This article was co-authored by Tracy Carver, PhD. Dr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
There are 11 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Drinking alcohol is a common and popular practice at parties: it can ease people’s social inhibitions, contribute to a festive atmosphere, and add to a decorative theme. While drinking at a party has its pros, though, there’s no reason attending alcohol-free has to be a bust. Whether you're driving home afterward, under the legal drinking age, or simply don’t like alcohol, you can make your booze-less celebration as fun as ever by taking some simple steps, such as focusing on party games and activities, helping others, and taking advantage of other treats on offer.
Steps
Finding Alternative Entertainments
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1Get in a fun, cheerful mood. Often times the fun you have at an event or party depends on the way you prepare mentally for it. If you dread what’s coming and fret anxiously about not drinking at the party, chances are that you won’t have much fun. In the same way, you can increase the odds of having a good experience by getting yourself in a good headspace and elevating your energy level before leaving the house.
- Take a moment and visualize the party going well, with you having a good time, eating, dancing, mingling, etc. This will help get you excited for the event.
- If you have networking or professional goals for the party, review your intentions while you're getting ready or driving over. This mini-prep session can set the tone of your interactions at the party before you even get to the party.[1]
- For example, invite some friends over to chat and listen to music together before you all leave. Or, if none of your friends can make it, put on your favorite record while you get dressed.
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2Wear something comfortable. Many people drink alcohol at parties because they feel they need it to make them more comfortable and less socially awkward. You can do a lot of this legwork without alcohol, though, by making yourself as comfortable as possible before entering the social arena. This doesn’t mean you have to look like a boring person if you’re not drinking, though. Just be sure to wear something you love and feel comfortable in, be it a sequined dress or your dad’s old flannel shirt.
- Decide what you will wear ahead of time and try it on to make sure you're comfortable with it. This can help avoid last minute panicking!
- Depending on the nature of the party you’re attending, you might not have total sartorial freedom. If the invitation indicates a dress code, make sure you adhere to it. If you’re unsure as to the expected ensemble, call your host ahead of time to be sure you show up in appropriate attire.[2]
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3Play party games. One of the best ways to be social without relying on alcohol as an interactive lubricant is to play games. The common activity will unite diverse and often unacquainted partygoers while focusing the conversation and encouraging enthusiasm. Use this opportunity to get to know the new people you are meeting and bond with them! Some games are more popular than others—for example, saucy games Cards Against Humanity and Say Anything are touted as some of the most reliably party-revving games available—but you can choose from a variety of games and platforms, including classic board games, video games, card games, and improvised games such as charades.[3]
- If you’re not sure your host will provide games for the guests, bring your own! You might want to ask your host as you enter if they mind your contribution, but chances are that they will be more than happy to have your party-pumping activity added to the mix.
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4Volunteer for DJ duty. Dancing isn’t contingent on alcohol consumption, but many people feel uncomfortable doing it without some kind of boozy encouragement. If you’re one of these people, you can get involved in the music and dancing without putting yourself out on the dance floor by playing the DJ for an hour or two. Take requests from your friends and other partygoers while adding your own musical know-how to the mix in order to create a fun and energizing party playlist.
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5Sing! If you own a karaoke machine or know someone who has one, ask the host if you can bring it along! Many cultures rely on karaoke to liven up parties, create new social bonds, and strengthen existing ones. Some studies have posited that the reason for this popularity is that communal singing creates a powerfully positive experience like a drug- or activity-induced high.[4] Whatever the cause, keep in mind that karaoke is a jolly, alcohol-independent way of brightening the mood and encouraging conviviality.
- Karaoke can be a loud and boisterous activity, so be aware of local noise ordinances. Keep an eye on the clock and turn off the tunes at a reasonable hour in order to avoid unwanted visits from the police or irritated neighbors.
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6Hit the dance floor. If you’re not shy about busting a move without an alcoholic beverage, take full advantage of the dance floor! You’ll have more fun, time will go by faster, and you can work off some of the calories you’ve consumed from sweet and salty treats at the party.[5] Perhaps more than anything, though, you’ll earn the gratitude of the host by leading by example and encouraging others to get moving.
- Not in the mood to dance? No problem! You can still participate in the festivities by watching your friends get down, singing along to your favorite songs, and even just bobbing your head to the music.
- Most importantly, just keep a smile on your face. This simple gesture shows you’re a good sport and that you’re enthusiastic about the party, even without an alcoholic wing-man assisting you.
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7Listen. Many people think that meeting strangers at a party when you’re not drinking is more difficult, but this isn’t necessarily the case. After all, one benefit of alcohol is that it eases people’s social hang-ups and makes them more talkative. So, while over-indulgence can lead to some obnoxious moments, people who are just a bit tipsy are often fun, outgoing conversationalists.
- This can be a blessing if you're feeling awkward and tongue-tied in your sobriety. Since your new acquaintance will feel loosened-up from their drink, they'll probably feel more comfortable leading the conversation. You can encourage this impulse by asking leading and follow-up questions such as, "I never knew you could take classes in that! How would one get started if they were interested? How did you get started?"
- If you don't enjoy being around inebriated people when you're sober, this might not be the best environment for you.[6]
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8Help your host. Depending on the tone and crowd of the party you’re attending, you might find that your host or hostess quickly becomes overwhelmed, whether it be from too many drunk revelers, snack bar cleanup, or game oversight. Helping out your struggling host will provide you an excellent, productive way to stay busy and involved without drinking alcohol. Just remember to offer your help explicitly and sincerely, as many hosts might feel like they need to refuse help automatically as a matter of decorum.[7]
- Some specific things you could ask to help out with include coat check, cleanup, drink duty, noise monitoring, and designated driving.
Consuming Non-Alcoholic Beverages and Food
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1Ask your host for some non-alcoholic options. When you get to the party and the host offers you a drink, ask for something non-alcoholic.[8] It’s proper etiquette for hosts to stock booze-free beverages as well as alcoholic ones, so chances are that you can choose from a variety of drinks such as soda, juice, ice water, and tea.[9]
- Even if you’re not particularly thirsty at the moment, having a drink in your hand can give you something to sip on during awkward silences and prevent unwanted interrogation from curious partygoers regarding your alcohol abstinence.
- If you’re worried there won’t be any non-alcoholic beverages on offer, bring your own! Buy your favorite soda or juice in a large enough volume that you can share it with the party.
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2Opt for caffeinated beverages. While alcohol is not necessary to have fun in social scenarios, it can help to keep you energized and enthusiastic during late-night gatherings. You don’t want to rely on caffeine to keep you engaged, but a moderate amount is nothing to worry about. Aim to limit your daily intake to 400 milligrams per day, equivalent to about four cups of coffee or two energy drinks.[10]
- While most bars and restaurants keep coffee available for tee-totalling customers, don’t expect your host to make you a fresh pot of coffee. Instead, bring a cold, bottled coffee drink or caffeinated soda such as Red Bull or Rockstar so that you’re not inconveniencing your host with any special requests.
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3Raid the snack bar. Just because you’re not drinking, doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to some of the yummy party snacks on offer! In fact, many people only drink alcohol at parties in order to keep their mouths occupied and look like they’re doing something when they’re not talking, so eating something tasty can serve you just as well as drinking![11]
- While sweet treats can be some of the most tempting and delicious indulgences available at parties, keep in mind that over-indulging in candied treats can lead to a sugar crash. Try to balance out your sinful samplings with some healthier, high-protein options such as fresh veggies or trail mix.[12]
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4Make a special, virgin cocktail. Just because you’re not imbibing, doesn’t mean you can’t participate in the elaborate punches and mixes popular at many parties. Most classic cocktails can be done just as well—and arguably more deliciously!—sans alcohol, so check out some recipes and try your hand at some mixology! You can even occupy yourself at the party by playing bartender and mixing up your booze-less potions for other partygoers.
- Virgin Bloody Marys, daiquiris, and mimosas—made with seltzer water or a light sparkling soda instead of champagne—are good for brunch parties and barbeques, while virgin margaritas, mojitos, mulled ciders, and punches are great options for evening soirees.[13]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat can I do at a party instead of drinking?Tracy Carver, PhDDr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
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QuestionHow do I have fun if I'm the only one sober?Tracy Carver, PhDDr. Tracy Carver is an award-winning Licensed Psychologist based in Austin, Texas. Dr. Carver specializes in counseling for issues related to self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and psychedelic integration. She holds a BS in Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University, an MA in Educational Psychology, and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin. Dr. Carver also completed an internship in Clinical Psychology through Harvard University Medical School. She was voted one of the Best Mental Health Professionals in Austin for four years in a row by Austin Fit Magazine. Dr. Carver has been featured in Austin Monthly, Austin Woman Magazine, Life in Travis Heights, and KVUE (the Austin affiliate for ABC News).
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References
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/yec/2011/11/02/5-ways-to-make-a-killer-first-impression/#7fffd0b910ce
- ↑ https://www.artinstitutes.edu/about/blog/defining-dress-codes-what-to-wear-for-every-occasion
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/klara-granger/if-you-like-cards-against_b_8895458.html
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/science_of_singing
- ↑ https://hobbylark.com/performing-arts/importanceofdance
- ↑ Tracy Carver, PhD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 7 January 2021.
- ↑ http://www.townandcountrymag.com/the-scene/parties/a1817/how-to-be-the-best-hostess/
- ↑ Tracy Carver, PhD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 7 January 2021.
- ↑ http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/hints/holiday.html
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/caffeine/art-20045678
- ↑ Tracy Carver, PhD. Licensed Psychologist. Expert Interview. 7 January 2021.
- ↑ http://www.shape.com/healthy-eating/healthy-drinks/how-not-get-trashed-your-office-holiday-party
- ↑ http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/top-10-non-alcoholic-drinks