, healthy meals to eat.

11

Have fun dating again.

Single mothers can still make time to find love! If you’re ready for it, consider putting yourself out there to find potential dates. You can embrace the single life by saying yes to invitations and opening yourself up to new opportunities.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 14 October 2020.}
- Keep your kids in mind when looking for potential partners. However, keep in mind that whoever you date will eventually have to be a big part of your kid’s life—if they aren’t a good role model, then they might not be the partner for you.^{[13]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC
  Licensed Professional Counselor
  Expert Interview. 27 October 2021.}