How to Flirt Physically

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: April 18, 2020 References Approved

If you like someone, but you do not want to come right out and tell them, sometimes you can send a message with just your body language. Smiling at the other person, playing with your hair, and maintaining eye contact are great ways to flirt without physically touching them. If you do want to show your affection through a touch, try sitting close to them and giving a light touch on the arm or hand to start.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Sharing Physical Contact

1
Graze the other person accidentally to spark interest. Planned touches can come off as accidents if you play them off correctly, and they're a great way to flirt if you're feeling nervous. Try lightly grazing the other person’s arm when reaching to grab something, or putting your foot near theirs under the table.^{[1]
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- You can also graze knees while sitting at a table or next to each other.
- Walking side by side is an easy way to graze each other's arms or hands.
2
Touch the person on the arm to show them you're interested. When you’re talking with someone, touching their elbow, shoulder, or arm is a simple way to start physical contact. It only needs to last 1 or 2 seconds. Touch lightly so you’re not putting too much pressure on the other person.^{[2]
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- For instance, you might come up to someone and touch their shoulder while saying hello.
- If you’re sitting across from someone, touching their hand while you're laughing or talking works well too.
- Make sure you’re close enough to the person so that you’re not awkwardly reaching.
EXPERT TIP

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

Make sure they're OK with being touched. If they move their arm or leg away when you touch them, remove your hand, and ask their consent. If they're interested in you touching them, you can always escalate it from there.
3
Take their hand when you’re walking somewhere. There are lots of opportunities to lead the other person by taking their hand, such as if you’re leaving a restaurant, showing them something at a museum or art gallery, or just want them to follow you. Take their hand gently so that you're not pulling them too harshly.^{[3]
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- For example, if you wanted to introduce them to another person, you might take their hand and say, “Come with me please, I want you to meet Rob.”
- Taking someone’s hand shows a more intimate sign of affection.
- Instead of the hand, you can also guide the other person using their elbow or the small of their back.
4
Sit close to each other. Sitting close to someone so that your legs or arms touch can give off flirtatious vibes. Sit next to them so that your shoulders, elbows, or thighs touch theirs, either just slightly or very closely.^{[4]
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- This works well if you’re sitting on a couch, in a booth at a restaurant, or on a bench in a park or other space.
- It’s best to start out small and sit so that your body is just barely touching theirs.
5
Cuddle up against them when sitting next to one another. This is a more intimate form of flirting, and it works best if you know the person relatively well. Snuggle up against them while on a couch or bench, resting your head on their shoulder if you'd like.^{[5]
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- Cuddle while watching TV, listening to music, or having a conversation where you’re sitting comfortably.
6
Kiss them on the cheek to take flirting to the next level. Keep your kiss casual by doing a quick peck as a greeting, or by giving them a kiss on the cheek to say goodnight. This is a good way of flirting with someone who you've already established some sort of relationship with.^{[6]
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- If you're close with them, you might kiss them on the nose or forehead as well.
7
Hug the other person to make them feel welcome and comfortable. As long as the other person is okay with being hugged, this is a great way to show your affection while being respectful and warm. Give them a hug when you first see them, and again while saying goodbye.^{[7]
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- You might hug someone when congratulating them or sharing good news.
- Make your hug last just a few seconds, working up to longer hugs after you've known each other for awhile.
EXPERT TIP

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

Hug them instead of shaking their hand. Meeting someone for a date isn't a business meeting. Instead of a handshake, go in for a hug to start the date off the right way.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Flirting without Physical Contact

1
Maintain eye contact to establish a strong connection. Hold the other person’s gaze for a few seconds before looking away, smiling while doing so. The eyes tell a lot about how another person feels, so if you’re gazing at the other person affectionately, they’re likely to notice you’re flirting.^{[8]
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- If someone you’re trying to flirt with looks at you, hold their eye contact for roughly 3 seconds before smiling and looking away.
- Maintain eye contact while you’re in a conversation with the other person to show that you’re interested.
EXPERT TIP

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

Our Expert Agrees: Maintain strong eye contact with your date. If you're turning away or keeping your eyes down, your date isn't going to feel like you're in the moment with them. Keep eye contact with them to show them you're engaged and interested.
2
Smile and laugh around the person to show that you like them. This is a simple way to show someone how you feel while also making you look more attractive. Smile and laugh during appropriate times, like if the other person makes a funny comment. Smiling is a good way to encourage the other person to keep talking, showing that you’re interested in what they have to say.^{[9]
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- Smile at the other person if they're talking to you, or even give them a small smile from across the room to get their attention.
3
Touch your mouth to bring attention to your lips. This should be done subtly. You might rest your fingers near your lips while sitting across from someone at dinner, or use a couple fingers to touch your mouth for just a second while someone else is talking.^{[10]
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- Try to only touch your mouth when the other person is talking to show that you’re listening intently. Touching your mouth while you’re talking will cover up your mouth, making it harder for the other person to hear what you’re saying.
- Rest your head lightly on your hand while sitting so you can easily place your fingers near your mouth.
- Touching your own neck lightly while talking can give off flirtatious vibes too.
4
Play with your hair for an easy way to flirt. You can do things like twirling your hair or tossing it from your shoulders if it’s long, or run your hands through your hair if it’s shorter. Drawing attention to your hair is a seductive move that shows your interest in the other person.
- Flip your hair from your shoulders using your hand to reveal a little bit of skin.
- Run your hand through your hair once or twice while talking to the other person.
- Try not to play with your hair the entire time you’re interacting, as this can be distracting.
5
Bite or lick your lips to show your interest. Like most other forms of physical flirtation, this should be done lightly as opposed to aggressively. When you’re talking to the other person, bite a side of your lip gently, or wet your lips slightly while listening to draw attention to your mouth.
- You might bite your lip gently while thinking about the answer to a question someone just asked you, or lick your lips when you’re standing close to the other person and want to hint that you like them.

Community Q&A

Question

Are there any specific tips for girls trying to flirt with other girls?

Emily Berger1

Community Answer

Many of the same flirting tips work whether you're flirting with boys or other girls, like maintaining eye contact, touching their arm, or playing with your hair.
Question

How do you know if they are comfortable with holding hands? Im too scared to try and initiate it.

Emily Berger1

Community Answer

You could try holding their hand for just a couple seconds, giving it a small squeeze, and see how they react. If they don't seem to mind, try holding their hand for longer, like when you cross a street or walk through a crowded space. You can also always just ask them!
Question

Is blushing a sign he likes me

Emily Berger1

Community Answer

Blushing can be a sign that someone likes you, especially if they're blushing when talking to you or making eye contact.

Warnings

Use caution when touching someone's face⁠—some people don't like to be touched there and it may make them uncomfortable.

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Helpful 40 Not Helpful 1
If you're flirting physically and they look uncomfortable or ask you to stop, respect their wishes.

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