How to Meet a Girl at a Party

Co-authored by Kate Dreyfus

Last Updated: March 4, 2023

If you're looking to meet women, parties are a great place to start! The exciting atmosphere can give you tons of opportunities to chat, dance, and laugh your way into a lucky lady's heart—but how can you put your best foot forward? We're covering all the best tips below. Even if you find gatherings a little intimidating, by the end of this article, you'll have all the tools you need to meet a great gal at your next big party. Let's get started!

Steps

1
Prep yourself. First things first: wear your favorite clothes. If you just bought a new shirt put it on. Just wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, confident, and make sure that in your head you know you look good in them. Prepping also involves smelling good, so take a shower, shave, and put on your favorite cologne. While getting showered and dressed, play your favorite music so you will be energized and in the party mood. This will help you clear your head of stresses and get you pumped to go out and meet women.
2
Put your best foot forward. Show up with a group of friends and/or have your friends greet you at the door. Make sure you're excited to see everyone you know at the party and they will be excited to see you too. A lot of the time, girls notice a guy’s presence when he walks into a room and people jump up to greet him. This can show that you're a nice, likable guy, and that's attractive to just about everyone!

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3
Get in the zone. Scope out the party and feel the vibe. Run around to different groups of friends and strangers and start conversations. You will look fun and sociable. Girls will notice this and they will be more relaxed around you if people seem to like you. If you're lucky, someone from one of the groups you interact with will introduce you to that cute girl you've been checking out.
4
Talk to her! Try to reign in those nerves before you go speak to her. If you feel comfortable, avoid just standing around looking at the girl you want to talk to every few seconds. You're great, and she'll probably see that. So what are you nervous for anyway? Find any excuse to talk to her (use your environment, talk about someone you both might know, notice something about her).
5
Flirt hard! Flirting can involve any type of playful teasing. Challenge her to a drinking game or invite her to be your partner. This will open up tons of doors for flirting (tease her if she misses in beer pong, blame her for losing a game in a playful way etc.). Continue having fun with her as much as possible and do not stop building the attraction. If she laughs and playfully punches you while you flirt this is a GOOD thing! Avoid any normal “interview” conversations such as “where do you live?” and “what do you do?” Keep the conversation fun and entertaining. Tell her a cool story, tease her a little, make fun of some of the drunk people at the party etc.
- Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and accepted for who they are.^{[1]
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- Show the girl that you are genuinely interested in what she loves, try to understand why she loves it, and make an effort to learn more about it.^{[2]
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- It will make her feel that you care about her.^{[3]
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6
Dance with her. If you two haven’t been lightly touching each other during your flirty conversations this is a good way to get physical. Dancing can be a great way to show that you're fun-loving, carefree, and relaxed. So go have a ball! You don’t need to be a pro, but if she likes how you dance, she'll probably be even more attracted to you. If you two are really digging each other at this point and you feel it, it might be a good time to make a move.
7
Give her space. This means that you shouldn't stick around her all night. Let her have fun with her friends, and show her that you’re having fun with your friends as well. Ultimately, your goal should be for both of you to have a great time, and this'll help make this happen. And on top of that, spending some time away might give you an air of mystery (Where did that cool guy go? I wonder what he's up to...).
8
Make your move. After giving her a little space, let her come back to you (and if she doesn’t, just make eye contact, smile, and start the conversation back up). If she’s giving you the eye and has all her attention on you, wait for the right moment in the conversation such as a pause after something funny or flirty while looking at each other and, if you feel comfortable, ask her for a kiss. Or, if you think it makes more sense, consider asking for her phone number instead. Remember that her comfort levels should be your top priority, too. Make sure to ask before you make a move!
9
Have a game plan. Parties can be unpredictable, and if you've made a connection with a girl you like, you'll want to have all of your bases covered. If you two are looking to hang after the gathering, have a spot in mind. Or, if you're more interested in getting together down the line, why not set a date? That way, you'll know for sure when you'll get to see your new crush next!

Community Q&A

Question

How do I do an attractive walk?

Community Answer

Just walk normally. Don't overthink it. If you try too hard, you'll likely just make yourself look silly.
Question

How do I win over a girl that is a target for my best friends too?

Dahlia Gillespie

Community Answer

Some girls go for the one who does not look interested. If everyone else is hitting on her, you can change your strategy and make yourself appear as independent, more mysterious and disinterested. Just hang around at the party, have fun, and see if it works. If that doesn't work, just walk by her and say something like, "Hey, do you know where the drinks are?" or, "Having a good time?" Anything that might start a conversation will work.
Question

I feel like I'm really awkward, and I'm really not confident with my looks/social skills/anything really. How do I flirt at a party? And if I get the vibe that she wants to hook up, how do I act?

Community Answer

Start by being yourself, I know it sounds cheesy, but often people you want to meet are just as nervous as you are. Initiate a conversation. Bring a friend over if it makes you feel better. Compliment her and just be genuine. If you think she wants to hook up (and you do too) just ask her if she wants to go somewhere a little more private.