How to Get a Boy's Attention

Co-authored by Cristina Morara and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: February 15, 2022 References Approved

Whether he’s a good friend or someone you just met, we know standing out in a crowd and getting a boy to notice you can be tough. Luckily, there are a ton of things you can do to catch his eye and keep him interested. We have a ton of tips to help you get his attention from a distance and eventually hold a conversation so you can get to know him better!

1

Make eye contact.

Lock eyes for a few seconds to let him know you’re into him. Whenever the boy is around, look his way from time to time. If he turns and sees you too, keep holding eye contact for a few seconds before you turn back to what you were doing. Even just stealing a quick look in his direction could intrigue him enough to come talk to you.^{[1]
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- Be careful not to stare at him for too long since it could make him feel uncomfortable.
- Try making a slight smile to seem even more inviting.

2

Flash your smile.

Smiling lets you flirt from a distance and hints that you’re crushing on him. Any time you see the boy you’re into, give him a warm and genuine smile. Even if you just pass him in the halls or see him across the room, put on a happy face. If he was nervous at all, the smile can help make him feel more comfortable and make it seem like you actually want to talk with him.^{[2]
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3

Act confident.

Guys are attracted to people who feel secure and self-assured. Be proud of who you are and put yourself out there to show that you’re comfortable with who you are. Rather than second-guessing yourself or comparing yourself to someone else, recognize what you’re good at so you can boost your self-esteem. If the boy sees that you’re already happy with yourself, he’ll be a lot more interested in getting to know you.^{[3]
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- Avoid trying too hard since it might seem unnatural and show-offy.^{[4]
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  Cristina Morara
  Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- You can build up your confidence by listing the things you’re good at, using positive self-talk, and writing down your achievements.^{[5]
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4

Rock a confident outfit.

Express yourself with clothes that make you feel and look good. Don’t feel like you need to wear something that’s revealing or uncomfortable. Instead, try putting together some outfits that fit you well and fit your personal style. Jeans that hug your body and a fun top are some great choices. Try to find some pieces that make you stand out a little more, like a funky piece of jewelry or some heels, so the boy’s more likely to look your way.^{[6]
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- Just be sure you stay authentic to your own style, or else it could come across that you’re trying too hard.

5

Wear your favorite perfume or cologne.

Having a signature scent makes him notice and remember you when he smells it. Try out a few different fragrances to see which one you like the best. Just spritz a little bit on your body every day so the scent doesn’t get too overpowering. Whenever you see the guy, try to walk past him so he can smell it. If he likes it, then he might look your way or approach you. Even if he doesn’t do anything right away, he’ll still think of you each time he smells your fragrance.^{[7]
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- If the guy doesn’t react to the smell of your perfume or cologne, try out a different scent to see if it works better.

6

Use open body language.

Keeping your arms at your sides and turning toward him invites him to talk to you. If you want to look more approachable, keep your arms at your sides instead of crossing them in front of you. Turn your body towards the boy so you’re facing him and lean in closer if you’re already near him. Try to avoid crossing your legs, turning away from him, or tensing up, since that could make him think you’re closed off or uncomfortable.^{[8]
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- Try mirroring his body language. If he sees you doing the same thing as him, he might be more likely to come talk to you.

7

Brush up against him.

Physical touch lets him know you want to connect. When you walk past the guy, try brushing against him to break the touch barrier between you. If you’re a little closer with the guy already, you can try touching his arm or shoulder when you say something to let him know you’re interested. Any light and playful touch could be enough to make him want more.^{[9]
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- Leave the boy alone if he pulls away or feels uncomfortable after you touch him.

8

Develop your passions and hobbies.

Getting involved in your interests makes him more curious about you. You become a lot more interesting and admirable to people when you do the things you love. Join clubs and hobby groups so you can stay involved and continue to develop your passions. If you’re really talented at something, don’t be afraid to show off your skills a little bit around the guy so he’s bound to notice you.^{[10]
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- For example, if you’re a really good dancer, you could go out on the dance floor and bust a few moves.

9

Try making the first move.

Directly approaching him lets him know your intentions right up front. While you can wait for him to approach you, he could be a little shy or not know what to say. If you’re feeling confident and want to take the pressure off of him, try approaching him first rather than waiting. If you haven’t met, just introduce yourself so you can get to know him. If he’s someone you’re already familiar with, start some casual small talk.^{[11]
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- For example, you could say, “Hey, I saw you across the room and I just wanted to say hi. I’m Gina.”

10

Give him a compliment.

Complimenting something unique about the guy makes him feel special. Take a second to look for something that you noticed about the boy that you can comment on. You could mention something about what he’s wearing, his style, or how he acted. Since compliments make a guy feel special, he’ll be more likely to talk to you more. Some things you might say include:^{[12]
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- “That shirt looks really nice on you.”
- “I love your hairstyle!”
- “I really appreciate how polite you’ve been.”

11

Ask him some questions.

Learn more about him so he gets engaged in the conversation. Show the guy that you’re curious about who he is and come up with a few fun things to ask. You could talk about his favorite movie, where he grew up, what he likes to do for fun, or any other non-controversial topic. While he’s talking, be attentive and listen to show him that you really care and want to get to know him.^{[13]
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- For example, you could ask things like, “What are your favorite things to do in your free time?” or “What’s been the most exciting part of your day so far?”
- Try to avoid topics like religion or politics if you’re just meeting the guy since it could be a little taboo.

12

Look for common interests.

Sharing similar tastes will make him want to connect even more. As you’re talking with the boy, ask him about his hobbies and what he likes to do. If you both love doing the same thing, let him know so you can build your bond. If you have a lot in common, the guy might be more open to talking to you in the future and develop a stronger relationship.^{[14]
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- For example, you could say something like, “No way, The Iron Giant is my favorite movie too! I love the animation so much. What do you like about it?”

13

Show off your sense of humor.

Acting a little goofy lets him know you’re fun to be around. Don’t be afraid to make light of a situation to show you have a good sense of humor. Crack a joke, do a silly dance, or share the crazy ideas that come to your mind. The guy will appreciate that you’re being authentic and quirky so he’s more interested.^{[15]
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- This works well if you’re in the same place as the guy but not talking to him directly. Make jokes and show him that you’re having fun with your friends so he’s more intrigued.

14

Act a little mysterious.

Leaving some things a mystery keeps him wanting more. While you should talk a little bit about yourself, you don’t have to tell him everything. Hold off on telling him any secrets or details about yourself if you’re just meeting him for the first time. That way, he’ll keep thinking about your conversation and reach out again to learn more about you.^{[16]
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Cristina Morara
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Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.}
- Every time you see the guy, tell him a little bit more about yourself so it doesn’t feel like you’re playing games or toying with him.

15

Reach out on social media.

Share posts and comments so you can connect online. If you aren’t already, find the boy’s profile so you can add him as a friend or follow him. Every now and then, comment on his posts so you stay on his mind. If you have mutual friends with the boy, tag them in your posts and ask them to tag you in theirs so he’s more likely to see them on his feed.^{[17]
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- If you’ve already connected in real life, you can continue your conversations through messenger apps or DMs.

16

Stay true to yourself.

Try to avoid changing who you are just because you want someone to notice you. If you act differently around the boy you’re interested in, he won’t get to know who you really are. Stay authentic to who you are and don’t feel like you need to change for anyone. Even if you don’t get one guy’s attention, you’re bound to draw someone closer who loves who you actually are.^{[18]
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Expert Q&A

Question

Why is making eye contact so important?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

It communicates confidence, and it puts people at ease if you maintain positive body language and smile. It's honestly one of those little things that can make a world of difference when it comes to connecting with someone.
Question

How can I get a guy to talk to me?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Ask a lot of open-ended questions. Be genuine and comfortable. If you seem open to talking and you prompt him to talk about himself, he should open up a bit. Just try to keep things light at first!
Question

What's a bold way to ask a guy out?

Cristina Morara
Dating Coach
Cristina Morara is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, Relationship Expert, and the Founder of Stellar Hitch Private Matchmaking, a luxury matchmaking service based in Los Angeles that serves clients nationwide and internationally. As a former casting director, Cristina specializes in finding the perfect partner through her exclusive global network and detailed, warm approach. Cristina holds a BA in Communications and Psychology from Villanova University. Stellar Hitch has been featured in the Huffington Post, Chelsea Handler’s Netflix documentary, ABC News, the Tonight Show, Voyage LA, and the Celebrity Perspective.

Cristina Morara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Just be super direct if you want to go this route. Say something like, "I just want to let you know, if you were to ask me out on a date, I'd say yes."

Warnings

Just because you get a boy’s attention doesn’t necessarily mean he’s attracted to you. It may take some time to develop feelings.

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If the guy seems nervous or doesn’t respond at all, don’t get discouraged. He might not be interested, but there’s someone out there for you.

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