How to Be the Most Irresistible Woman at a Party

Co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld

Last Updated: September 9, 2022 References

When you go to a party, you want to up your style, charm, grace, and conversational skills. These elements will make you seem like the most irresistible woman there, the one that everyone wants to meet and talk to before the end of the night. Being irresistible isn't just a natural talent that people possess, though. You can learn skills that help you have the magnetic charm of an irresistible person.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Looking and Feeling Irresistible

1
Spend more time than usual getting ready. Take the extra time to focus on yourself and put the effort into your appearance. Put on your makeup slowly and thoroughly; don't skimp on curling on your eyelashes or making sure that you love your lip color. Focus on ensuring that you like everything about your appearance and that you go the extra mile in terms of feeling beautiful and confident.
2
Wear something that makes you feel confident. Wear one of your favorite outfits that you've worn before. When you know you look good, you feel and look more confident. Confidence is key to irresistibility because people are naturally attracted to confident people.
- Many people feel confident in clothes that are sexy, and many people find women in sexy clothes irresistible. If you are comfortable, wear something that is sexy but still maintains an air of mystery. A good rule of thumb is to have one sexy element in your outfit, but then to keep everything else subtle.
- For example, you could wear a loose, low-cut top with a pair of skinny jeans.
- You could also wear a dress that is short but not low-cut.
- You could also try wearing classically irresistible colors, such as red and black. These colors are bold, and people's eyes will be drawn to you.
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3
Don't carry a purse or bag. Try to put everything you own in your pockets, if you have them. If you need to carry a bag, ask the host of the party if you can leave it somewhere safe in their house. Carrying a bag will tempt you to play with the distractions in it, like your cell phone, instead of engaging with people at the party. It also gives people the impression that you're about to leave.
4
Stand up straight. Good posture makes you look and feel more confident. Pull back your shoulders and try to imagine yourself standing as tall as you possibly can. Remind yourself to stand up straight throughout the course of the party.^{[1]
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- You also want to make sure you look comfortable, relaxed, and approachable. Knowing what to do with your hands and being aware of fidgeting (especially if you don't have your phone or purse on you) will help you seem more at ease.^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.} Keep your hands occupied with a drink, a small plate of food, or set your hand on your hip. If you're having a conversation, you can use your hands to gesture, to gently touch the person you are talking to on the arm. Try not to play with your hair or jewelry too much, as you may appear nervous.
5
Give yourself a compliment before you leave the house. Think three great things about yourself. Maybe your hair looks great, you're easy to talk to, and you just got a promotion at work. Or maybe you did a great job with your winged eyeliner, your friend just chose you as a bridesmaid, and you finally finished a chapter of your novel. Whatever it is, use it to pump yourself up before you go out!

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Socializing Well at a Party

1
Talk to everyone at the party. Don't just talk to your friends or the people you know at the party. Introduce yourself to new people, and make yourself open to strangers and new conversations. Try to find something in common with each person you meet.^{[3]
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- When you're chatting people up, remember to try and make them feel comfortable. People are drawn to others who make them feel at ease by showing a nonjudgmental air and overall acceptance. If someone tells a joke that falls flat, acknowledge it with a little chuckle.
2
Give compliments. People love to hear good things about themselves. It could also start an interesting conversation if you ask a question that stems from the compliment.^{[4]
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- For example, you could ask, “I really like your headband. Where did you get it?”
- You could also try, “The host's dog loves you! Do you have one at home?”
3
Use the Platinum Rule. You might be familiar with the Golden Rule, which is to treat others the way you want to be treated. The Platinum Rule, however, is to treat others the way that they want to be treated. In other words, be receptive to people when you have conversations with them.^{[5]
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- For example, if the person can't hear what you're saying, ask her if she wants to go stand outside for a few minutes, where it's quieter.
- Or, if you are talking to someone who can't stop talking about her daughters, keep asking questions about her daughters. Don't feel like you need to shift the conversation to a different topic every few minutes.
- Or, if you are talking to someone who seems shy and reticent to talk about herself, talk about yourself more. Connecting with someone on an interpersonal level has a different path depending on the particular person involved.
4
Have a list of questions to ask if the conversation lags. Sometimes you don't connect with a particular person, and that's okay. But if you want to keep the conversation going with someone, it can be helpful to have a list of backup questions for when the awkward silence happens. Here are some sample questions:^{[6]
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- How do you know the host?
- What do you think of the food?
- Have you tried any of the drinks here?
- What do you do for a living?
- What did you do last weekend?
- What's your favorite thing to do on a totally free Saturday?
- Where did you grow up?
5
Ask people about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and will like you if you ask them about their hobbies, interests, careers, and family. Let the conversation flow naturally. If the person wants to talk about his cats for ten minutes but then talk about you, let it happen. Avoid topics you really don't want to discuss, but be open to having new conversations.
6
Make eye contact. Eye contact lets people know that you're focused only on them, not on the party surrounding them. Make eye contact for as long as you can with the person (without it seeming weird).^{[7]
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Research source} If you are having trouble making eye contact, focus on the space between the person's eyes.
7
Speak slowly and smile. To convey the impression that you're relaxed and comfortable, speak slowly and smile at the people you're talking to. Smiling makes you appear friendly and open.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.} Speaking slowly lets the person know that you're not nervous about speaking to her. Both traits are important when you're trying to socialize well and make new friends!^{[9]
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8
Flirt. If you are interested in anyone at the party, make efforts to flirt with them. There are many different ways to flirt with people, so you should only do what you're comfortable with. Here are some suggestions for ways to flirt:
- Touch the other person. You don't have to do this extensively, but a light touch on the arm or shoulder can convey flirtiness to the other person. Use a compliment as an excuse: “I love this shirt; this blue really brings out your eyes.”
- Initiate the conversation with the other person. Being assertive and starting the conversation will signal to the other person that you sought them out and are interested in them. Say, “I don't think we've met before, but I think we should.”
- Tease the person a little bit. Light teasing can be flirty, but be careful of hurting the other person's feelings. What's light for one person can be hurtful to another. Try something along the lines of, “I hope you're better at dancing than you are at beer pong!”
- Leave the conversation early so that the person wants to see more of you. Maybe they will seek you out later in the night! Say something like, “I'm going to go get another drink, but you should find me later.”^{[10]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How can I be slightly flirty at a party?

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.

Mark Rosenfeld

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Try making eye contact and flashing a smile. This is a great way to flirt if you're not directly talking to them.
Question

How do you start a flirty conversation with a guy?

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.

Mark Rosenfeld

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

If you happen to pass them, comment on something simple, like what they're wearing, what's going on around you, or what time it is. Then, make lingering eye contact and smile after they give you an answer. Generally, just keep it very simple.
Question

How do you flirt at a bar?

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release.

Mark Rosenfeld

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Try commenting on something in the décor and having a laugh about it with the other person. Then, make and hold eye contact with them.

Warnings

It's hard to be irresistible to every person at the party. Know that you can't please everyone all the time!

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Don't drink too much alcohol if it is available at the party. You want to remain cognizant of your surroundings. Alcohol lowers inhibitions, so it can make people do things they might regret in the morning.

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Don't try drugs or do any at the party.

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